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Alan Furnace is a school teacher who's only joy in life is his late-night slot on hospital radio where he can play the light jazz he loves so much. Seeking more excitement in his life, he takes an interest in a collection of people in a local pub who the barman describes as "criminals". Despite this Alan approaches the woman of the group – the sexy and charming Beatrice, but is surprised when she responds to his advances. As he gets to know her, he uncovers a damaged soul with a murky past and dark present that perhaps he would be keep out of; however, as much as he is put off he is drawn in and soon finds himself involved deeper than he had ever planned.

I'll be honest and say that I was only drawn to this film by the strange title; other than that I had no idea what it was about but decided to give it a stab anyway. However the film seems to be aiming for a mood rather than a narrative and, as a result, this film is more about the tone and feel and thus it fails to really engage because the story isn't there. Well, there is a story but it comes second to the mood and it isn't well developed, is full of illogical holes that just don't convince and feels like a mishmash of other films' ideas. It is interesting at points but ultimately it doesn't work. The film tries to be seedy and introspective, using smoky rooms, jazz and crime as motivators and the "normal guy" as our way in, but even this doesn't totally work and elements of it failing make it feel like it has all been forced from the start – certainly the choice of the jazz music is way off.

However, as the title suggests, the film is more about Beatrice than the other characters and, as such, it is interesting enough even if she isn't as well developed a character as a "character driven film" would usually require. The performance from Argento is good and she has a real sexy presence that is more than just her taking her clothes off for the cameras – it is an aspect of her character that the film uses well. Harris is every bit as bland as the music he plays and he is the reason why I never bought the main relationship once – OK, she's after a "nice guy" but would she go for someone so very bland? The rest of the cast are colourful enough and do OK work with very basic material; Rhys-Meyers is good, Everett does his usual lazy, bi-sexual performance, Hart has a small role and the rest are just basic "East End thug" sorts.

Overall this is a film to watch for the sexy, dark presence of Argento and that alone. Outside of her, the narrative is pretty weak and never really convinced me or involved me; the dramatic fireworks come and go without really doing much and by the end I was pretty bored by the whole affair. Argento and some of the support cast make it worth a go but, like Harris and his type of jazz music, this film is consistently bland and uninteresting.

Saw this film the other night on cable. Michael Radford's "Il Postino" had played the night before, and never are there two more different films than "B Monkey" and the other one! The novel by Andrew Davies was a joy and it's translation to the screen suffers because of the adaptation we see in front of our eyes. It appears this movie has been badly chopped up as indicated by comments by Mr. Radford.

This is a film about opposite characters that attract one another in ways that in other circumstances, they wouldn't have met. We meet the nerdish Alan Furnace, a teacher who also volunteers at a hospital where he loves to play jazz at night. He is fond of the great Django Reinhardt, a legend guitarist, whose records one hears on the background.

Beatrice is a young woman with a past. She is trying to get out of that life and the unsavory characters around her. When she meets Alan, she has no clue of what is going to happen to her, but she falls for him. Alan wants to get out of London to a quieter and more subdued atmosphere in which he feels Beatrice will feel happy too.

Beatrice's past gets in the way as Paul and Bruno come to interrupt the idyllic home life Alan and Beatrice have made for themselves, but in spite of the dangers, in an ironic twist, the couple finally manage to find peace in their newly found paradise.

Jared Harris is perfect as Alana. Asia Argento gives a complex reading on Beatrice a role that offers her a lot of opportunities. Rupert Everett and Jonathan Rhys Meyers make good contributions to the film.

The original film score by Luis Bacalov, a contributor to Mr. Radford in "Il Postino", is easy on the ears. The other non original songs are well selected and give the film another texture.

Although Mr. Radford did his best with the film, one can only recommend the viewer to check out Andrew Davies novel that is the basis of the movie.

It isn't quite a genre, but there sure is a tightly related collection of films that rely on an actress to charm us.

The form is simple: find a woman with intrinsic energy, and shape a story to pull that out. We fall in love just like the usually helpless guy in the story. Events surround and threaten, all designed to highlight the specific charms of the focus and show that we (through our representative) will stick with the girl.

Its a simple narrative fold, a trick to engage us in the story. The story is the girl, and the tighter we follow her, the more we are drawn into the story.

The problem of course is that its all designed to pull us in, with nothing of value happening while we are in. The usual solution is to acknowledge that and make a point of the future being empty, deliberately so. So Deckard goes of with Rachel into a void. Its about the staying, the belonging.

There are only three real values in this. Does the girl charm? Is the story and the charming integrated? What's the world they send us into at the end?

This girl is the daughter of a filmmaker who specializes in doing violence to such characters, layering heavy noir dynamics on them. So there's that. She's particularly seductive in an aggressive way, not at all say, like Dalle in Betty Blue, where we the viewer are complicit in the seduction. Dalle matters. We carry her away after the film.

Our girl here is nude a few times as if that matters a lot. The hapless guy is a radio storyteller, teacher, musician, champion of social justice as if we needed more than one anchor.

She's also a wonderful thief, as if we needed some "Ms 45" seduction, that sort of ping when the sex is with someone who has killed. So its all overloaded.

The last 20 minutes is close to lovely. Its been done before, this business of painting a derelict room in the wild. (I recently saw it to good effect in Stromboli.) Our girl turns lovely in the country. But its the sideshow with two gay friends that makes this worth watching.

These guys are played by Rupert Everett and Jonathan Rhys Meyers. If you study narrative, you'll appreciate how this backstory supports the whole. Its quite lovely because she is most sexual, nude and loved when in the company of these men. It gives her an excuse to show us that she is inherently seduction, not deliberately so. It provides a footing for love that is outside of sex, and though based on obsession and addiction transcends them by using them.

Everett really seems to understand this. Its his best performance by far. You almost fall in love with him instead of her by misdirection, because that's where the passion is. So it works, sex without sex, love by capture.

Ted's Evaluation -- 3 of 3: Worth watching.

This movie is basically carried by the two leads (particularly Asia Argent, daughter of Dario Argento) and by Rupert Everett in a supporting role. The script is average and the plot a tad too obvious at times, but Argento catches fire on camera and does a very good job. If you like action-thrillers, by all means watch thi one. Recommended.

The first time I saw "B. Monkey" (at the Ghent Film Festival in 1998), I was amazed at how many people had come to see this action movie starring Asia Argento. Of course it wasn't because of Asia's charismatic performances this movie was so popular, but because it was the latest film by Michael Radford, director of "Il Postino" (together with "Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amélie Poulin" the longest running movie in the last ten years - well, in Antwerp anyway). From "Il Postino" to "B. Monkey" was a weird step and perhaps one of the reasons why "B. Monkey" gets so many negative reviews.

I'm well aware that this movie is a male-oriented vision of escapism, but when the result is a movie like this, one wants to take a lot for granted.

"B. Monkey" was based on a novel by Andrew Davies who has been writing since the late 60s and has penned many scripts for well-known productions such as the script for the "Bridget Jones Diary" and the lesbian BBC drama "Tipping The Velvet". He knows how to tell a story and perhaps this is why, in my opinion, "B. Monkey" is so much better than the usual drama where a delinquent girl meets an honest man and decides to better her life (genders may be changed here). Even though you can predict the big lines of the story, you're still surprised at certain plot changes.

Alan (Wayne Wang favourite Jarid Harris) and Beatrice (Asia 'daughter of Argento) couldn't be further apart: she's a bank-robbing criminal, he teaches poor kids and has a jazz show on hospital radio. Once again something that makes you realize that this movie walks a thin line between good cinema and a third-rate tv's movie of the week. Believable acting by Harris, Argento and, not to forget, Rupert Everett helps the movie to stay on the right part of that thin line.