O Jogo das Sete Mortes

I write a lot of reviews on films and, normally, try to find something positive to say about a movie. No matter how bad it is, there's at least a couple of good points. In fact, I hate people who say things like 'Worst movie ever!!!!' (note the annoyingly large amount of exclamations marks).

Well, this definitely isn't the worst movie ever (in my opinion 'Seed' takes that particular accolade), but it is at least definitely in the bottom of the barrel.

My hopes weren't high from the beginning. I think Hollywood should be forced to stamp a great big warning sign on any film which is actually 'found footage.' This emerging genre is certainly cheap to produce. Minimal actors and special effects are required and I daresay the editing doesn't take too long either.

Reality Kills is, sadly, one of these 'found footage films. It's constructed like a documentary about people who were murdered in a house... or something. In fact, as soon as I realised it was found footage, I kind of lost interest. This review is only based on the first hour. I couldn't take any more. Cliché after cliché reared its ugly head. From the couple killed while having sex, to the shaky camera-work and killers who run in and run out of frame so quickly, you can barely tell what it was.

This isn't the worst movie ever made, but there are plenty of these types of horror films out there and they, at best, only become average - the kind of movie you watch to kill time and forget about afterwards. Sadly, this one isn't even that good. It's just one you need to avoid. Even if you're a massive fan of found footage films, this one doesn't make the grade.

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This one is based around a reality show where six young people have been placed in a remote farmhouse in order to not get on very well. The winner is the last one standing, except that that may be a literal fact in this case, as before long, members of the crew and contestants begin showing up dead, the victims of a crazed maniac.

Reality Check is a very cheap film. It's a slasher movie but it doesn't even make the grade in this most formulaic and basic of horror sub-genres. The killings are staged with a modicum of suspense but the victims are dispatched in highly tediously ungraphic ways. It's a stun gun and hypodermic needle, as opposed to excessive gory mayhem. So what you are left with is the melodrama surrounding the group of reality chumps. To be fair to the actors, they give it a good shot but there is only so much they can achieve working from a script this lacking and this, coupled with the half-hearted horror, results in a film that is decidedly underwhelming.

It's supposed to be one of those slasher movies I favor - but it's not. I was deeply disappointed with this film. It's as if you take a few girls and guys from a Big Brother camp and put them in a lodge out in the woods, miles from any civilization. They're supposed to stay there for six months and winner gets a hundred thousand dollars - but soon it becomes apparent that one of them doesn't want anybody to survive and get the money. Then the killing starts - members of the crew and the candidates perish one by one. The killings are far from gruesome (the victims are stunned by what looks like electrical shocks and then killed by getting a lethal injection), there is lots of foul language, a few sick jokes, a badly done sex scene, lots of screams and virtually no suspense. I forced to keep my eyes open just to watch it to the end, but it wasn't worth my time. If you consider to watch this movie, well, I'd advise you to rather watch a couple of hours Big Brother instead. That's as dull as "Reality Check", but at least with BB you know you can't expect anything and therefore won't be disappointed - and you won't waste any money. Jasper P. Morgan

In Reality Kills, a diverse bunch of teens are invited to country house/mansion to spend some time together while it's all filmed for a reality show. For once, this diverse cast is for the most part quite entertaining. You have a pretty half Asian bisexual girl, a pretty half Latino hippy girl, a very politically incorrect redneck radio host, the gorgeous Natalia Cigliuti playing an ambitious wanna be starlet, an innocent virgin, and some less interesting characters- least of all, the director behind the program, one "Sticky Fingers" trying to do his best at pretending to act.

The radio host gets the best and funniest lines as he provokes everyone with his lack of politically correct sensibilities. Another fun aspect is the sexual tension between the bisexual girl and the virgin. Meanwhile, Natalia tries to sleep her way to the top. But as the kids try get along and not to get along, a killer is on the loose zapping his victims and then killing them. That forces them all to act like stupid victims doing stupid things. The killer wears a mask and has a tiny camera on the forehead so all the deaths are recorded.

The identity of the killer comes as somewhat of a surprise, although a likely surprise. But it's the interaction of the kids that keeps the movie interesting at first, before they become victims and have no more time for fun. There's a bit of gore, a bit of nudity, little violence but a very attractive cast.

Four young women – Serendipity, Mei-Ling, Charlolette and Isabel, and three young men – Gar, Swope and Crash, totally strangers to each other, are sent to an isolated house with the crew members of a reality show leaded by the Afro-American Brock to stay living together for three months without any means of communication with the exterior, and in the end, the winner will get a prize of US$ 100,000.00. When the SM cameraman Eugene is found dead in a barn, the group becomes hysterical, since nobody knows who is trustful. "Reality Check" is a bad movie in all aspects. The characters are not well developed and their behaviors are completely illogical. When the serial killer is disclosed, there is no explanation of the motives for such behavior other than being a deranged person. The performances are hysterical and boring. The edition is horrible and the image is too much dark, needing the change of the bright of the TV. The story has no originality, and it is another one about a sort of "Big Brother" show. Watching this movie is indeed a pure waste of time. My vote is three.

Title (Brazil): "O Jogo das Sete Mortes" ("The Game of the Seven Deaths")