Something New

Alicyn Sterling gets top billing in the opening credits of "Something New", but she's merely spliced randomly into the feature with a sex scene servicing Don Fernando. It's a typical insult from hack director Sal Thomas, working for a poverty row porn label "Factory Video", apologies to Andy Warhol.

Story is of a harried producer played by Cal Jammer who's having trouble with his star named "Beverly Hills", played by Melanie Monroe. He needs a new starlet to replace her and casting couch action occurs to find one.

The acting is poor, and the sex scenes mechanical. As his Cal's employee, Jerry Butler is particularly annoying, screaming like a water buffalo (so they say) as pretend orgasmic passion when he deposits a load on Beverly Hills' posterior. Jake Steed (credited as "Jake Speed" as an unintentional plug for that fun little mainstream movie from the '80) also auditions -sexually- Saki St. Germaine.

Haphazard movie has Hills ending up in jail where her cellmate Maxine Monroe recognizes her and they have lesbian sex behind bars. Maxine insists on calling her Beverly Wills, supposedly "funny". Hardy-har-har.

Identity of the chosen new starlet is an anticlimax of this junker. I had to add all the credits for it to IMDb, which has carried the movie with only Alicyn Sterling's name listed.