Commissaire Magellan

Magellan is simply the most formulaic mystery series I've ever seen, at least after season one. So, I've compiled a template for a budding Magellan writer.

Template for a Commissair Magellan Screenplay:

1) Open with short scene with the victim earlier the day of the murder.

2) Next scene, usually at night, the murder, tastefully done, little gore.

3) After stock footage of the town is standing in for the fictional town of Saignac, Magellan is at breakfast with his daughter and his nephew, Ludo. In the middle of the cute breakfast colloquy Megellan must get a call from his work colleague Selma telling him of the murder, to which he responds "I'll be right there" and he immediately leaves. (Note to screenwriter: The call about the murder must come at breakfast, not in the afternoon at the Police Station, or any other time.)

4) At the crime scene Magellan and Selma speak to several people who knew the victim and one gives them the name of a very likely suspect.

5) They go to interview that suspect, whom they determine is not likely to be the killer, but that suspect tells them something that leads them to another suspect, and it continues that way through several suspects.

6) One of the suspects should take a runner when he sees the two cops and Selma, being the younger of the two and in better shape, chases after him. This suspect is male and should not end up being the murderer.

8) While unraveling all sorts of family and business secrets among the suspects our two cops discover that the parentage of one of the younger characters is different than what everyone believes. (This is optional as it doesn't have to be in every episode, but the majority of them.)

9) Approximately ten minutes before the end of the episode the most likely suspect at that point must be murdered as he/she knows too much. But this second murder must quickly lead them to find the real killer.

10) During the course of the investigation there should be three scenes of Magellan at home with his daughter and live in comic relief character, the ne'er-do-well, insufferable Ludo. (Note to writer: These scenes should be cute and delightful, but so far they've been mostly ridiculous, silly and annoying.)

It should be noted that the Ludo character replaced prosecutor and Magellan's best friend Gavrillac, who was in the earlier episodes It was always unbelievable as to how the otherwise intelligent prosecutor could act so stupid. With respect to Ludo that's not a problem!

There is almost no deviation from the above formula in every episode, so if you are binge watching this night after night as I did, it becomes frustrating. Can't they do something original and break out of the mold, but they never do. Yet, despite all this I was hooked.

Indeed, it is a tribute to the writers can come up with such interesting plots and characters within these very strict guidelines.

Season 1 of Magellan was extremely enjoyable. All the actors and plots worked out. Then the wonderful Nabil disappeared and was replaced by an ever complaining character at the end of season 1. Season 2 starts with 2 girls younger than in season 1! Since when this would make sense to anyone? And not only that, but their character is unpleasant. Is the writer different ? 10 stars for season 1, 4 stars for season 2

The Gaellic version Midsomer Murders. Very formulaic, which actually makes it an easygoing enjoyable show to sit back and watch a couple of episodes a week. His sidekick Salma, a lovely smart detective, who has the answer to everything after checking her computer or ipad for 2 seconds. Magellan home life after the first few seasons is quiet, with daughters, girlfriend and buddies at French restaurant until the intro of his nephew, Ludo. This character should be awarded the French Emmy for most annoying character on French TV.

From my American perspective, seems like every episode and every character has an affair, and/or don't know their origins or that of their parents, siblings, even their kids. French detective shows seem to feature certain type of murders: the death of a opera/ballet star, soccer player, cyclist, so when the victim was a swimmer, I was happy, as I am a swimmer. I loved this episode and laughed my head off. Also shared with my Master's coach, lines such as, "swimmers are very competitive, any of them could easily be murderer." . Or, that the french female swimmer is "tres fagile." Tell that to Ledecky. Actually almost every young woman is "tres fragile." to Magellan.

Another thing that makes me laugh is that you often hear the metaphor, "a stick up his ass." The protagonist literally walks like has a stick up his ass with his arms not moving. Is this a mannerisms the director wants to highlight? Because we often see Magellan walking around, and next to Salma (who has the grace of a dancerj looks awful. Also isn't France noted for their sartorial style? His jacket looks like a sack of potatos.

Check out Mongeville , another French detective story. The chemistry between two protagonist is much better, plus his home life is one of a rich eccentric who loves to cook luscious French dinners. Seems more like a retired French Bruce Wayne, who loves to solve murders with French panache.

Commissaire Magellan is an enigma: he is kind of annoyingly sympathetic but also an utter bore and very conservative living in a French small town. Still this show survived for quite a few seasons - I guess the reason is that it avoids senseless violence and action action action scenes - which I too appreciate.

Cinematography is similar, nothing stands out, which again is good, on the other hand it's also really boring again, so it fits the show. The first few episodes have terrible lighting and a brownish tint to it - so it looks even more dated.

Acting generally is ok, nothing special again.

The stories themselves tend to be rather convoluted though. Episodes are around 90 minutes long! They should be 60 minutes though. I've got the feeling there are too many pages added just to lengthen the script.

Music: it drags along in the background not drawing much attention, except in the episode 7 ('Undercover Miss' in the US), an episode called 'La miss aux deux visages' in original where the musics composer borrows very liberally from Antonio Jobim's 'How insensitive'! Or was it a love letter to Jobim?

All in all: very pétit bourgeois !

If you're a fan of Midsomer Murders, but also like your mysteries to have a decidedly Gallic twist, then Magellan is absolutely for you. The plots are convoluted, the suspects are plentiful, and the dogged Inspector is invariably going to get his man (or woman). But, what sets Magellan apart from what the French would call its British homologue is its edginess, its willingness to discover dark little corners in the psyches of even its most sympathetic characters, even Inspector Magellan himself. There's a focus on the actual crime investigation itself that sometimes gets blurred in Midsomer Murders; unlike its British cousin, Magellan's narratives are sharper, more detailed, and easier to take seriously. None of the casualness that sometimes makes Midsomer Murders seem like an excuse to meander through the sometimes incomprehensible (to a foreigner) personality quirks of the British provincial elite. There's real police business being done here, and Simon Magellan, despite his Colomboesque sartorial disarray and his exasperation with his often uncomfortable role as a 21st century divorced father desperately trying to do the right thing by his precocious teenaged daughters, really is a highly respected and insightful cop. His characteristically French aura of ironic detachment barely conceals a good and decent man who clearly understands what makes people tick and uses that understanding to tease out ingenious solutions to the tangled mysteries he encounters (references to Simenon's Maigret would be appropriate at this point). Yes, the mythical Northern town of Saignac appears to account for just about all of the murders recorded in France in any given month, but that's what we love about formulaic, locked room mysteries like this -- they tell us that the world may seem perennially out of joint, but that with local heroes like Tom Barnaby in England and Simon Magellan in France, everything will turn out more or less alright.