Merlin: O Retorno

This is one of the funniest films I've ever seen. I went to it the first time having never seen a trailer hoping for a King Arthur oriontated Action movie.

What I got was an afternoon of laughs. THis film is helarious. Shot in South Africa - set in englad? What were they thinking?

"Ohh don't worry - it's just Merrrlin" - say the the two modern kids as he falls out of the sky landing on their car - the've met before we learn.... but how?

I found it so funny I brought all my friends to it one day later.

PS - it's not meant to be funny when it is funny.

That's the funny part!

If, when in the cinema, children are spinning round to stare at you, it means either that the film itself is terminally terrible or you've sprouted a massive boil on your forehead that you hadn't quite noticed. The first answer is, of course, the right one. And as for "Merlin The Return", it's a stinker in a division all of its own. It's almost as if director Paul Matthews had accepted a bet to make the worst possible film. Well, he's succeeded, and his winnings are bound to be more than Merlin will ever make.

Matthews' lumbering style sees the picture heave from one gormless scene to the next, helped on its way by the most awful acting. Rik Mayall (Merlin) trots out his usual sweaty desperation and manic panic, Patrick Bergin (King Arthur) looks like an embarrassing dad (complete with silly wig and glitzy, disco-friendly pullover), while the token American (no doubt included to secure international release - some hope) is a kid who seems to be reading his lines off Merlin's forehead.

I hadn't ever heard of this movie until I ran across it on cable this evening, and seeing Rik Mayall's name in it, I figured I'd check it out, being a fan of "The Young Ones" from way back. Well obviously he's a young one no longer, but he does a enthusiastic turn as Merlin in this unfortunate mish-mash of I-don't-know-what.

Was this really Patrick Bergin, Tia Carrere, Craig Sheffer (oh what happened to the days of "A River Runs Through It"?)? Throw in a little Stonehenge mythology, Arthurian legend, special effects that look like they flew out of "Ghostbusters" and this could have been a LOT better movie. Bad things happen to good actors, and this movie is proof. Discombobulated plot, confusion abounds, and I kept hoping Elizabeth from "Drop Dead Fred" would pop up and say the magic words and make it all go back in the jack-in-the-box. Craig Sheffer is in no way, shape or form cut out to be this creepy time traveler, he's a great actor and what in the world made him do this movie is beyond me. Patrick Bergin doesn't really have that much enthusiasm either.

Mayall does seem to be the most inclined to try his best, so I'd give this a 5 out of 10.

Merlin The Return is a good family film with great special effects!

Rik Mayall plays a very good 'Merlin' and brings a funny element to the film!

It is a good all round film for children of all ages!

Another film watched for the "How Did This Get Made" podcast, "Merlin: The Return" is not just the worst film I've watched for them, but one of the worst I've ever seen.

Having used a spell to trap all the characters of Arthurian legend in another dimension, Merlin (Rik Mayall) is disturbed to learn that Mordred (Craig Sheffer) is communicating with present day scientist Dr. Joan Maxwell (Tia Carrere) and that she is close to a scientific breakthrough that free them. To stop them he. . . . actually what does he do?

I'm genuinely not sure whether the film has a plot that you can follow. A bunch of stuff happens, sure, but motivations, powers and plot seems to alter minute by minute. There are some kids in present day South Africa (don't try and convince me that's the UK film, for it definitely isn't) and they're involved. One of them is threatened by Mordred that they have to kill Merlin, or he'll kill his mother - but like so many other plot points in the film ultimately it comes to nothing.

So, the story is dreadful, as are the visual effects (though this might be expected as it's a low budget film.) but the performances are ... also terrible. With an oddly muted Rik Mayall maintaining his dignity slightly, but the rest of the cast, who are all B-Movie regulars and semi recognisable faces like Adrian Paul are universally awful.

I could keep going but I'll end up repating myself. This is bad.