Kambakkht Ishq

This movie is a strong no-no for any movie lover, even for die hard fans of Akshay or Kareena. Reasons... read below.

Story: This movie is about a dog and a bitch, who cannot say filthy words on-screen because of censorship. So they go out hurling abuse on the opposite sex without any justification. The audience is dumbstruck on their own foolishness to spend 150 bucks and more so 140 minutes on the 'datum of the datums' movie.

Direction: Now they know, every asst director cannot and should not become a director. Even a stunt man could have done a better job on KI.

Guest Appearances: Neither Nadiadwala nor Sabbir has a degree in management. Else they would know that you cannot offer a product whose functionality is unknown to the customer. Stallone is OK, but how many Indians know Routh or Dennise Richards, probably less than 0.5%. Why waste so much money on big Hollywood starts who cannot translate it into revenues??

Acting: Akshay is the least exploited actor in last few years. He has such great acting potential last seen in Hera Pheri and Namaste London. But since then, he has done some of the worst movies of his career. KI is just an addition to the list. Kareena is the biggest letdown of the decade. No point hailing her as a superstar, we all know how her acting has deteriorated over the years. Her acting in Refugee, Asoka and Chameli showed such great promise. But its all gone now. In KI, she not only acts poorly but also looks ugly. Sorry to say, she looks like a transsexual in her zero figure. Instead of Kareena, they should have gone for any voluptuous babe with sexy figure like Bipasha, Shilpa or even Deepika. Aaftab and Amrita has gone down from supporting actors to side kicks to now kicked in the corner. And what the hell are Boman Irani and Javed Jaffery doing in here?? This movie is not meant for them.

Music: This could have been the saving grace for this dumb movie, just like Singh is king. But alas, music is more pathetic than the movie itself. I don't remember even one nice song to hum.

Once again, a complete disaster.

I honestly truly believe that this movie is the worst movie I have seen in years. I hold a great respect for Indian cinema and I have been in love with Bollywood since before I could even walk my first step.

The thing about this movie is that it is ridiculously illogical in every single aspect, not to mention the lead actors serious problem of over-acting. I loved Kareena in 'Jab we met' and I thought "well this girl finally proved that she can indeed act normally", but this movie changed my mind.

To be fair though, I did laugh at times. Not because the scenes were funny, but because they were sooooo stupid that I just couldn't help myself.

While this is no masterpiece of any kind it does do what it is set out to do. And that is entertain. The problem however is that it entertaining for a certain kind of audience. In it's heart this is a romantic comedy that distances itself from the traditional Bollywood love story. Although it does contain elements from that genre. Basically the love story is more westernized and that apparently is too much for your typical Bollywood fan too handle.Bollywood fans want to see the same thing over and over again. Any change or modernization is felt as a slap in their face. And this is something I just don't understand. Since most of what is happening in this movie is pretty universal especially the conflict between the main characters. I have to admit that some scenes are far too silly and drag the movie a bit. But for the most of it is all good fun. Ignore the critics and you might be surprised how entertaining this movie actually is.

Well, with the media taking its toll on Kambakkht Ishq & Akshay Kumar - the expectations runs low and the movie turns out better than expected. Akshay Kumar must be kicking himself not having exercised caution (read that "choose wisely") when he was just between the cup-and-the-lip. Lightning doesn't strike twice my dear friend.

Anyways, the love-you & loathe you sequences start from the word go and until it reaches finale there is a fair share of story interlaced with emotion, drama, comedy, tragedy etc. Having said that, there was immense potential to improvise - but hey, who am I to say!

¤ Akshay Kumar:: Much before he struck gold I always carried an opinion that give him a nickel and Akshay delivers in dimes. Post success streak that became his style. And now - I am back to my original opinion.

¤ Kareena:: The "Poo" character return (albeit in size zero!).

¤ Javed Jaffery:: Seriously, what was he doing there?

¤ Aftab & Amrita:: Glorified junior-artistes. Reminds me of Rajendranath/ Shobha Khote of 60's.

¤ Vindu:: Good to see after a long hiatus. And trying a hand at comedy, eh?

¤ Boman Irani & Kiron Kher:: Under-utilisation at its best. Seriously - is money everything?

¤ Hollywood star-cast:: Beyond my comprehension as to why they were there in the first place. Too much of money to flaunt around I guess. The plot could have easily been based in India.

¤ Sabir Khan:: Obviously, the master doesn't teach everything to the disciple (ref. Mujhse Shaadi Karogi!)

¤ Nadiadwala:: Time to pull up your socks and ensure quality goods are delivered under your baton.

Finally, the movie is completely inspired (should I abstain from the word plagiarised?) by Pammal K. Sambandam. Had the project been executed legally involving the great thespian to overlook the proceedings - the results would have been far more superior. On that same note, yesterday I read the producers of Namaste London suing the Bengali filmmaker for copyright infringement. Hello Mr. Akshay Kumar... pot calling the kettle black eh?

Gosh, I thought that they had buried movies about the 'battle of the sexes' and 'swashbuckling stunt-men' way back in the 20th Century. And yet, here it is, all exhumed, reanimated and outfitted with Hollywood names the likes of Sly Stallone, Denise Richards and Brandon Routh - and called 'Kambakkht Ishq'. The title is derived from the popular number, 'Kambakkht Ishq' from Ram Gopal Varma's film, 'Pyaar Tune Kya Kiya'.

Directed by Sabbir Khan, 'Kambakkht Ishq' is loud, crude, clichéd, campy and utterly predictable. And if you are curious about the (advertised) roles of its Hollywood supporting stars, let's say that their parts are so cheesy, you can open a pastry shop with them. Imagine a geriatric Stallone reprising his Rambo role and you will know what I mean.

The movie is a remake of the 2002 Tamil film 'Pammal K. Sambandam'. It is about a 'super' Indian stuntman in Hollywood (Akshay Kumar as Viraj Shergill) who meets an Indian supermodel (Kareena Kapoor as Simrita Rai) at his brother's (Aftab Shivdasani as Lucky) wedding in church. Both the leads are unhappy about the marriage of Lucky and Simrita's sister Kamini (Amrita Arora) and the battle lines are drawn at the wedding reception where we see the movie's most dazzlingly choreographed number that ends in a tasteless and farcical brawl.

Yeah, Viraj and Simrita hate each other. In Bollywood terms, it means they are gonna do lots of idiotic things before they finally realise that they love each other right from the get-go.

The first half is more tolerable than the second. Sabbir Khan loads the first hour with action-packed stunt sequences and dance numbers that take us from Hollywood to Italy. Then he has to take such a long time to render the outcome of the 'battle of the sexes' plot which everyone in the audience already knows. And if that is not bad enough, Sabbir Khan also does recaps of his scenes - in case we missed them or forget them! The director also could not resist crude 'American Pie' gags like having the protagonist fart in the face of a bride, having the heroine curse like a sailor; and going over-the-top with an 'anal search' scene. Character development is minimal, and the cast are unimpressive, with the age-old device of having the 'hero' supported by a clownish aide (in the form of Vindu Dara Singh). And whose idea was it to have Viraj undergo open abdomen surgery without anaesthesia? Of the stars, Kareena shines brightest in a badly-written role. She is the most watchable but alas, not quite enough good to stop this "Dumbakkht" from sinking.