Illegal Aliens

The directors next movie he made after this was Craptastic. No really, that was the title of the film. I think that says everything you need to know about this absolute howler of a movie.

There are many problems with this film but I will start with the two lead actors. China and Anna Nicole Smith in her last role. Neither can act worth a lick. And both are now dead from drug and drink overdoses. Something that one can well believe by watching Illegal Aliens.

I can't find anything good to say about it. Well maybe it doesn't take itself too seriously is about the only thing I can think.

Best avoided.

Illegal Aliens (2007)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Three aliens come to Earth and take the form of hot women so that they can battle evil aliens that are already here and planning on some destruction. ILLEGAL ALIENS is a mostly forgettable picture that managed to pick up some "fame" when its star Anna Nicole Smith died before its release. The film is pretty much a throwback to those cheap "B" straight-to-video releases of the 1990s, something that Smith was quite familiar with. Overall this here is basically just a mix of CHARLIE'S ANGELS and MEN IN BLACK with a few winks to other films including THE TERMINATOR. Was the film awful? Well, yes, but I think that was somewhat the point as the film certainly isn't meaning for anyone to take it too serious. This is obvious just by the extremely cheap special effects and just take a look at the flying pigs early on. After seeing the pigs flying through space, if you're still expecting something serious then you need to check yourself. With that said, the biggest problem with this movie is the same problem as so many other low-budget pictures and that's the fact that it just keeps dragging on for no good reason. Remember the good old days when a "B" movie could be bad yet fun? Remember they ran just over a hour? Well, this bad "B" movie clocks in at 96-minutes, which is about thirty minutes too long. I can't help but think this thing would have been so much more entertaining had the scissors just been taken to it. As for the cast, for the most part everyone is exactly what you'd expect from a film like this. Smith, in her last film role, is pretty forgettable as she really doesn't add anything to the picture, which is somewhat strange considering how she usually had no problems drawing attention to herself.

This movie was hilarious. It was so bad and campy that it was funny, if you go into expecting a serious comedy you're wrong. You can see them making fun of themselves throughout the movie. Sometimes you just need to watch a movie in which you have to do no thinking, this is that movie. Go in with the right attitude, give it a chance and pay attention to the little things. You know they meant the movie to be this way. Totally B-movie, 70's campyness. Anna Nicole Smith was a comedic actress for sure. I liked this movie, not enough to buy but enough that it kept me laughing for sure. Watch all the features, especially the outtakes and deleted scenes. Just my opinion.

This guys are geniuses. I mean, aliens flying as pigs through outer space and landing and becoming babes? That is so incredibly smart and funny. Plus, get this. Ana Nicole Smith is playing... you're never going to guess this... are you ready?... a stupid blond bimbo. Can you imagine? Her playing a stupid blond bimbo? That's genius. Where do they come up with this stuff? They must have, like, talent or something, and genius, yeah, genius, and, like, they must be really, really funny people to make this kind of movies.

Anyway, I did give this movie a 2, not a 1, 'cause at one point I almost laughed, when this guy finds JC.

Bottom line, if you want to see Anna Nicole Smith, find some old number of Playboy or something, and if you want to see a comedy, see Hot Fuzz, 'cause that's really funny. But I, for one, can't imagine any possible reason for recommending this movie to anybody.

So, I rented this shortly after the passing of Anna Nicole Smith, who I admit, I love. Loved her show, loved watching her be crazy, loved how beautiful she was. So many people had told me how funny this movie was. It got decent reviews on here, and even the guy standing next to e in line at the video store told me it was one of the funniest movies he had ever seen. Okay. I thought this might be a great way to pass a Thursday night at home with a bowl of popcorn. Wrong. I just din't get it? Why is this funny? I LIKE stupid-funny movies, but this one was lost on me. Yes, I realize it starred Anna Nicole Smith and Chyna, but I heard that it was originally intended as a vehicle for Helen Mirren and Dame Judi Dench.