Xia Yi Zhan Shi Xing Fu

'I know a rich woman who hired a young gigolo; she said his skin was as smooth as a 🍼Baby 🐬Dolphin''s,' Fan's BFF wistfully recollects〰

FY is a fairytale for older single chicks. The story of Fan reminds me of the Princess Bride as I imagine it starting w/ the 32y/o Fan sitting in bed. Grandma, sitting bedside, pulls out a 📖 (entitled That 🍼🐬 is Mine). 'Tonight we'll read about the director & the intern who loves her,' starts grandma...

Soon it's all hitting the FAN. Or should we say she FANS the 🔥 of a walking lawsuit? Even in 🇨🇳, "doing" the intern is a no-no, so here we go!

"If humans all live the same way it would be boring, wouldn't it?" Marriage & kids, marriage & kids. It's all the older generation knows. The young-gen isn't much better 〰'You're pretty & you have it all together. Why do you want to go on blind dates?" 〰 'At age 32, you are considered a leftover woman.' 〰 'Look at your age - Don't be so picky.' 〰 "A virgin can't reincarnate, right?" This is what Fan is up against. She's reaching an expiration date, like the 4th yogurt from a buy-3-get-1-free deal. 'What others say about us is not scary. The scariest thing is when you believe it,' she despairs. What might be scarier is falling for your baby brother's student.

Victoria Song is "Fan". I 💖 her. In ep1 she meets ML#2. David Wang is "Ming". Sure, ML#1, the waif thin Song, is beautiful w/ skin as smooth as a 🍼🐬 & a compelling ML, but I fell hard for this Ming guy! Domineering? He isn't that, so much as driven. He can take it too far, but as a bf he's absolutely lovely. The handsome actor is manly while being funny & a tad ridiculous. He's also the Sun Tzu of human relationships. Ming's firm is a client of Amazing Decorations, Fan's employer. She has to apologize for a screw-up, which places her in his office. He's repugnant. Fan is submitted to a tirade of insults along w/ the news that AD is fired. Fan starts sobbing (it's a really bad day). He relents, but 1st impressions are cemented in. This starts a string of junctures between them.

He's convinced she's stalking him. By the time he realizes his misconception (falling for her utterly in the same moment) she's already fallen for Song. So when they meet up yet again (blind date), Ming switches gears & adopts the "Let's be friends" ruse. He wants her badly. He pre-ID'd his blind date & showed up ready to seal the deal. The viewer almost hears screeching brakes as he wriggles into her life. He 'came to this blind date to mollify his sister'. He 'already has someone' he likes, too. They 'can be friends'. She confides in him as she thinks he's a disinterested party. He jumps on her fumble & runs it back to the 5 yard line➡ he offers to be her romance coach.

The acting excels. Expressions & lines are full of life & wit. We like these people. Song Wei Long is Song. He's perfect at being a sexy, winsome puppy - sweet, loving & cuddly, but not too compliant, w/ a touch of the 🐕 in him. Yang is Fan's brother. He can really yang&bang - he's a college prof & a total playboy. Esther Yu (Love Between Fairy & Devil 8.9) is "Cai", Ming's niece. Her wavery voice is adorable.

Here's the seating chart: FL/Fan is Yang's twin & Song's boss at AD. Yang is Song's college prof & got him the job at AD. Yang is Cai's prof as well. Ming, client of AD, is Cai's uncle & guardian as she attends school. She stays w/ him on the w/e. Cai is in 💘 w/ Song. This leads to scenes in which Cai & Ming are both mourning over the same thing - their crush is in 💘 w/ someone else - but they don't know that their crushes are in love w/ e/o.

Fan cannot resist dating Song who is 10 yrs her jr, but 〰 'Do you think that's his gf?" 〰 "No way. She's too old." 〰 "She's not that old." 〰 "Maybe she's rich & he's a paid escort." Standards; Ideal mate; What do you want in a spouse? There's so many topics that Fan now finds uncomfortable! Fan is not a salmon. Going against the current is exhausting. She demands they keep /them/ a secret. She doesn't want to deal w/ professionals, coworkers, college frenemies, family, nosy neighbors, & random people on the street w/ their snark, condescension & judgment. She can't take the pressure! Song's a beautiful 🍼🐬; she's not that, either. She wants to try a relationship in a sedate & carefully cultured koi pond. Ming convinces her to try dating him to distract herself from her 💔. She breaks it off w/ Song. Yes, on 📑 Fan & Ming are perfect for e/o. Analytics will only get you to the playoffs. It doesn't necessarily win championships. When it comes to matters of the heart, the intangibles are what scores the 🏆

"Didn't you play flip the box in Kgarten?" "No, we played minesweeper & the loser had to buy lunch." FY depicts generational disconnect & how rigid the mindset of older people can be. Yet it's gentle w/ the elders & reinforces our obligations of deference & patience toward those who worked & sacrificed before us. Other themes are the disparity between the sexes & tossing out silly taboos along w/ the societal pressure that keeps them in place. Most of all, it's abt lies, including the struggle between truth as we want to see it & actual truth. FY is Fear>Deceit>Pride>Secrets>Relationship hierarchy>More lies>Gossip>Judgment>Expectations>Responsibilities>Finally, Freedom.

"Relationships between adults are usually maintained w/ white lies." 〰 "Where is the line between hiding & deceiving?" 〰 "Sometimes, a lie is like quenching thirst w/ poison." Fan gives it serious thought. "Perhaps lies are ice melting in truth. Eventually, there's no difference." Why do we lie? It's almost always for our own short-term comfort. Lying is like taking drugs. Comforting effects are temporary & the residue left behind is enslaving. Thus the adage: The truth will set you free. Society actually runs on lies, but that's not a good thing. James Spader, who falls for an older Susan Sarandon in the film White Palace, plays a reformed habitual liar in the movie Sex Lies & Videotape. He stopped lying altogether. It's portrayed as shocking. He was still kind - people who won't lie must know when to say nothing.

We lie to ourselves first, & the biggest lie we tell ourselves is that we're okay. The truth is that we all have lots to work on. We're all damaged, hurt, or spoiled in some way. To let go of lying we have to let go of pride. We're all better off without it; pride only obstructs 💘. Humans tend to complicate things endlessly. Fan must sort through heaps of societal garbage to arrive at what's really important. At the end of the day, things are simple. We just have to toss out the trash that's been thrown on top of us by family, friends, society, & ourselves, and grab onto the good.

The writing is excellent. There's humor & an understanding of human relations. The dialogue is snappy. The director is skillful w/ cutting & segues. He plays it well for comedy & there's a bright crispness to the flow. The pace is almost methodical - in the best way. Early on the viewer might wonder how they will fill 41 eps. They do it steadily. I can get a teensy bit stressed when I like a show, waiting for it to go downhill, as so many resort to padding & idiocy to fill the required eps. FY doesn't merely hold the line, it improves as it goes on. It's 1 of 2 modern-day Cdramas I've seen that aren't significantly flawed, (the other is A Little Thing Called First Love-8.5). 🇨🇳 is not a free country & it has seemed like they were at a loss as to how modern people should behave. It appears they've reflected on themselves & decided to get more real. Perhaps we can thank K🇰🇷. FY makes positive references to Kpop & dramas.

Now for the Scooby snacks:

〰"Being friends w/ your ex is the highest level of break-up." Seriously, can it get more 🇨🇳 than that?

〰On the wall of the office is inscribed: If you are always trying to be NORMAL you will never know how AMAZING you can be.

〰The family dynamics are cute. Fan's overprotective brother got in the way of all her romantic relationships when they were growing up. Ironically, he introduces Fan to her first 💘 after blocking 💘 for so many years.

〰The wardrobe contains some duds but has lots of winners. They had fun reinventing mens collared dress shirts. Fan accessories well.

〰Fan & Song play badminton. Determined to lose & not embarrass the other, each claims s/he is not a good player, though Fan could have made the nat'l team. Soon the competitive juices fire up w/ video game animation overlay to enhance the scene. It's very funny.

〰Ming's cousin is his assistant. They strictly set familial vs work boundaries. She keeps it all business on the 🕰 unless she requests a time out to talk to her cousin. Then their expressions, body language & demeanor will change instantly while they talk as family for a tad. Then it's back into work mode.

〰Ming only knows half of the equation & he says, "could it get more complicated than that?" Lol - It already is.

〰Fan protests- "I'm only 31... & 1/2..." The actress delivers superbly.

"A sense of belonging is, 'I am yours.' But a sense of security is, 'You are mine'." Young people want someone they like, older people want to find the right one. What does Ming want? He admits that he's childish, but he wants his destiny. FY tells us that's like hitting the jackpot🎰. Love at first sight is like winning the 🎰. Finding 💘 on a blind date? 🎰. Finding 💘 when a woman is over 30 is definitely like hitting the 🎰. Fan hits the super~🎰~schizzle. Cha-ching!

QUOTES📢

Men have a bad habit of being w/ their exes even if they don't have any feelings left

Siblings are debts from a prior life

Parents' tears drown relationships

〰🖍 IMHO

📣8.8 📝8.8 🎭8.5 💓8 🦋8 🎨7 🎵/🔊7 🔚8 ▪ 🌞7 ⚡2 😅5.5 😭3 😱0 😯3 😖0 🤔7 💤0

Poli-wagging 2/10

Age 14+ The primary couple does get it on prior to marriage and they do 😚 generate some steam.

Re-📺? 🔛

Find Yourself on Netflix in the US. All my 7 stars go for the lead actor Song Weilong who plays Yuan Song the young intern who falls for his older boss He Fanxing. He is handsome, charming, smart, independent, has goals, knows what he wants, but yet still is innocent and young in his heart and in many ways. He plays the part well and was the perfect actor to play the part. The script went on way too long though for 41 episodes with his love moping around, putting him off, and you will end up hating the man who wants to ruin their relationship and keeps playing tricks on her named Ye Luming. I can see a couple of episodes of tricks being played to interfere to pull the lovers apart but it went on and on and on until you can't stand it anymore and also I developed a dislike for the female character as well. The ending was cute and nice but it just took so long. #FindYourself.

A successful company manager in her thirties has never known love but then a very attractive young intern starts at her company and is instantly smitten with her but will he capture her heart. The series has a great cast and many interesting characters and side stories and over the 41 episodes only has the occasionally lull. It makes some relatable observations about love in romantic relationships and friendships through the individuals lives. Overall very well written, well acted and occasionally laugh out loud funny.

Came for Song Weilong, stayed for Victoria Song. Also discovered Miles Wei at some point and Esther Yu in another extremely childish and annoying role, but I'm trying not to fault her for that.

It's the character writing and development that are at fault here, but despite the issues I gotta say the drama became very bingeable in its second half when it started to deal with and show more mature issues and situations. I struggled in the beginning and honestly maybe the biggest flaw is the length. It is too long and wastes too much on some things while glossing over or under-developing others.

Its main focus is the female lead, He Fanxing and her mid-life, if you can call it that, crisis. I was and still am not a fan of ten year difference couples, and not because of the ten years between them, but because of the respective stages that they're at in their lives. A man in his very early twenties cannot and should not commit to a woman in her thirties and the ones that are able to follow through are unicorns. But if you look at these Asian romances you'd think it's a common occurrence.

In a way I strongly disagree with a vast majority of commenters and I will say Luming was better suited for Fanxing in every conceivable way, in this drama, with these players, as they're shown. Fanxing is very comfortable and at ease with him, in a way that she is not with Yuan Song, whom she is attracted to and not much else. This is a three month old love affair (as per usual in Asian dramas) and they're selling it like the love of both their lives. I never believed in the depth of their feelings, although they have good good chemistry and skinship, but let's be honest, it's just attraction. And I actually think Fanxing has much more scenes with Ye Luming than with Yuan Song, which is telling. Towards the end, when they get back together, there is no mature conversation between them, it's all silly games and teasing and jealousy. I really wanted some heart to heart. I just think their relationship is badly written, making it look juvenile, but selling it as natural and pure. I think He Fanxing is badly written in the first half, making her a mature professional but very silly and naive in love. Even as a very inexperienced woman she would have seen some things around her. This is a never been kissed virgin who falls in love like a teenager but also quickly gets physical with the guy, but she acts all coy and silly. Maybe that's the comedy part only I wasn't laughing. I actually liked her dynamic with Luming and that guy shows some real guts at the end, despite the fact that it makes him pitiful.

As for the other players, was not a fan of He Canyang and Minmin at all. I don't know what that was about, except to turn it into a South-American soap with all the forbidden couplings. I thought they should've reunited him with Professor Song. That would've been a challenge. And Professor Song's own relationship troubles were not given enough space at the end. As for their other female friend, well that one took too much space at some point.

And yes, momma He is biased against He Canyang by the way she acts when she finds out about both her kids' romantic choices.

Papa He's illness was used solely as a catalyst to push Fanxing even more towards Luming. Did not appreciate that.

Overall and despite all these flaws above, I actually enjoyed some of the mature themes and how they're dealt with and the love triangle kind of works in the second half, as in I see why she had to go through all of that, as odd as her choices were. It's a subjective eight but I will give it an eight, which is not to say I approve or believe in these two, but they can be enjoyable to watch.

This drama portrays a modern take on love and relationship between a man and women. There are moments that are completely swoon worthy. And there are moments that are a bit boring. The on-screen chemistry is definitely apparent between the main leads and even the other couples within the show.

This is a must watch if you are bored of the normal "status-quo" type of romance dramas!!!