Illegal Aliens

Anna Nicole Smith was never going to a big star in perhaps the way we few stars of a certain stature.

What she had going for her was there for all to see, and to be honest who actually thought that she had any worthwhile acting talent? Of course when it comes to her final movie, namely 'Illegal Aliens' I suddenly had a change of heart.

I first saw the trailer on the same disc as that most often talked about debacle 'Transmorphers' and while I don't want to veer to far from my train of thought, 'Transmorphers' was indeed a very unsatisfying way to spend my ninety plus minutes in front the tube.

If I were to be honest, I couldn't stop watching the trailer for Anna Nicole's movie.

Now although she headlined the movie, star power was in abundance to back her up, when I say star power, we really should realise that this is a straight to DVD B movie.

That being said, with the presence of Chyna aka Joanie Lauer and in a very brief cameo as a mob boss John James, the film was never going to lack in the acting stakes.

Perhaps mentioning acting and Chyna in the same breath really should be taken too seriously but she really did steal the vast majority of the movie as the tough talking allbeit possessed by something not of our world tough and deadly femme.

I guess like most movies though, the best bits were to be found within the trailer, isn't that always the way, but as mentioned in my summary, funny in parts, and this is all down to the participation of Anna Nicole, who it must be said, although ditching her glamorous look, really did look rather attractive in her ditzy fashion outfits, as well as and this is of major importance, the sever overacting of Chyna.

But when it comes to a cohesive storyline structure, the narrative was all over the place, but hey, with a storyline as outrageous as this, perhaps this was the best way to approach it.

If I was asked what I could compare this movie to? when watching it, having watched many a B movie down through the decades, the two that came to mind where 'Assault Of The Killer Bimbos' & 'Earth Girls Are Easy' of course within the movie the most obvious reference belongs to 'Charlie's Angels'.

Edgewood Studios might not be The Asylum, but at least they can deliver a more entertaining film complete with a humorous script, some decent acting for a movie of this nature and of course the main course ingredient, pretty girls to look at, and that does include the late Anna Nicole Smith.

My rating is 6/10 and that

Illegal Aliens (2007)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Three aliens come to Earth and take the form of hot women so that they can battle evil aliens that are already here and planning on some destruction. ILLEGAL ALIENS is a mostly forgettable picture that managed to pick up some "fame" when its star Anna Nicole Smith died before its release. The film is pretty much a throwback to those cheap "B" straight-to-video releases of the 1990s, something that Smith was quite familiar with. Overall this here is basically just a mix of CHARLIE'S ANGELS and MEN IN BLACK with a few winks to other films including THE TERMINATOR. Was the film awful? Well, yes, but I think that was somewhat the point as the film certainly isn't meaning for anyone to take it too serious. This is obvious just by the extremely cheap special effects and just take a look at the flying pigs early on. After seeing the pigs flying through space, if you're still expecting something serious then you need to check yourself. With that said, the biggest problem with this movie is the same problem as so many other low-budget pictures and that's the fact that it just keeps dragging on for no good reason. Remember the good old days when a "B" movie could be bad yet fun? Remember they ran just over a hour? Well, this bad "B" movie clocks in at 96-minutes, which is about thirty minutes too long. I can't help but think this thing would have been so much more entertaining had the scissors just been taken to it. As for the cast, for the most part everyone is exactly what you'd expect from a film like this. Smith, in her last film role, is pretty forgettable as she really doesn't add anything to the picture, which is somewhat strange considering how she usually had no problems drawing attention to herself.

The directors next movie he made after this was Craptastic. No really, that was the title of the film. I think that says everything you need to know about this absolute howler of a movie.

There are many problems with this film but I will start with the two lead actors. China and Anna Nicole Smith in her last role. Neither can act worth a lick. And both are now dead from drug and drink overdoses. Something that one can well believe by watching Illegal Aliens.

I can't find anything good to say about it. Well maybe it doesn't take itself too seriously is about the only thing I can think.

Best avoided.

This guys are geniuses. I mean, aliens flying as pigs through outer space and landing and becoming babes? That is so incredibly smart and funny. Plus, get this. Ana Nicole Smith is playing... you're never going to guess this... are you ready?... a stupid blond bimbo. Can you imagine? Her playing a stupid blond bimbo? That's genius. Where do they come up with this stuff? They must have, like, talent or something, and genius, yeah, genius, and, like, they must be really, really funny people to make this kind of movies.

Anyway, I did give this movie a 2, not a 1, 'cause at one point I almost laughed, when this guy finds JC.

Bottom line, if you want to see Anna Nicole Smith, find some old number of Playboy or something, and if you want to see a comedy, see Hot Fuzz, 'cause that's really funny. But I, for one, can't imagine any possible reason for recommending this movie to anybody.

Unfortunately Illegal Aliens(2007)does not work at all.Since the cast has not a director,who is able to take seriously the directing,perhaps he was not the only person who is responsible for this irritatingly bad movie.(by far)Lot of people feels like the producers are also had the problem:how to make move,and speak people those real talent was lost when they become enough rich to feel like they are in safe.The script is also flat just like dialogs,but we know this was direct,this is why I have to say this movie will not satisfy people with good,or normal taste,but I have to tell you,as a big thrash fans like me,also this time not recommend this movie.