Witches of the Caribbean

I normally enjoy a movie in this genre, even if the quality lacks a little (like it usually does). But as B-movies come and go, you need to further down the alphabet to classify this one.

The script, choreography, acting look like they've been directed by a teenager, one without a lot of talent. Where to start... silly scene transitions, people walking into the viewer and out of it after they delivered their lines which makes it look like a kindergarten stage play, lame special fx and flashbacks/reminders that are disturbing if you consider the level of intelligence they must have been aimed at. But it's not quite bad enough to be funny either.

The term 'spoilers' does not apply for this movie: you should avoid it like the plague.

Some troubled youths stay on a Caribbean island with a counselor, and they all have dreams about a witch who had been burnt to death there years earlier. One of them is a witch, though for some reason people insist on saying that she "says" she's a witch or "believes" she's a witch, which is silly.

There's little to recommend this at all. It's terribly dull. Endless conversations that serve no purpose. Scenes in which there's a montage of scenes which came earlier, which serve no purpose in being repeated except to pad out the running time. The guys take their shirts off more than once. The ladies don't. A bad movie like this needs gratuitous nudity; that doesn't make the movie better particularly, it just makes it a bad movie with nudity, which is generally preferable to a bad movie without it.

There are some apparent deaths in which hearts are grabbed out of the chest. Somehow, this creates huge spurts of blood that go all over the face of the now heartless person. Somehow, these people are able to scream well after their hearts are ripped out. I suppose that's the power of witchcraft.

Some of the powers of witchcraft, incidentally, are depicted by the use of green light. Very cheesy. It either shoots out of objects hitting people, or makes eyes glow or whatnot.

Supposedly this was shot on the Turks and Caicos Islands, a UK territory that had been part of their Jamaican colony. However, the locations are wasted so much they might as well have shot it on the California coast and pretended it was the Caribbean.

(2004) Witches Of The Caribbean HORROR

Straight-to-rental cheap horror flick which is basically a very poor carbon copy of the much bigger budgeted of "The Craft" including the main character, who appears to be a look-a-like of Neve Campbell! Movie centers on a group of teenagers sent to the Caribbean because they all have similar dreams of a past life incident involving witch burning and cults and the psychologist whose making attempts to overcome it! It is neither scary nor is it original with some of the worst special effects and acting imaginable! One can get get better entertainment from TV. 1/2 star.

Every now and then, I see a film advertised in the TV guide that I'll see for no other reason than the title sounds interesting. Believe it or not, I thought that 'Witches of the Caribbean' sounded interesting. I'm a fan of witch related films, as they often make for good horror and the Caribbean setting was leading me to believe that this might offer something in the way of originality. Any hopes I had for the movie were quickly dashed, however, when I found out that the film was directed by David DeCoteau; a man that has made a whole host of straight-to-video rubbish, including the awesomely bad 'Wolves of Wall Street'. Really, though, all I wanted from this film was some decent magic done by some hot Goth girls in a nice setting. It's safe to say, however, that I didn't even get that. What I did get is a severely under imaginative movie with a cast that is about as impressive as the film's setting - which looks more like a UK holiday resort on a bad day than the Caribbean.

The plot stinks of "cant be bothered" and follows the dull and overly familiar idea of a witch being burnt at the stake, only to be reincarnated centuries later. Not that there's a big problem with this sort of plot; several films, such as Mario Bava's Black Sunday and Roger Corman's The Haunted Palace have took that theme and made it work; but both of those movies had something about them, whereas this one clearly does not. The cast of actors doesn't help the film in it's bid to be successful, as none of them stand out enough to make any kind of lasting impression. The only impression made on any level is just that the actors are irritating; the lead witch, Nicole Marie Monica, being the foremost irritating member of the cast. The special effects are just as bad as the rest of the film, and once again feel like whoever was in charge had something more important on their mind. The awful ending tops off what is a bad movie on the whole and I can tell that if you ever see this film in your TV guide and think it might be worth a watch...think again.

Total utter CRAP! If this was only a porno, it might have been a little interesting to watch. First of all a movie with a title like this should deliver, which it does not. It's hard to feel slightly passionate about this project, for calling it a movie would be an overstatement. This is too stupid and dumb, how is it possible to make something this bad!?!

The acting is flat and not very convincing. Combine this with a story so terrible, that it must have been written by someone on some kind of wonder drug, with awful directing, you get this lovely soup of rubbish and crap. After 40 minutes of watching the movie, oh the horror, I found out that there were 40 minutes left, when will this end? And what is up with the misplaced dance music and totally unnecessary flashback montage? I'm having a really hard time understanding this movie. I'll sue, cause this is America, and in America, if something sucks, you're supposed to be able to get your money back!

why oh why