Decoys

Normally I would never watch a movie like Decoys. I am not a fan of this type of cinema and the description sounded like a big ripoff of the 80's cult flick Revenge of the Teenage Vixens From Outer Space. Since Decoys was given to me as a gift just recently I figured I would force myself to watch it...

Basically, the storyline is similar to that of Revenge of the Teenage Vixens From Outer Space, just the vixens aren't "teenagers" and they don't turn their victims into vegetables. Anyway, the movie takes place on a college campus. Luke is the star of the movie and he witnesses these two beautiful girls turning into aliens before his very eyes. The only problem is getting everyone else to believe his story. Meanwhile, the "vixens" are screwing guys to death, literally, by freezing them from the inside out. What will Luke do to stop this invasion?

Well, as much as this movie looked dreadful, it really isn't that bad. The acting was actually pretty decent and the special effects (for lame CGI) weren't as bad as I would have expected. My two main complaints were the cliché horny college kids and the absolutely awful music played throughout the movie. But, I guess this movie was aimed to more of an early 20's age group. I guess the makers figure that is what people listen to or how they act. Whatever...

Anyway, I got a few laughs out of this movie and it kept my interest throughout. So, I guess it did what it was aiming for. Check it out on a rainy day. 6/10

Lilly (Stefanie von Pfetten) and Constance (Kim Poirier) are sexy cousins that are more than a couple of hot college girls. Luke (Corey Sevier) snuck into their room and sees something alien. Alex (Meghan Ory) is his best friend who just doesn't believe him.

The girls are aliens. It's not a spoiler because they show it in the first 10 minutes. There is absolutely no horror in this horror movie. The writing is all camp. Some intentional like punching a girl. But there is a lot of unintentional camp.

The odd thing is that Stefanie von Pfetten and Kim Poirier are probably the best actors in this movie. They have this frienermy competitiveness going on. All the guys are useless, both as characters and as actors. Meghan Ory is too distant.

This is a super cheesy TV movie. There is sometimes good fun to watch a little bit of camp. But the guys aren't good enough or funny enough or compelling enough. It's almost a funny watch, but it tries to be a serious horror.

Students at a Canadian college campus are beginning to disappear, only to be found dead, their bodies frozen stiff from the inside. Luke & Roger, two students at the campus, come across two new female students. But Luke discovers that they are in fact aliens who have arrived in order to breed so that they can save their race from extinction.

You can imagine what the executives at the Sci-Fi channel were thinking when the pitch for this film was given. "Hey, let's make a teenage version of SPECIES, set it in a college & throw in some American PIE." And sure enough, they delivered it.

"Decoys" is exactly what you would think it is; a cross between SPECIES & American PIE, only it takes the main plot points of both films; alien chicks & horny students; & throws them in a blender. The film's intentions are clear from the outset – the way the camera lingers on female college students as it passes them, shows that the film is purely for adolescent males who want to see sex, booze & cheap CGI effects.

That said, the film does have a number of glaring problems. The acting is not too bad, with Richard Burgi & Nicole Eggert playing their part as the two cops better than the actors playing the co-eds. The plot has some massive plot holes – why did the aliens pick that particular college to mate with? Also there's the fact that the director / screenwriter does not know who the real villains are (the aliens are shown as evil at first, but later come across as being sympathetic). The makeup effects used to portray the frozen victims are quite good but the CGI aliens are very cheesy.

To say this movie is average is saying a bit much. However it did have certain aspects that some viewers might appreciate. You've heard enough about the bad in other reviews I'm sure, so I'll be as unbiased as I can and sum up the good, the bad, and the ugly and point out who would and wouldn't appreciate it.

First off this film is for Guys (mainly), and it is for viewers who want to see some nice eye candy as it's filled with beautiful woman including one topless / ass scene and many other sexual scenes. It plays as a horror / action thriller with some suspense. The action scenes are okay, with some decent special effects. It wasn't that suspenseful as it's not that scary (I didn't think) though not a movie for young kids either as the whole movie is of a sexual nature also involving some non graphic killings. Obviously target audience is viewers in their teens / early twenties and though I'm a few years older I thought it was okay. I rented it cause I have a blockbuster pass and had nothing else to rent (if you can imagine that). I wouldn't watch it again, and if I did, it would only be to fast forward to certain parts encompassing about 5-10 minutes worth. Overall it's for guys who want some eye candy and a cheap horror story to string you along. Probably a decent party / date movie for those who want to lighten up the sexual tension (Combo of Species, Scream, and Porkey's). It's not as suspenseful or thrilling as scream, but it's not a spoof like Scary Movie and it more or less tries to take itself seriously.

The story itself sounds like something from a porno movie. A race of alien woman are dying off as they no longer can reproduce, so they come to earth and 'Decoy' themselves as beautiful woman in attempt to impregnate hosts or men in an effort to revitalize their species. Very similar to Species. Problem is they keep killing the men in the process… So the movie is filled with sexual scenes throughout. The two main guys in the movie are new freshmen at some university in a cold state. Keep in mind I did fast forward through some of it and wasn't paying close attention to minor details. Anyway the guys get involved with your friendly neighborhood Alien beauties. The main character pretty much goes on the vigilante rampage trying to prove the aliens existence. He apparently had a sexual past with the woman detective (which wasn't really explained). I must say too that the guy detective was probably the worst actor / character, and the film certainly could have survived with out him. What was up with the Puppy stuff??? The other Main guy falls in love with the Alien, and she as well. The movie comes to a head when the main guy hunts the alien women. The acting ranged from decent to terrible, the sexual and eye candy scenes were pretty good, the action was just okay, the special effects were decent. So overall, a B horror flick. You could do worse and if you miss it, no big deal… You won't hear much about it 6 months from now.

Genre-blending is a timeless art where regaining the interest of a jaded or exhausted audience is concerned. Unfortunately, it is also a tricky act to pull off thanks in no small part to the delicate balance between the two disparate elements. So while the blending of the sex comedy genre that has been bludgeoned to death in Hollywood with the monster mash genre that seems to have overridden science fiction looks good on paper, it requires a few things at the execution stage in order to work. The first, and definitely most important element to put in place is a clever script that blends the best of the prospective genres whilst shedding most of the worst. A good example would be Aliens, in which science fiction, horror, and action conjoin into a gripping story of human beings fighting their own worst natures. Once a good script is in place, good direction and good actors are really needed to follow. In fact, some attempts to blend genres that lack a good script can even be saved by a good director or a good cast.

The problem with Decoys, in a nutshell, is that it has absolutely none of these things. The director seems content to set his camera in front of his subjects and leave it running whilst they run through their lines. The actors, in turn, seem to be merely reciting lines and going through the motions. This, not unnaturally, leaves the audience standing on the outside of the film's reality rather than entering it. Of course, one could recover from this by making a film that is bad or oddball enough to be funny. This is not even attempted in Decoys. The concept of aliens landing on Earth with the mission of mating with the locals in order to facilitate some sort of continuation of their species is one rife for comedy. Granted, making a credible horror out of this concept is a difficult task, as Species proved in 1995, but the problem in Decoys is that nobody even seems to be trying. The film gives us little in the way of clues as to how to respond.

Furthering the problem is the cast. Meghan Ory steals the show as a potential girlfriend for Corey Sevier's protagonist, but when she is not in the frame, the weakness of the rest of the cast shines through like a desk lamp before the face. Nicole Eggert and Richard Burgi cannot act their way out of wet paper bags, and the latter's attempts to portray a hard-nosed detective who is convinced he is pursuing a new Ted Bundy shatter the reality of every scene he is in. Canada certainly has a better pool of talent available than this rot would have you believe. Every time one watches Bryan Singer's adaptations of the X-Men, one can see that much. The problem is that for every major talent in any sector of the industry, there has to be a dozen or so dregs. The cast of Decoys would appear to be a collection of every dreg that Canada has on offer. Sevier barely possesses the skill to appear in a menswear commercial, and aside from Ory, he is the best element of the cast. Thankfully, this problem was addressed somewhat in the sequel.

Another strike against Decoys would be the terrible writing. At one point, we are given a scene in which one of the aliens tells the human male she is about to attempt to mate with exactly why she and her fellow aliens are there. In the hands of a great director like Bryan Singer or Kenneth Johnson, this could have turned into a plot subthread that would hook the audience as the alien in question struggles with her own nature. Instead, we are simply given more scenes in which sex and death are equated, while a level of misogyny rarely seen outside of America is on display. Granted, a motive for the actions of the characters is provided, but a good motive is like a good engine. If you do not maintain it adequately throughout the time in which you are using it, it will begin to fall apart. Characters begin to follow the protagonist's plan of action without needing to be adequately convinced, motivations change at the drop of a hat, and twists commit the ultimate sin. They are telegraphed in advance whilst making no real sense in light of the rest of the film at all.

As I have hinted earlier, some of the problems with Decoys were corrected in Decoys 2. Aside from the addition of better cast members, better humour, and a more developed story, Decoys 2 also delivers a bit of mild suspense. Another problem in the original Decoys is that any suspense or interest is destroyed for storytelling convenience. The susceptibility of the alien race to heat above room temperature is probably the biggest problem that these characters suffer. While it is not as idiotic as making the aliens in Signs fatally vulnerable to water, it does beg a few questions. Granted, I am not familiar with Canada in any sense, but surely they must have days when one does not require an ice pick to breathe out. Even Norway has those from time to time. But by now, you might have noticed I am picking all sorts of myriad details apart regarding Decoys. And that is the biggest point I wish to make here. A good film has plot holes, but manages to distract the viewer from them. A bad film displays its plot holes and even exaggerates them by force of numbers. Decoys is therefore a very bad film.

I gave Decoys a four out of ten. Two of those points are for a touching scene in which Kim Poirier demonstrates a third dimension to her character, and Meghan Ory. The rest of the film is a damp squib.