Bread Crumbs

I normally love cheesy horror but this film was just plain bad, and not bad enough to make good watching. The characters are bland, undeveloped, and the acting is terrible. The plot is slightly different than other horrors, but not interesting enough to make it worth watching for that reason alone, and the filmmakers don't provide any other reason. The pace plods on like a metronome ticking and there are no memorable moments, shocks or build ups that are so integral to the genre.

Skip this one if you're a fan of good horror, with or without cheese, because this one is just plain bland.

Not very many movies impress me these days and I'm not going to say this one was an exception. However, obviously low budget, this movie was genuinely creepy.

You can pick up any horror movie and it be gory these days and really that's all they are. Gory sequences with a light plot thrown into it. This one took the original Brother's Grimm fable and twisted it. I enjoyed it. Some of the acting wasn't very good but fit well with their supposed industry, seemed like a bit of an inside joke. There are a few funny moments in it as well which seems to be necessary for the Horror genre as well. I wouldn't classify this movie as horror though. It's more like a creepy camp fire story.

BREADCRUMBS is yet ANOTHER slasher-in-the-woods low budget horror flick made with a paucity of imagination or style. It's dull beyond belief, and I'm not going to give the film-makers a break just because they didn't have any money to shoot; the British film-makers behind HAROLD'S GOING STIFF had nothing to work with either and they made a funny, genuinely heartwarming zombie film.

The cartoon credits are the best thing about BREADCRUMBS and it all goes downhill from there. The storyline sees a modern-day Hansel and Gretel lurking in the woods, where they encounter the cast and crew of a porn shoot taking place in an EVIL DEAD-style cabin. What follows is a mildly gruesome slasher flick, with the deaths all happening in the most predictable way imaginable.

The characters are poorly written and unlikeable and most of the plotting in the second half evolves around the most obvious and unworkable twist ever, so I don't know why they even bothered. Needless to say the cast and crew are all sub-par as well, making this a virtually worthless viewing experience.

The cast and crew of a porno movie travel to a remote woodland location where they find themselves menaced by a boy and girl who live in the forest.

When you think about them, some children's fairy tales are pretty messed up, Hansel & Gretel being a prime example: a brother and sister are abandoned by their parents in a forest, left to die of exposure or starvation, but find themselves rescued by an old woman who lives in a gingerbread house. What they don't realise is that the lady is a cannibalistic witch who intends to eat them. It's enough to give kids sleepless nights.

BreadCrumbs, which is inspired by Hansel and Gretel, is the opposite: it's likely to send its viewers soundly off to sleep. Directed by Mike Nichols (NOT the one who gave us The Graduate), the film is about as bland and forgettable as horror gets, with unlikeable characters, dull kills, and an uninspired plot that provides little exposition (why are the kids homicidal, how are they able to pop up anywhere at any time, and where are they getting their candy from?). The porn shoot plot device at least promises copious nookie and nudity from several good looking women, but barring one brief sex scene and the gratuitous exposing of the same actress's tits later on in the film, BreadCrumbs disappoints on that count as well.

A group of porn filmmakers are systematically attacked by two children on the set of a remote shoot.

We have actress Kristina Klebe here, and a whole lot of unknowns in the woods being preyed upon by "kids" (more like young adults) who think they are Hansel and Gretel. It fails on many levels. The first, and most obvious, was not using kids to play the kids.

The porn aspect is done decently, including a nice parody of the "Big Sausage Pizza" series of films. But I am not really sure why they had to be porn stars. It could have been any random group of people -- the only difference here being that we have a sex scene. But the porn is not central to the plot like (the much better) "One Eyed Monster".

There probably is no reason to see this one. People in the woods getting killed. We have seen this before. Sure, it has a few new angles, and there is a lot of potential for a good Hansel and Gretel story. This just was not the right one.