Mark of the Astro-Zombies

I have always been a fan of old classic movies and even the grade B horror and science fiction films. I have grown tired of modern action films with one explosion after another. The digitally created creatures, climbing walls and slithering across ceilings have left me yearning for a simpler time of well developed characters being chased by men in monster suits. The most frightening movie monsters are usually kept in the shadows and developed in the viewer's imagination.

I just finished watching Mark of the Astro-Zombies and it is an excellent film. The camera angles and editing were wonderful. The story moved along at a great pace with cuts between scenes of actors talking and scenes of blood crazed Astro-zombies hacking everyone in sight.

Brinke Stevens gave a wonderful performance as Cindy Natale. Her pseudo-documentary portrayal of a newswoman out for a story worked very well in the film. And, she looks totally HOT in her short skirt.

Tura Satana returned to battle Astro-Zombies and match wits with Dr. DeMarco. She was excellent in her scenes. Her argument with Dr. DeMarco was brilliant. She provided an excellent death scene for Ted V. Mikels in a cameo role.

Robert Taylor as the talking head of Dr. DeMarco did the late John Carradine (Dr. DeMarco from Astro-Zombies in 1967) a wonderful justice. I think Mr. Carradine would have enjoyed watching that scene. Robert's lines were witty and clever and spoken like a true Shakespearian actor.

The lovely Nina Tepes treats the viewers to a lovely and tasteful nude scene (back side nudity).

The music and digital effects really gave the movie extra polish. The digital skulls and flying saucer were truly impressive. Jay Gowey's zombie masks and especially the head of Dr. DeMarco photographed very well. There were no actor's mouths visible with these Astro-Zombie masks. His fast and high quality work really came through for this film.

Don't miss this movie.

Bravo Ted!!

Dennis

What a pleasure to roller coaster your way through this latest Ted V. Mikels flick! If you're a fan of Ted's previous work...or just a fan of the nostalgia of invading nefarious aliens such as were standard in the '50's and '60's...you'll have fun with this movie. It's got a variety of alien life forms, some evil, some benevolent....and of course the Astro Zombies are back (remember their first time 'round, in the original ASTRO ZOMBIES in '68?). They're running amuck again, slashing, chopping, slicing and dicing innocent citizens right and left! Nifty blood/weapons/wounds, by the way. Kudos to the fx team!

Plot? Don't get uptight about it. Go with the flow! Invaders from outer space are up to no good, human villainess and her henchman are up to no good, and the good guys are trying to get a handle on it all. The joy of this film is in its amusing dialog and wonderful cast. Brinke Stevens is pretty as a picture and makes a very warm and appealing heroine. Tura Satan, perhaps best remembered from the cult classic FASTER, PUSSYCAT, KILL, KILL, is a welcome and delightfully wicked "dragon lady" type, whether wielding threatening weapons or slapping the bejeezus out of her dull-witted comic (but dangerous) sidekick, which she does frequently. It's wonderful to see another cult classic actress, Liz Renay, as the kooky, publicity-seeking "I was attacked by aliens!" gal. Liz is very funny in this role....and it's sure great to see how this lady, who was once considered a twin to Marilyn Monroe, has remained a vibrant and engaging screen personality (by the way...remember her in John Waters' DESPERATE LIVING?). And you get a little bonus in this film, too...check out a brief scene by director Mikels himself as a mad, mad, mad scientist who converses with "the head of Dr. De Marco". Lots of laughs!

Just grab this one for the fun-filled ride. No deep thoughts necessary...it's an Ed Woods-type romp in low budget scifi. See it with friends...laugh and hoot and holler...it may not be Shakespeare...but it's fun!

Mark of the Astro-Zombies (2002)

* (out of 4)

There's nothing like waiting thirty-four years to bring a sequel along. I guess you could almost call this a remake but since there's several mentions to the events and characters of the first film it would also be safe to call it a straight sequel. This time out another scientist has released the astro-zombies (and their machetes) to kill as many humans as they possibly can. I'm sure there was some more story at some point but that's pretty much all I got. So, was the three decade wait worth it? I would say yes. This film has a very small budget and it's clear that Mikels pretty much gathered up some friends to shoot this but it's that cheapness that actually makes the film worth viewing. Yes, the acting, special effects and everything else are bad but you have to give the director credit for being out there all these years and still trying to deliver drive-in trash even though that entire genre has been replaced by the current wave of torture porn. While watching this thing I couldn't help but get hit by some mild nostalgia because you really do feel as if you're watching something from the 60s but of course with a face lift. This film contains a lot more gore, which is actually a good thing because the kills here are extremely funny. None of them look real but I got a real kick out of seeing dozens of these astro-zombies running around, waiving their machetes in the air as they stalk and kill people in the streets. Most of the deaths come from the machetes being struck through people's throats and it's clear that a majority of the budget went to the blood effects. It's these scenes here that seem ripped right out of those drive-in flicks of the 70s and it's these scenes that will probably leave a smile on most faces. Brinke Stevens and Liz Renay appear here with countless others including the director himself. We also get John Carradine in the form of a pretty fake looking head, which again adds some mild camp value. At 80-minutes the thing still runs a bit too long but at the same time it has a much better pacing than the original film, although it's a shame they couldn't get the original masks for the creatures here. Fans of "Z" grade cinema or fans of the original film will want to check this one out but others should stay clear.

I like bad movies. I really do.

But some bad movies at least go through the motions of trying to be good. For instance, Steckler's Incredibly Strange Creatures, where actual sets were constructed and dance numbers were even choreographed - albeit poorly - indicated a genuine attempt to try to make an enjoyable movie. Heck, even Mikel's original Astro-Zombies showed some level of "pre-production" planning. None of it went towards a script rewrite though.

But, Mark of the Astro-Zombies in a contrived mess shot on videotape for crying out loud. And by that I mean a video camera that you could drive down to Circuit City and buy.

The "Making of" featurette (excuse me, I had to chuckle there for a second) is more entertaining than the feature itself, generally because it allows the viewer to see that the movie was a joke to the cast and crew, but the joke was on us.

Steer clear all - find yourself a cold beer and a Troma flick. You'll be glad you did.

In the 1960s and 70s, Ted Mikels made a lot of cheap films. Some of his early ones weren't bad at all (such as "Black Klansman") but most were rather schlocky. However, in recent years, Mikels has stayed active--producing even lower quality films (yes, this IS possible). And when I talk about lower quality, I am not exaggerating. Films such as "Cauldron: Baptism of Blood" and "Apartheid Slave-Women's Justice" honestly look as if some teenagers decided to make a film using home video equipment and posted the results on YouTube. This is exactly the sort of film to expect from "Mark of the Astro-Zombies"--a film with such low production values that it is WORSE than an Ed Wood flick!!

What's so bad about "Mark of the Astro-Zombies"? Everything. The actors are all non-professionals, his 'monsters' are laughable and sport cheap rubber masks (I especially had to laugh at the lizard people!!!), there appears to be no script, much of the film is missing and cheap messages scroll at the bottom of the screen to fill in the gaps and the entire production seems to have cost Mikels, perhaps, $89.99. Apart from a few trick machetes, the masks and LOTS of fake blood and some VERY cheap CG, I have no idea what Mikels else could have spent any money on--especially since he already seemed to have the home video cameras from his previous direct-to-video and DVD releases. The overall production is at least as bad as recent films like "Birdemic", "Troll 2" and "The Room"...no, I actually think "The Room" is better! However, deciding whether any of these are worse than "Mark of the Astro-Zombies" is like deciding which is worse--Ebola, the Black Plague or Typhoid!!! A truly horrible film that would have made the IMDb Bottom 100 list had it received wider distribution.