Who's Your Daddy?

Chris, an adopted son of a moral family, a loser whom works at the school newspaper with Kate (Christine Lakin from of the awful sugary "Step by Step" show of the now thankfully defunct ABC's TGIF line-up), finds out that he's just inherited a porn empire from his biological parents. He loses sight of what true friendship and love is and blah blah some other nonsense. He also has to contend with an Uncle who wants control of the family business and a shifty lawyer (arn't they are?) A slightly below average teen comedy that steals from better teen comedies (the opening alone is HIGHLY American Pie-esquire), bops you on the head with the moral every chance it gets, and wastes the only star talent it has (Wayne Newton, Lin Shaye, and if i'm really stretching the star word, Martin Starr of "Freaks and Geeks", and Justin Berfield of "Malcolm in the Middle"). It's not bad exactly, but it's far from good.

Eye Candy: a few extras get topless

My Grade: C-

Where I saw it: Starz on Demand (available until September 29th)

This movie leaves me feeling angry that I wasted my time watching it. A group of five began watching it, but by the end...I was the only one left. I only kept watching it because I paid for the rental. I truly felt like they were trying to do another "American Pie" or something but the humor just wasn't quite there. It was more "raunchy" than anything. I think a lot of it was the story line...but also there was some poor casting choices. The ending was also not really a good choice and leaves the audience feeling disappointed.I would NOT recommend this flick to anyone.I rate it one. Only because there was no zero available.

A coming of age flick where an adopted high school kid finds himself in charge of a porn empire through amazingly convenient circumstances, and through this experience learns what's really important in life...

While a pretty classic high-school film almost sure to please its target audience of teen-age boys, (lots of gorgeous girls bouncing around in swim suits) it seems to be a little unsure of itself. At some points it's over the top raunch, but then drops into an almost preachy diatribe on friends, family, and true love. This juxtaposition makes it all a little unbelievable - but who cares, it's fun to watch.

This movie is a cross between "American Pie" and "She is all that". Regrettably movie's director never decided which way he was going to go. So "Daddy" wobbled between over the top comedy and serious issues. That was negative side. On the positive side, "Daddy" has plenty of funny jokes and amazing performances. Christine Lakin was just unbelievable in her role as dorky lovesick girl. If you want to compare, try to remember Cameron Diaz in "There's Something About Mary". Yes, it was that on the money!! Marne Patterson made the best slutty cheerleader I have ever seen. Young actors were also good. Highly recommend to see. You will not be bored

Movie starts off extremely well with that glorious sequence featuring the lovely girl from CHARMED's final season, Marnette Patterson. Then, almost instantly, it switches over, from the sublime to the ridiculous, with campy ol' Colleen Camp as the mother of Chris in embarrassing scenes no guy would want to see. If I was a film director and I had Marnette Patterson on the set, I wouldn't have bothered with such stupid fart jokes and vomit references and gay porn and lots of other inane stuff too lame to mention. Poor little Marne seems to have been typecast in the 'bad girl' role, and while she clearly excels at it, what a waste. She was too late for BEVERLY HILLS 90210, where she would have made the 100% ideal Kelly Taylor, and too early for 90210. I'm just saying that while this movie has funny moments, and the fantasy of inheriting Playboy/Heaven is a story-line worth pursuing, a deluge of toilet humor is not the way to go about it. Besides Marnette, they also got it right with (1) Ali Landry as the classy Angel (although the character shouldn't have been quite SUCH a goodie-goodie two-shoes Sunday school teacher, but okay, Ali Landry, classy, sexy, hot, yum, yes (2) the J.Geils Band with CENTERFOLD (which is from an era preceding this shot-in-2002 movie by twenty years, but sounds as if it was created for this movie) (3) the Hawaiian Tropic girls, who unfortunately get way,way too little screen- time.

But the flops far outnumber the bright points. Please, what were they thinking casting Patsy Kensit as an Angel? The second half, especially, throws the little that they did have, completely away by rushing towards an agreeable end. And listen here, a magazine like Heaven cannot overnight change its content without disastrous consequences for its sales department, so don't think that those group shots taken of friends would get the mags sold, so it's all a pointless unbelievable shoddy solution turning Heaven feminist- friendly, very badly scripted.

A movie that missed its target audience by miles and miles. Guys looking for fun, would rent it, and unlike me, they wouldn't sit there and rave about Marnette Patterson afterward. No, they would want to tar and feather the people who created this (mostly) junk and cheated them out of their video rental lolly.

Should have been more Marne and Ali, less fat vomit-prone & nerdy geek guys. Movie needed a miracle that could never be anything more than a mirage.

And now, enough from me, I'm off on my date with Marnette... I wish.