Ninja's Force

Well, matters at least get off to a cracking start in this when a ninja is shown sneaking into a professors office, before viciously slaying him and his wheelchair bound daughter(!) This is followed by the opening credits which roll to an arrangement of the end theme from Bladrunner!!! A great opening I'm sure you'll concur! Sadly however, what follows doesn't live up to this initial level of joyous trash and is a decidedly tedious affair at best.

Romano Kristoff appears in this as the ninja hero who is brought in to deal with matters (remember only a ninja can kill a ninja as the old movie motto goes!) and by gum! – what a boring hero he makes to! In fact, there's very little in this movie to distinguish it at all other than a few instances of naked breasts on display and one rather admittedly cool decapitation. Other than that, the martial arts are pathetic, the 'plot' meanders aimlessly and basically nothing of any interest transpires.

Mike Monty is utterly wasted in his role but I suppose at least he got paid for turning up whereas I never received a penny for sitting through this!

My advice; skip this inane effort and go and watch some IFD ninja produce instead – now THAT'S how a ninja film should be!

Directer Teddy Page made one of the best "Z" Ninja films with fine performances turned in by Romano Kristoff (Kenzo) the dependable Mike Monty as (David) and sexy, sexy , sexy Gwen Hung as (Laura). This film moves right along with Kenzo whacking an army of business man's Tony Carrion's (Mr. Duncan's.) henchman. You see, Mr. Duncan plans to make all of the World Leaders Zombies by secretly putting LSD in their water. He is added by an evil professor (Ken Watanabe). There's kidnapping, Murders, Be- headings and many flying objects of death in this soon to be classic. This flick is better then any Godfrey Ho directed Ninja film (Robo Vampire not withstanding) by miles, and with the addition of a couple of polite nude scenes by Laura this one is a big winner. With just a little better dubbing Ninja's force would have landed in the six or seven star category. Many scenes are hilarious with one in particular involving a lady on a gurney which took the cake. All Ninja, B movie, and especially Z movie fans should enjoy this fine effort. Ninja's force was a real coming out role for Gwen who proved that she is leading lady material, and did I mention she was very very sexy as Laura.

One of the eternal truths of cinema: if the word "Ninja" is in the title you're in for garbage (the exceptions can be counted on one hand).

The lack of quality displayed is thus not any surprise. What is a surprise however, and this is where I was both shocked and amazed, is that there seems to exist a genre of movies ripping off the already infamously z-grade Tomas Tang/Filmark International productions of the eighties, that are the textbook definition of disposable cheaper by the dozen trash. Apparently the bottom of that barrel has a basement!

Its inhabitant is a person named Romano Kristoff with whom I'm blissfully unfamiliar, who embarrassed himself and the concept of human endeavor with this laughable vanity product. What could have been a comedy goldmine is hampered by the fact that he's the least charismatic, least interesting and least entertaining onscreen personality I've seen in years.

The few things keeping Ninja's Force from getting the super rare 1/10 rating from me are the fun opening 4 minutes, a surprisingly well done decapitation and the fact that the main wannabe hunk looks like an 8 year old wearing a pyjama everytime he's in Ninja garb.