Demonic Christmas Tree

While clocking in at ten times longer, it is just not nearly as pithy. There are long stretches of buxom hens nattering on about absolutely nothing.

Of course, the movie is corny and it knows it. Doesn't make it good.

Some of the kills were inventive. Like the one on the tennis court was my favorite.

The one lady in the sequins is definitely a budget Kathryn Hahn for sure.

The part in the manor house is something to watch with your eyeballs when observing the screen you are viewing via your vision.

Apparently no animals were harmed in the making of this movie. But there is no mention in the credits of an on-set arborist or watchdog certification by a botanical welfare society. So trees were most likely treated inhumanely.

Probably can say the same for the audience.

It's a dumb bad movie. If that's your thing.

The Killing Tree (2022) is a UK movie that I recently watched on Tubi. The storyline follows a serial killer's widow who casts a spell for him to return but the spell goes wrong and he returns as a Christmas tree. As a Christmas tree he also has special powers that allows him to do things beyond his wildest dreams. The serial killing tree sets out for revenge on those who caused him to get caught and executed.

This movie is directed by Rhys Frake-Waterfield (Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey) and stars Sarah Alexandra Marks (Kill Kane), Marcus Massey (Bunny: The Killer Thing), Judy Tcherniak (Monster Portal) and Kelly Rian Sanson (Curse of Jack Frost).

This movie wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The storyline itself reminded me a little of Shocker. The acting and dialogue is just okay but the horror elements are entertaining. There's a pool scene I really enjoyed and the kills by the tree get better and better as the movie progresses. The CGI didn't bother me at all and reminded me a little of Deep Rising. The final showdown scenes at the end are a lot of fun. I would definitely watch a sequel.

Overall, this is a fun watch for fans of bad horror movies. I would score this a 5.5/10 and recommend seeing it once.

I love bad B-Movie style horror, as long as it is entertaining, and this was! The film is about a women resurrecting her dead husband into killer Christmas tree, so this is exactly as dumb as you expect it to be, and glorious!

People die in all kinds of fun, dumb, and brutal ways. And this being done by the Christmas tree is the selling point of the film. The acting is sadly a bit of a mixed bag, some people really selling it, and others being a bit flat.

But honestly I had so much fun with how gloriously bad this film was, and the film knew it was a dumb concept, but just went with it and had fun with it. So definitely for those who want dumb bad horror.

Obviously if you're going to go the route of a slapstick type killer on the loose, you need to know your film is a comedy. This clearly doesn't. Not a single joke in the film. Unless if you count them using the Star of David instead of a pentagon as a joke, but I'm pretty sure that was just a production error. This could've been an instant cult classic like Jack Frost, heck, all they really need to do is re-record the voice over of the tree and make him funny. Like if the tree were to strangle someone with lights have the tree say "lighten up" or if the tree kills a barking dog say "all bark, no bite" or if the tree kills a topless girl with his roots or whatever, have him say "got wood?" It's really not hard to make this concept worth watching. And it wouldn't cost too much to redo the ADR and make some cash.

Plot

On Christmas Eve, a widow casts a spell to resurrect her executed husband. However, when the spell goes wrong, the husband is brought back as an Evil Christmas Tree and is hell-bent on getting revenge on the one who caused his execution.

Cast

The usual suspects that you expect to see in Uncorked and ITN movies, truly dreadful for the most part who have absolutely no place in the industry especially Marcus Massey who puts in a career worst here.

Verdict

I went in assuming a novelty comedy horror, I knew it was almost certainly going to be bad especially considering the creators and cast but expected at least that novelty value which could make up for it.

I didn't expect it to be this bad, it truly is abysmal. You see the novelty element is worn thin by just how bad it is, the horror is barely present and the comedy? I think they forgot to implement that. I mean how exactly do you make a movie about a killer Christmas tree and leave out the comedy? It's actually played serious and that couldn't possibly work!

Sometimes the tree is practical, sometimes it's CGI, sometimes it's 5ft sometimes it's 50ft, the acting from our villains is comically terrible, the dialogue from the tree is some of the worst I've ever heard. It's not that it's bad, it's just repetitive and generic to a level I never thought was possible. You have to hear it to believe it.

So there it is, it's not funny, it's not worth it for the novelty value, it's not film so bad it's worth a giggle, it's just bad.

Rants

Marcus Massey please retire Marcus Massey please retire Marcus Massey please retire Marcus Massey please retire Marcus Massey please retire That's my rant, seriously he's so bad.

Breakdown

Strange concept at least Not funny Not scary Awful cast Marcus Massey Terrible CGI Dreadful dialogue.