Eve's Beach Fantasy

When I feasted my eyes on April Adams, I saw something special. What a knockout. You won't find anyone like this very often in hardcore. April, who looks like a sexier Sarah Michelle Gellar, is the only reason to try to watch this horrible film about a PYT who gets possession of a beach house for the summer. Otherwise, get ready for bad acting, editing, camerawork, and all the other problems with the camcorder-made films in this industry. Still, April rules and the story was a bit crazy in it's run. Shannon Whirry is off my Top 5 list for now.

Many erotic movies suffer from a weak plot, and this one is no exception. The writer must apparently have thought that putting some drama scenes together and adding a good amount of flash-backs would form a plot. It does not.

But then, you might say, this is an adult movie, and if the plot is that bad, I just fast forward between the sex scenes. Nice thought, but it does not work. The erotic scenes are simply not good either. There are a few scenes that are quite erotic, but these are rare, most of the supposedly erotic/sexual scenes are simply boring. And rather than fast forward through both plot and erotica, it's better not to start watching the movie at all. The little nice erotica (I liked the first quarter or so of the scene where the main character is trying on some flimsy bathwear) is really not worth the wear on your fast-forward button.

My God. I own some pretty bad movies, but this may take it. I ordered one of my many Troma movies one day and I was offered this one for free, so naturally I accepted it. I can see why they were giving it away. There is a poor, poor plot, if that's what they call it, where Eve(April Adams) takes care of her Uncle's house for a few days. She meets her neighbors, who are sex fiends, and a photographer who thinks she is beautiful (which she is not). The acting was as lugubrious as I've ever seen and I hope I never see her in a movie again. This goes to show, if it looks like a porn, and sounds like a porn, you better damn well hope it is, because this was not.

Eve's Beach Fantasy is a low grade Troma film in the style of some softcore film we'd see on Cinemax after Midnight. The acting is nothing impressive and the interest level may be good for some College kids looking to see some breasts and butts. But even for me, a straight kid who's fourteen you'd think this movie would be my thing. But when I expected it to be a humorous Comedy I had no idea it would fly down the softcore route. While April Adams plays a likable character and a few other things give the movie perks, the unbelievable story and the ability of the movie not to take itself seriously make the movie a poor Troma movie.

Troma is a company with great potential and a library of interesting and very independent movies. Besides Horror films like The Toxic Avenger, Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead, and Dead Dudes in the House which I reviewed as well for The August Rush, Troma was also known for it's various movies that were Comedy and not always about a killer whatever. Eve's Beach Fantasy, The First Turn-On!, Sizzle Beach, U.S.A., Getting Lucky, and a number of other titles were all non-Horror films done by Troma. Troma also was behind documentaries as well, most recently, Blood, Boobs, and Beast. Plus not all non-Horror films by Troma were bad, some were enjoyable. So it was clear that the company was capable of doing movies without killers, so Eve's Beach Fantasy had a fair amount of potential.

Eve Thomas (April Adams) is a straight-A, good girl who doesn't have a job and, according to her father, "is always burring her nose in Romance novels". Aside from being jobless, she's a girl in a big world and basically could be pretty successful. When her uncle calls to ask if Eve is available to house-sit while he and his wife are away, Eve jumps at the opportunity and sails away to her uncle's house.

When she arrives to the guest house to pick up the keys, she is alarmed at the married couple who interrupted intercourse to answer the door. Once getting the keys she does more than make herself at home at the uncle's mansion, she deliberately invites friends over to the house to relax in the hot tub. She is hellbent on trying to get Bobby, her crush, to come over to the house so they can go out to eat. But her plans fall unsuccessful both attempts. She then finds someone on the beach who can get her a modeling gig and, once again, Eve jumps at the opportunity to show off her breasts and body.

While Eve's Beach Fantasy makes use of some interesting perks like we hear Eve talking to herself (which I greatly enjoyed and have never seen that utilized as well as in this movie), we see flashbacks of her saying "I can't wear a thong, my father would kill me!", and the soundtrack to the movie is great. Surfing and Rock music play with montages of different scenery of the beach, my personal favorite being where she is on the beach with Zalman. The music there, compliments every aspect in the scene.

The part where the movie disappoints is being softcore. We see sex scenes from neighbors, in Eve's dreams, on set, and girls baring it all. While there's nothing wrong a small sex scene here and there, this movie doesn't need to be a near pornographic film. It would work wonders as just a straight forward Comedy. Some scenes the movie is funny when it's just being a Comedy, then comes the erotic love scene out of nowhere (and it lasts forever).

If you want to watch it because you need some pleasure, than Eve's Beach Fantasy will give it to you. But for someone expecting a smooth Romantic Comedy movie I was greatly letdown. Troma works wonders with almost everything they do, but without hesitation and when reflection on gems they've done in the past like Poultrygeist, Terror Firmer, and Dead Dudes in the House, I can honestly say that Eve's Beach Fantasy is the worst film they've done. Even clever and enjoyable perks like "listening to thoughts" and a very respectable score the movie fails.

Starring: April Adams, Brendan Claybourn, David Conners, Sherry Hardesty, Gigi Finnel, Manny Santos, Aleksander Milosevic, and Brittany Andrews. Directed by: Henri Lumiere.