Cool Sheets

Cool Sheets is a porn movie of the old school, i.e. there is a plot of sorts, beautiful women who look natural and a cast who at least try to act. It could be said that this movie belongs to that era described as the Golden Age of Porn, although to my mind, Golden Age of Porn is like saying High Class Hooker, it is a contradiction in terms. I wonder how many porn actresses would describe having sex every which way with streams of men as the golden years of their lives. Readers will notice that I have not mentioned the male actors, but they would have enjoyed it wouldn't they?

The plot, such as it is, concerns Buddy (Jon Martin) who cannot attract a girlfriend and who wishes he was more like his friend Mickey, played by Randy West who is a hit with the ladies. Mickey is the luckiest guy in the world, having the gorgeous Victoria Paris as his girlfriend and Buddy imagines what it must be like being Mickey.

This being a porn movie, it goes without saying that the women are stunningly attractive. Randy West struts his body-builder physique and Jon Martin looks the typical athlete although it would be difficult to imagine a guy like him unable to attract girls. The acting and delivery of dialogue between sex scenes could have been more convincing but ultimately, this movie belongs to Victoria Paris who, with her taught body and toned complexion is showcased at the peak of her career. Overall a well deserved 8 stars.

Director Anthony Spinelli unsuccessfully returns to the subject matter of his arguably greatest movie, the 1981 "Nothing to Hide" (that memorably starred John Leslie and Richard Pacheco at the top of their games).

This time Randy West and Jon Martin star as the odd couple of roommates in an unsatisfactory screenplay by Spinelli's son Mitch. West does a good job as a lothario, who likes to push around milquetoast Martin, who plays the role as a bit slow (re*arded is the forbidden by IMDb word) roommate who idolizes West and takes his condescending insults. West f*cks the ladies and even gives Jon sloppy seconds with lovely (but irritable) Victoria Paris, leading to a very stupid role-reversal trick ending. Perhaps son Mitch thought that ending was clever -for me it is 100% a groaner.

All three actresses are hot, Paris as Randy's girlfriend, Tianna as a side piece for him, and Cheri Taylor as a phone-sex girl who Martin imagines making love to. Wouldn't you know it: AVN gave Martin a best-actor award, utterly phony, for his mediocre acting here.