A Casa ao Lado

... is twofold. Firstly, it totally destroys, with a plodding, boring and mucousy script, a fine novel that Stephen King had singled out as one of the best horror stories of the last century in his essay "Danse Macabre" (1981).

The second jolt comes from seeing Lara Flynn Boyle's lips slowly disintegrate all through the movie from the sheer weight of the collagen they are stuffed with. Her mouth gradually descends in her face in a very ominous and asymmetrical fashion, unsupported by facial muscles that are already rendered weak and useless from too many Botox injections. The end result is an inverted wedge of a mouth incapable of smiling or any other recognizable human expression. Those are the only things that qualify this mess as truly scary, if you don't count the sheer ugliness, vulgarity and faux-modern ordinariness of the house itself.

THE HOUSE NEXT DOOR is one dull TV movie. It's a simple story about a suburban housewife who lives next door to what might be the ultimate haunted house. A series of her neighbours living in this evil abode are subject to all manner of ill fortune and even death, and it's all something to do with the sinister architect who built it.

Apparently this film was based on a novel so I can only imagine how horrendous that is. The main problem here is that the focus of the story isn't on the main characters at all but on the supporting characters who live next door. Thus the attempts at drama and human conflict are subdued. There's no real sense of resolution here, not even a real beginning, middle, or end, just continued nonsense.

Frozen-faced Lara Flynn Boyle was a vibrant and even volatile screen presence in the 1990s so it's sad to see her hidden behind copious plastic surgery and reduced to starring in this kind of insipid TV movie fare that I thought they'd stopped making in the 1990s.

From all the great comments I've read about the book (and now I want to buy the book), you'd think they would have made the movie creepier and more suspenseful. It was too tame in the shock department. I'm not saying it needed to be gory -just more suspenseful, creepy and sinister like a Stephen King movie! The architect character was really the only thing that creeped me out(just a little). Also the house should have been creepier looking. I enjoyed some of the actors' performances, especially the little girl. Some of the characters weren't too fazed about what was going on in the house and just blew it off. I'd be freaked if my neighbors were dying off one by one in the same house. All in all, it was an enjoyable two hours viewing time; I might even get the DVD if it comes out.

The cast is OK. The script is awkward at times, and it takes a while to figure out what the point of the movie is. I found myself looking forward to doing the dishes. The Shehan bit is a cheesy statement on the war. I guess we were supposed to not notice it...we did. Its a house, you did nothing more than kill forty five minutes. The shower part...huh? What was that about? Literally, it is I have a client, "Ok you can use our shower." Yawn. The angles are trying way to hard. There was a set of woods, suddenly its gone cause you can see right through, then next it is deep and animals are dying. In the end this is a horrendous movie of boring proportions.

OK! Simple fact is that compared to the novel this Lifetime Television movie pales in comparison. Anne Rivers Siddons' novel is worthy of the praise it has received over the years. Directed by Jeff Woolnough, it's a film that is routine but effective both in atmosphere and story telling.

Lara Flynn Boyle and Colin Ferguson play the contented couple whose idyllic suburban life is tipped upside down when a modern house is built on the land next to their home. Embracing the community spirit of new neighbours at first, the couple soon come to realise that whoever lives in the house - or even those who visit it - are beset by tragedy or uncontrollable urges.

Each segment with the various "house" owners vary in quality, but always there's a smart thematic link pulsing away in the narrative. It's never scary as such, unless you count Boyle's cosmetic surgery (silly girl, she was a natural and sexy beauty), and the house itself is a monstrously modern ode to yuppiedom, which to some (ok, me) kind of negates the horror factor, yet this is worth a look on a time waster basis. But please do seek out the book if you haven't already. 6/10