Death Bed: The Bed That Eats

It's really rather Simple. The Name of the Movie Is Death Bed, The Bed that Eats. If you are anything like me, You already know if you are going to like this movie. I stumbled across this gem at Best Buy the other day and picked it up for Ten Bucks. I got ten bucks worth of enjoyment out of the title, and the box alone.

I'm a huge fan of B movies. This is in my opinion one of the greatest B movies i've ever seen. Now, it's not for every one.

Granted, it's not even for most people. As a matter of fact, i suspect their are only going to be a handful of us who truly enjoy this movie.

For those of you who like B movies though, this film is a Diamond in the rough. It has a great premise, A bed... That eat's people. It doesn't walk, it doesn't move, it doesn't have a siren call to attract people. It pretty much relies on people wandering by and sitting on it.

I loved every inch of this movie and have already seen it three times in the scant weeks i've owned it.

Like I said, After reading the title of the film, You already know if you'll like it. If you laughed or smiled, Then give it a go. it's worth it.

I'm not sure what I can add that hasn't already been said in some of these other fine, and quite hilarious, comments, but Ill try.

So you know the plot: there is a bed possessed by a demon that "absorbs" and selectively disintegrates the bodies of whoever (or whatever) lays on it with its orange soda-filled body. We have the man, in some scenes looking uncannily like Robert Smith of The Cure, hanging out inside the wall commenting on the goings-on, and we have our various victims that just cant resist the comfort of this mystical bed.

This is no ordinary bed. No sirree Bob! Not only does it eat people, but it cleans up after itself, draws the covers back, and it even makes itself. Who wouldn't want a bed like that? It can even use its sheets as a rudimentary "lasso" to wrangle escaped victims back in (especially if they're taking up half the length of the film to try and escape).

Our "main" story (if you can call it that), is about these three girls who go out to this remote area to house-sit(??). I don't recall exactly, but it doesn't really matter though as there are plenty of things that defy convention that you just have to give in and accept. The dialogue in the film is like no other; the characters talk to each other seemingly by telepathy as their mouths never seem to move and there is a constant echo. One of our girls believes she isn't liked by the rest of "the gang" and makes sure to tell us all her feelings on this matter through an echoey voice-over, but we don't care; character development was thrown out the window a LONG time before in this film so why start now? There are scenes when the bed laughs, snores, crunches, and makes various other noises that we assume judging by our cast's non-reaction to said noises, cant be heard. This and the telepathy makes the issue of diegesis very difficult to ascertain...but thats OK....this is Death Bed: The Bed That Eats and it defies all logic so its OK. It makes for a lush dreamy quality to this most bizarre film If you buy (hehe buy...did I say "buy"?) this DVD, make sure to check out the introduction by the director. He explains that the filming of this "flick" started in 1972, didn't wrap up until 1977, he shopped it for a few years with no luck, and then fast forward 26 years to 2003 it gets released on DVD. Supposedly someone somewhere had a print of this in some other country and made bootleg after bootleg of it and it was quite by chance, on a message board no less, that our director found evidence that people knew, and gasp! cared, about his little-known film. Its from there that he decided to give it a shot and release it. I'm glad he did. Once you've even so much as heard the title to this film, you MUST see it. I for one am going to buy this and I'm going to preach its gospel around the world...starting with this comment

This is a very odd movie. From what I gather, a demon becomes infatuated with a woman and somehow magically conjures up a bed for him to satisfy his carnal desires with her. But the woman dies and that causes some blood to fall upon the bed and suddenly come to life--with a desire to devour any human who sleeps upon it. I guess it's what beds that are conjured by demons do. Anyway, in order to eat a person the bed secrets some type of yellow fluid (which I suppose is an acid of some sort) and essentially engulfs the person. However, there are a couple of people who apparently intrigue the bed so much that it behaves very differently toward them. For starters, there is an artist who painted a portrait of it and because of that he has been trapped behind the painting overlooking the bed. His comments are then given freely during the movie to clue the viewer in to what is going on. Trust me, they are definitely needed. Likewise, there is a woman who has eyes that resemble the woman the demon lusted after and as a result the bed is initially scared of her and bleeds inside whenever she is around. At least initially. Now, if the plot wasn't weird enough, the characters are pretty dumb too as they don't seem to say-or think-very much. They basically see a bed in the middle of nowhere and want to sleep on it. Naturally, they get eaten and in some cases flowers grow on the ground outside of the building where the bed is located. I'm not sure why but perhaps it has something to do with Newtonian physics. Or maybe not. In any case, like I said earlier, this is a weird movie and because of that I recommend it only for those who either like bad films for some odd reason or have plenty of beer (or other type of alcoholic beverages) on hand. Failing either of these conditions you might want to skip this particular film all together. Below average.

I first heard of this film courtesy of comedian Patton Oswalt who mentions it in one of his hilarious comedy albums. First off let me say that I consider myself a bad movie connoisseur having sat through my fair share and being a huge fan of things like Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Cinematic Titanic that showcase and make fun of bad movies...

So I ordered Death Bed on Netflix. I have to say the movie is almost exactly like I suspected it would be. I had a hunch, this being a 70s movie, that there would be some nudity and indeed most of the women in the film are naked at one time or another. The movie is slow, tedious and weird but it delivers EXACTLY what the title says, a bed that eats.

The bed does eat. It eats a wide array of things, not just people. This is the sort of "SO BAD IT'S GOOD" cult classic that comes around once in a lifetime. Much like the equally so bad its awesome Manos: The Hands of Fate except this one makes a little more sense and does deliver some decent gore...

All in all I can't say that I'm disappointed, though the movie was by no means good... I'm having trouble rating it out of 10, it's just too darn weird to give a numeric rating to. I recommend it to anyone who wants to see a 100% unique movie. They don't make em like this anymore... in fact they NEVER did.

The premise- a demon falls in love with a maiden and assumes human form in order to make love to her. She dies as a result of this preternatural union, and the mournful demon cries tears of blood upon their carnal bed. The blood is absorbed, bestowing the bed with a predatory animate existence. Nestled within a ramshackle guesthouse, it lies in wait through the ages...a bloodthirsty canopy bed which consumes anyone unfortunate enough to rest upon it. A strange concept for a horror film, indeed, but the presentation is far, far stranger...

This no-budget oddity was composed with a very peculiar artistic finesse...not so much pretentious as self-consciously esoteric, it merges trash cinema sleaze with flourishes of oneiric surrealism(it's largely narrated by the spirit of 19th-century nouveau illustrator Aubrey Beardsley, helplessly imprisoned within a painting on a wall opposite the killer bed). This eccentric admixture doesn't really gel perfectly, but that is certainly not to imply that DEATH BED is a bad film, just that it's very bizarre and obvious of its restrictive budget...I personally consider it one of the most original and inventive amateur horror projects I have ever seen.

Opinions about this one will be all over the board, but there's no denying that DEATH BED is unique. I recommend it strongly to all fans of outré cinema. 7/10.