Call Girl Confidential

One of Paul Thomas's best films was the thriller "Cry Wolf", which over a decade after release is still prominently displayed on sale at my local Times Square video store. But he couldn't resist shooting a one (or two) day wonder at the same time to fill Vivid's New Releases schedule featuring much of the same cast, and this clunker is the result.

It's very sloppily made, with his inevitable producer/production manager Shylar Cobi taking so many credits you'd think he was in the Trump administration (see: Mick Mulvaney, Jared Kushner). Editing is poor, likely due to not enough coverage, and action stages are as clumsy as any amateur horror video shot in New Jersey.

Monique Alexander plays the prostitute, hardly the call girl of the title as she seems to be a streetwalker. Mr. Marcus is her mean pimp, and both of them give decent performances if hardly up to the level of their turns in "Cry Wolf". However Monique earned the inevitable and inevitably phony industry award nomination for the ridiculous category of "Best Tease". That should have gone to PT for teasing the Vivid customers into thinking they were buying a real Paul Thomas feature film.

To my horror, the terrible actor who almost ruined "Cry Wolf" as miscast leading man is back! PT had him standing around on set, so why not cast Marcos Leon as a priest who went to high school with Monique's character Cherry (aka Magdalena, her real name back when our future priest knew her). Marcos walks through the role, reciting his lines listlessly, and manages to drag down even this lowly project to his non-acting "good only for gonzo" level.

PT wrote the script (ugh!!) and never gives the characters any credibility for what they do. Leon takes Monique's overdue confession at a cafe (not a church -locations are pretty much left over from "Cry Wolf" for this one) and after stalking off, disgusted at her unrepentant life choice, decides to stalk her instead and they suddenly make love without proper set-up or believability.

The cornball tale has Monique getting in trouble with her pimp Marcus, leading to an embarrassing staging where he humps her in an interracial threesome involving another girl on his string, Amber Peach, and then with Leon hog-tied has another confrontation with Monique in which even though Marcus is holding a gun on her, she orders him to leave and Amber & Mr. Dutifully hightail it out of there.

Instead of releasing Leon from bondage she tickles his feet, whereupon director PT as deus ex machina climbs up the stairs on cue and calmly says to Leon: "I believe you're wanted in the Rectory". That's the sort of idiotic movie this is.

Finale has our mismatched couple catching a bus to Arizona and a new life together, but not before Monique buys two floppy hats for $20 from a couple of passers-by played by PT and Shylar Cobi, giving both of them dual roles in this farrago. For shame.

Just to annoy me, two personal faves: Devon Lee and star of years previous Friday lend their huge tits to the proceeding as threesome victims of client James Deen. Who says prostitution isn't glamorous? (Although getting stuck with James Deen means having to work hard for your money, as Summer used to sing to us.)