Hood of Horror

Now first things first, I love Snoop as a Rap artist but mostly his album "Doggystyle" is the quintessential rap album. Now this movie is terrible in so many ways. The acting is some of the worst I have ever seen. The directing was worse than a soap opera, and the stories are pointless and boring. I can see why this went Direct-to-DVD, because it is that bad. This reminds me of a poor mans "Tales from the Hood." There is nothing even mildly entertaining about this garbage either! I don't know why Snoop continues to try and act and produce movies that couldn't be shown on the Sci-Fi channel at Midnight! How this got made is beyond me. Please whatever you do, don't waste your time on this absolute garbage. I would recommend you try watching the above mentioned "Tales from the Hood" which is ten times more entertaining than this, and even that isn't that great, but it makes that look like a masterpiece.

Let me tell you straight up that if you have issues with rather low-budget anthology-movies or simply can't stand Snoop Dogg, you just better stay away from HOOD OF HORROR. I personally think Snoop's always good for a laugh or two. So, I'm rating this flick solely on fun-factor, because it's pretty much light-years away from being a stellar horror-movie.

The first segment has a good-looking ghetto-gal being granted super-powers by evil voodoo-man Danny Trejo to take on her whole graffiti-spraying neighborhood. The second one has a yuppie-couple move in with some Vietnam-vets. The greedy couple has a hidden agenda of their own, and naturally the two love-birds don't get along very well with the Vietnam-vets. Third and final segment shows us that the price of fame always catches up with you, no matter how big a rap-star you are. And when you've attained wealth and stardom in a rather dubious manner, you're in for some real 'shiiiit'.

All stories have some very nasty and entertaining blood 'n' gore effects. Especially the climax of the second segment is pretty hilarious. The scene (first segment) that proofs sipping on gin & juice can cause a nasty splitting head-ache is a total hoot! Da Doggster himself is indeed worth a laugh or two (just watch out for the scene were he says "Doggy want a bone?" and then "boom!" goes the gun), but he didn't seem to have had a lot of directing guidelines. I suppose he must have thought his coolness was all it would take to play the part. His Cribkeeper character (or whatever it's called in the movie) has a nice back-ground story, told to us by a slick-looking anime-style animated wrap-around story. In addition, at the end of the movie, we get some sort of video-clip (featuring some of the cast members - including a devil-midget) of a Snoop Dogg song (apparantly especially written for the soundtrack for HOOD OF HORROR). He's just rapping it up on some fiery ghetto-set with a lot of demon-babes shaking their T&A. Pretty dumb song too, by the way, that seems to have been written and recorded in just one hour. The video-clip itself is of the same "cinematographic" quality as the rest of the movie (which means: tolerable and watchable).

Final judgement: No flunk from Da Vomitron, because this flick follows the rules of an anthology movie nicely (three segments with a nice twist at the end, which you may or may not see coming and a fun wrap-around story). The rather low-budget didn't make 'em skimp on the decent gore-effects. The don't-take-it-all-serious vibe and Da Doggster's witty nonsense made it all a bit more enjoyable too.

Now if you want to see a really good "horror in the hood" anthology movie, I full-heartedly recommend TALES FROM THE HOOD. At least Snoop Dogg's HOOD OF HORROR is a lot better than insufferable crap-fests like CUTTHROAT ALLEY and DA HIP HOP WITCH (dare I even watch HOOD OF THE LIVING DEAD? Anyone?), but it still remains just an entertaining nonsensical time-waster. A fun quickie, if you please.

Hood of Horror is a gangsta horror anthology (gangthology?) comprising of three ghetto-flavoured tales, loosely tied together by an animated wraparound story. Whilst the stylish cartoon section is confusing and ultimately forgettable stuff, the bulk of the film is far more successful, being well written (much of it by 2001 Maniac's Tim Sullivan), very gory (albeit in a strictly tongue in cheek style), and confidently directed by Stacy Title.

Hip-hop legend Snoop Dogg 'MC's the whole shebizzle (as he might say), introducing each story in his inimitable OG style, and what fun they are: first up is 'Crossed Out', which sees graffiti artist Posie (Daniella Alonso) being given the power to kill her enemies simply by crossing out their 'tags'; tale number two is 'The Scumlord', which stars Anson Mount as a racist, sexist Texan loudmouth who is set to inherit a tenement in the ghetto, but on one condition—that he spends a year in the building with the current occupants, his father's army buddies, the all black Fighting 88; the last story is 'Rapsody Askew' which follows ambitious rap artist Sod (Pooch Hall) as he does whatever it takes to achieve fame and fortune.

A lot of people seem to dislike this film, calling it cheap and amateurish, but I had a great time with it even though I'm not a massive fan of the hip-hop scene: there are several familiar faces in the cast (Danny Trejo, Ernie Hudson and Lin Shaye) who lend proceedings a certain air of class. the splatter is very enthusiastic, the women are bootylicious, and I'm almost certain that the tunes are phat.

This film contains three interwoven tales from the hood, with Snoop Dogg (sometimes as an animated gangster and sometimes as a man in hell) narrating between segments. I use interwoven in the loosest sense because they really seem to have connection at all. I will discuss each one briefly.

The first segment was about a woman named Posey who is granted satanic powers by a homeless man (Danny Trejo) and can kill rival gang members by simply crossing out their spray tags. It's really stupid. The plot is weak, Posey's acting is awful. Even Trejo and Billy Dee Williams cannot save this one. There is a great death scene involving a beer bottle, but that doesn't make up for the rest of this segment.

The second segment was actually really good. A redneck and his girlfriend move into a home for retired veterans, with one of them, Roscoe, being played by Ernie Hudson. Hudson is great, as is the rich redneck. The deaths here are weaker (other than the explosion scene) but the plot is much better -- this was written as a real story and not just a throw-away idea. In fact, it could have been its own movie or at least an episode of "Masters of Horror". If you only watch this part, you might find the movie watchable.

The third part was just foolish. Because these are tales from the hood, of course they took the stereotype route and one man escapes the hood by rapping. But he becomes haunted by his friends that he left behind to die. Some of the makeup here is pretty disgusting, which I mean in a nice way, but the overall story is just an excuse to show a guy in the studio rapping. If you already have Snoop Dogg in your cast list ,you don't need to add another man rapping.

I suppose the problem of the film as a whole is that it was written and directed by different people in different segments. Compare this to "Creepshow", which is a lot more consistent. The best part -- part two -- was written by Tim Sullivan, the man behind "2001 Maniacs". It shows. I may not have been the biggest fan of that film, but Sullivan knows how to tell a story that horror fans appreciate (and he has some weird obsession with Confederate sympathizers). The other writers? I have no idea who they are.

Other reviewers have called this film the "Hood of Horrible", and I want to jump on that bandwagon. It wasn't well made, it was poorly written for the most part, and although even some of the worst films can still be enjoyable, this one just wasn't. The odds of me seeing this a second time are pretty slim. If you get the chance to see it the first time, pass up on it and watch James Franco's "The Ape" instead.

Almost all the jokes can be seen as problematic these days. The "gore" was comical at best but annoying at worst... which was most of the time. The soundtrack was almost exclusively Snoop. The special effects look like something out of Birdemic. But hey, it's a Snoop horror movie. No durr it's gonna be this self-awareness circlejerk.