Asterix nos Jogos Olímpicos

Rarely I do feel so outraged, but this piece of mindless images-in-motion is positively a sacrilege. NOTHING remains of the bright and snappy Humor of Gosciny and Uderzo. The ONLY puns worth a half-smile are the meta-movie ones: Alain Delon mentioning guepards, samurais, Rocco's brothers and the Sicilians' clan, or Schumacher running in the race with a Ferrari battle-car - but even these are obsolete, old-fashioned and excessive. Further, the humor is admirable, sublime we can say, but totally amiss. ALL the gags are forced, painfully slow, grotesquely overdone. The script is an absolute mess - no convincing story-line, no dramatic structure, no sense of rhythm (all these being capital errors when doing a comedy; even more so, for such a difficult and ambitious comedy as Astérix: absurd, fantastic, cunningly warping history, childish in an intelligent way). All in all, as other comments rightly stated, this film-lenght is the worst of all three: definitely slow, much too long, outright boring and worse than amateurish - it's DILETTANTE! If you loved Astérix, avoid it - it will incense you. If you don't know the Gaul hero, avoid it harder - it will unfairly compromise him forever in your eyes. The ONLY Astérix remains the one in the toons and comic books.

This is my first encounter with M. Depardieu as Obelix. I wasn't expecting much: French cinema has a habit on making poor nepotistic films on a regular basis (i.e. members of the typical film family keep scratching each other's back in circles...)

Asterix is both a French institution that has always been written to be understood at several levels by different age groups. The film is good in the sense that it doesn't try to replicate the book, it expands on it but still tries to capture this multi=layered humour. It's not always subtle but it works. A few examples:

• Alain Delon makes an impressive comeback while sending himself up and referencing the films that made his past glory

• Depardieu re-enacts scenes from his marvellous Cyrano, using virtually the same shots and lighting almost 20 years on

• The modernised Ben Hur chariot race is absolutely right for today's audience and manages to capture the spirit of the book while being much more sophisticated.

• The multiple cameos are very funny, especially if you can pick up some of the French dialogues. Others will simply be impressed by who appears on screen...

I also found that the special effects were used to carry humour and a cartoon-like spirit as opposed to being grandiose.

In summary 'The Third Man it ain't, but as thoroughly entertaining family film for all ages, it just works.

Of course I was expecting celebrity cameos, but I hopped the movie won't stand only on this. Unfortunately it does it.

At each minute a celebrity face arrives, (french and European celebrities of course) makes a reference and gets out. What about ASTERIX himself ? Well, he's also making a "cameo" since he is not the main character of this movie. And the worst stands at the end of the movie (when the story is finished) when a bunch of sport's stars arrived to show themselves without having nothing to do in the spot line. Sort of "we didn't have time to put you in the story, but you will appear at the end, to increase our credits"...

The good points : The special effects and the set decoration are really great. We understand this picture costs the price of a "STARWARS". Too bad to have spent so much for a tiny joke...

"THE MOST EXPENSIVE FRENCH MOVIE OF ALL TIME !".

What a pride ! :)

The first one looked good but just could not get the humor right. The second one was quite good; close to the sense of humor of Gosciny (and Uderzo as well). So I was hoping for something good. Now the third one is kind of terrible. The visuals are okay (yes you see the CGI but it's not a problem in a funny movie based on comics) but almost everything else... The humor is worse than in the first one, the movie is just too long, the cameo-filled last ten minutes seem to be shot only for the end credits (they just don't make sense in the movie) but somebody must have thought they are funny enough for the movie - they are not. There are strange parts meant to be funny (e.g. the laser sword you could see in the advertisements - if they had to include a star wars joke again then why not make it at least a bit funny?), even the time between intended (forced and overplayed) gags is too long. Alain Delon is moderately funny as Caesar but his part is also overplayed, overly long. The new actor playing Asterix is a, as high as Obelix... b, never as funny/witty-looking as Christian Clavier. So what could go wrong did go wrong with this movie; maybe children will enjoy it but probably it will be too long for them as well.

I was really looking forwards to this: Whereas "Asterix & Cesar" wasn't great, they seemed to have found their stride with "Asterix et Cleopater" only to inexplicably throw it all away with this heap of rubbish. Where shall I start: The cast.

Clovis Cornillac - catastrophic. There isn't a hint of the quick wittedness and light footedness you expect of Asterix. Instead of being the mainstay of the film, he's a sideshow: Unfunny, uncharismatic. Bring back Clavier!

Alain Delon? I nearly wept! He's an all time legend. Cool, hard, dangerous. And here? A creepy buffoon. His worst role. Ever.

That's enough. Now the plot: In Asterix & Cleopatre, the writers (and director) managed to update the Goscinny original comic spirit and clever references very successfully in my opinion. That is, without sacrificing the flow of the narrative, and without over-emphasizing modern references. That is, they didn't get in the way nor did they hobble the Goscinny narrative.

These clowns seem to have completely missed the plot. The unsubtle references stick out like a sore thumb, and the things referred to will all be forgotten in a few years.

But more fatally for the plot: they've glued together episodes from different Asterix books with elaborate pastiches to try and re-establish some sort of story logic.

Then, they have seriously warped the actual olympic games narrative flow. The plot they've come up with leaves you constantly thinking "What? How ... why is this happening now? Where is such-and-such gone?" and most importantly "hmm, was that joke supposed to be ... funny?".

All in all, truly catastrophic. The only saving grace is - I supposed toddlers might find it exciting.