Almost Live!

Almost Live was one of my favorite shows, ever! Local TV stations rarely makes their own product anymore, outside of newscasts, but KING TV in Seattle ran this local comedy show for 15 years up until 1999. I would count down the hours to see the next episode every Saturday night! Billy Kwan, The High Fivin' White Guys, Speed Walker, Sluggy, Cops in Ballard/Issaquah/Renton/Mercer Island, The John Report, The Worst Girlfriend in the World, Pat Cashman in D.J. Priest/D.J. Cop/D.J. Dentist, Roscoe's Carpet Emporium (Going out of Business since 1958!), The Ineffectual Middle-Management Suck-ups, Uncle Fran's Musical Forest, Ballard Driving School, The Street Walking Lawyers of Aurora Ave, & Jet Guy!!! This show was a great example of how creativity and localisms cam make a show work without having a big budget, or being based in LA or NYC.

I also would like to take to task the user comment that claimed that the humor of the show "Almost Live!" was too Seattle-based to appeal to people that lived outside of the area. I live in British Columbia, Canada, and I found the humor of the show hysterical. You did not have to live in Seattle to understand the jokes. For example, there was one sketch called "The Streetwalking Lawyers Of Aurora Avenue", which depicted out-of-work lawyers making a living by offering their services on the side of the road. From that sketch, I could conclude with confidence that the real Aurora Avenue in Seattle was plagued with prostitutes. Further proof that the humor on the show could appeal to outsiders was the little-known fact that the scripts for the show were sold to a German TV show and recreated there for German audiences.

It was a sad day when this show was cancelled. Though part of me would love the show to be revived, the cast is now probably too old. Though maybe they could mentor a new cast and writers.

As a native Washingtonian who grew up to Almost Live! the thing that worked best for me was that the show was basically one big inside joke for those of us who knew the area. Sadly, this is why the show really wasn't all that funny in syndication. When I met out of state residents at college, I would insist that they watch the show in order to understand the area. That way, they could learn that Scandinavians live in Ballard, yuppies live on the East Side, and rednecks live in the South End. These are vital things to know!!! It's no small coincidence that Almost Live ended up coming out with a guide to the northwest video.

It was always great to watch this show before SNL, and take pride in the fact that a bunch of local talent consistantly creamed the pathetic attempts at comedy produced by the national "talent" in New York. I just wish KING TV wouldn't have decided to pull the plug on the show (it was making money, but they wanted to make MORE money), and that stars like John Keister and Pat Cashman would have been able to springboard into the national scene to share their talent with the rest of the country.

Almost Live! actually had 2 different formats, but had one theme; Comedy.

The first, was hosted by Ross Shafer (1984-88), which had a "Tonight Show" type of format; Sketch comedy, local and some national celebrity appearances and stand-up comedians were showcased, whether it be local comedians like Chris Alpine or up and comers at the time like Jerry Seinfeld or Drake Sather.

After Ross left the show in 1988, to become Joan River's replacement on Fox's late night talk show, "The Late Show", John Keister took over as host.

He tried to use the same talk show format, but in the summer of 1989, they changed it to all sketch comedy and the show really took off from there.

What made this show great was, it was humor we in the Northwest United States could relate, enjoy and call our own. It's very rare when you see humor based on this region; Usually, shows like this are based on New York, the east coast and California (mostly Los Angeles) humor.

In my humble opinion, here's my top 10 list of the best skits "Almost Live" had:

10. "Grape Nuts" commercial parody. The old Grape Nuts commercial theme from the late 80's was used, but it celebrated the party animal in us.

9. Ross Shafer's video "Too Many Ties" with the "Almost Live Band". Dedicated to all those who get nothing but ties for gifts.

8. "Mind Your Manners With Billy Quan". Wonderful parody of all those bad Kung Fu movies of the 70's and 80's.

7. "The High Five'in White Guys". Pointless, dumb, but hilarious.

6. "Cops in (name of city here)". Parody of Fox's "Cops". Made fun of virtually every community in the greater Seattle area.

5. "The Lame List". Dumb, but hilarious. Featured "Soundgarden".

4. "Ballard Driving School". If you've been in Ballard, you'd get this.

3. John Keister's April Fool's Joke Of 1989. Did a fake news bulletin, that the Space Needle fell like a chopped tree. Funny, but Keister got into a lot of trouble when people took it seriously.

2. "Ballard Vice". One of their most popular sketches. Parody of "Miami Vice". Filmed in the Ballard neighborhood. The Beginning was hilarious, when the camera chased after Canadian Geese, than the pink flamingos you see in the actual show.

1. "Ballard Vice: The Movie". This 15 minute short movie featured, 2 ex-Seattle Seahawks, Hydroplane driver Chip Hanauer among the cast. Hanauer plays an "H" smuggler (halibut), ex-Seahawks Jim Zorn and Michael Jackson play the well dressed Ballard Vice officers, while John Keister and Ross Shafer play the 2 slob Ballard Vice officers.

Honorable Mention: "This Here Place". Pat Cashman parodied PBS' "This Old House" and my sides would be aching from laughter every time.

This was one of the most consistently funny shows I've ever seen. Even SCTV in the early years would occasionally meander off somewhere that made you want to get up and get a soda.

"Almost Live" was kinda like Conan O' Brien's show on those rare nights when he's really on, just off-the-wall observational humor and completely silly stuff like "High-Fivin' White Guys", which was hilarious.

I really wish this would come out on DVD instead of craptastic tripe like "Scary Movie" and oh-boy-more-reality shows.