Flesh for the Beast

Excuse me, but I had to puke just remembering this film (if you can call it that).

Okay, who lets these people buy cameras and sneak their crap into the movie system? I started checking who makes the movies before I rent them, but this one slipped through,and believe me, the company is added to my "don't rent" list...right up there with Fangoria.

Don't get me wrong, I allow a lot of gray area for lower budget movies, because I am a die hard Horror fan, but I still believe if you spend money, you should at least be entertained, even if it is poorly.

This, on the other hand was one of those movies that don't do anything. I think at one point, I forgot to take it off of pause when I came back from wandering around outside out of boredom and it was in screen saver mode. It took me a few minutes of thinking the action was getting better to realize that it was the name of the DVD player floating around the screen, and I put it into "play" mode, missing the screen saver already.

Hands down, this is a movie that shouldn't have ended up in the rental place. If folks want these, get them from Rhino, don't torture us normal people by sneaking them into the actual movies by making a cool cover, distracting us with boobs and neat monster art, fooling us int renting them.

FLESH FOR THE BEAST has a great name, I'll give it that. But it's a bad, bad, bad movie. Even for fans of the genre, who considers films like these as guilty pleasures, there's just no getting around the fact that BEAST is a bad movie, through and through. Worst of all, the director was responsible for a sea of cheapie sex flicks, but you wouldn't know that considering how awful the fake sex in BEAST is. I kid you not. You would expect someone who spent so much time shooting sex scenes, and movies with naked women, would somehow develop a knack for fine T&A. But alas, BEAST doesn't even give the viewer that. The gore is fine, but it could have been better. As a whole, the film is poorly executed, and the acting is, as expected, quite atrocious.

3 out of 10

A team of parapsychologists is invited by John Stoker (Sergio Jones) to research the evil Fischer Manor, an ancient brothel where the owner Alfred Fischer (Aldo Sanbrell) was a gigolo that practiced black witchcraft. While investigating, the men are attacked by flesh-eater succubus and the psychic Erin Cooper (Jane Scarlett) seeks a powerful amulet for John Stoker. When they meet the trio of succubus, John discovers a lethal secret.

"Flesh for the Beast" is a disappointing B-movie with a different type of succubus that eat flesh, instead of drawing energy from the men during the intercourse; in this regard, the Canadian "La Peau Blanche" is better and better. In "Flesh for the Beast", the characters are not well-developed; the acting is weak and the story uses the all the clichés of "haunted house movies", with a group of psychics gathered to investigate supernatural phenomena in an old house. The best parts are the gore and erotic attack of the naked succubus, but they are not enough to make this flick satisfactory. My vote is three.

Title (Brazil): "Carne Para o Demônio" ("Flesh for the Devil")

I don't even know where to start. Let me just say that every time one of these new "horror" movies gets released, I keep hoping that this is going to be the one that finally nails it. Instead, I get a badly acted and badly written mess of a film that's only purpose seems to be to display gross nude women that you wouldn't even want to see naked anyway. The most thought seems to have gone into the awfully drawn out and completely rigid sex scenes that are about as tantalizing as the drab dialogue. However, the saddest thing about this film is that the gore sequences actually had the potential to be really creepy, if they hadn't gotten lost in all the other rubbish. After watching the documentary, I could see that the director was incapable of coaching an actress into being convincingly scary and "evil" as a demon. It also doesn't help that he hired a bunch of sleazy sex flick chicks who wouldn't know acting if it bit them on their pasty asses. I can honestly say that the best thing about this movie is the music by Buckethead. Therefore, I recommend that you go out and buy a Buckethead CD instead.

This movie was absolutely terrible. I am sometimes quite shocked that such ideas receive funding and actually make it to video. After watching the movie, it's actually quite hilarious listening to the director and producer wax philosophic about the degree of professionalism and quality they were attempting to achieve (but didn't). An especially funny moment (in the behind the scenes) was the producer describing how they spent literally months crafting the story and putting it together when one gets quite the opposite impression after viewing it.

I rarely rail on movies with such frankness, but this one almost angered me for wasting my time with such a poor effort. It only goes to show that it is not the paintbrush which makes a man a painter, but the images he creates.