Bongwater

When the opening credits began to roll for "Bong Water," I was beside myself with glee. Luke Wilson? Jeremy Sisto? Andy Dick? It's too good to be true, I thought. I was right. This movie is a complete waste of time, not only for viewers, but for those who actually participated in its creation. Honestly, the studio exec who gave this film the green light should rethink their career choice. The story revolves around the budding (no pun intended) relationship between David, a mellowed out pot dealer played by the ever-charming Luke Wilson, and Serena, a leach who gives all women bad names played terribly by Alicia Witt. The evolution of their relationship spans a three-week time period, and for those of us living in the real world, that was hard to swallow. The two get together based on Serena's desire to promote David's pot-induced art work. Within a few weeks time, though, she's scamming her way into someone else's life, with unbelievable results. In all, this movie has no plot, no strong story line, and no reason to ever grab an audience's attention. Alicia Witt, who could stand to take some acting classes, is truly unbelievable and hard to watch. I don't care if she's a "real" red head and all men love that... those of us who can see past the carrot top see that this actress (and I use that term loosely) should go back to school and find a different career. If you are going to see this movie (and really, you should run screaming if presented with the prospect), look forward to light-hearted and silly performances by Andy Dick, Jack Black, and Brittany Murphy, though they aren't enough reason to actually sit through this 97-minute bore. You are better off catching Dick's performances in other quirky flicks, or Black's work in "High Fidelity" or "Tenacious D," or Murphy's fun performances in "Drop Dead Gorgeous" and "Clueless." If you are truly dead set on a stoner flick, check out "Friday", "Half-Baked", or "Homegrown." "Bong Water" hardly even touches on the topic of the title.

I have a soft spot for the Stoner genre - I can't help it. And, unlike some of the posters about this film, I really enjoyed "Half-Baked" - it was good-natured and humble. Though the cover for "Bongwater" gave me impression of those indie movies given a shamelessly misleading advertising "angle" by companies eager to earn back even a third of the money they spent on it, I took a chance because I like Jack Black and Luke Wilson and there's always room for one more stoner movie. Bad idea. Not a stoner movie (the drug sequences are uniformly embarrassing), not a comedy, and never affecting, "Bongwater" stinks; blighted with a strained script, unfocused direction, and the kind of nebulous yet righteously sadistic morality that belongs in a Joel Schumacher opus, not an indie film. Even more disturbing, this movie shook up my opinions about actors I'd always thought I liked. Luke Wilson, so laconically charming in Wes Anderson's movies, is wooden here, the usually amusing Andy Dick is boring, and comic god Jack Black appears in only one scene that even begins to make proper use of him. And then there's Alicia Witt - I liked her OK in "Cecil B. Demented," but her performance in "Bongwater" is so excruciatingly pretentious, bratty, and shrill (she must have attended the Liza Minelli school of acting) that I pledge to never again watch another movie in which she appears.

Bottom line: I'd take the most braindead of stoner comedies over this tone-deaf, small-minded, and almost utterly unfunny movie. Even if you're a Tenacious D completist, think hard before you spend money on "Bongwater."

I liked it, it was really off the wall, many very funny scenes, and wonderful dialogue throughout. Maybe it's just because I used to love a red headed trouble loving woman, this was a fun movie. No one got killed, only one short scene that involved any violence. Not as good as High Fidelity, not as weird as Clerks, but way better than usual.

Fans of movies such as "Half-Baked", "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas", and "Orgazmo", should see this once in their lifetime. Don't be fooled by poor reviews. This movie is the best vehicle for Jack Black's obscure comedy I have seen to date (07/2005). Inter character relationships and general plot progression are over emphasized and simplified in a camp like fashion that, reminds me "Cheech and Chong". Sometimes this is done at a sacrifice to depth, but come on if I wanted to watch "Fight Club" or "Lord of the Rings" I would have. This movie only does one thing well, as so many movies do today, but that doesn't make it dull. I recommend this only to viewers who want to have some friends over, eat a big meal, get "into" the movie, and laugh at potheads being potheads.

I read many of the other review before adding my comments, so the net result may be a review of the reviews more than commentary on the movie itself. What a twisted, postmodern web I weave, huh?

The first point I would like to address is criticism of the plot - sure it meanders a bit, but it seems more cohesive and lucid than the lives of the stoners this movie illustrates. Also, there is a pretty clear parallel between the stoner sensibilities of the characters and the way the movie was directed. Without giving too much away, I can say that the movie is about inertia. And sometimes the movie is similarly inert. To me this does not challege the the viewer's imagination too much.

There are far more challenging movies out there, even in the same genre (if there is in fact a stoner/slacker genre) - well, Slackers is a good example. It has virtually no plot, no Jack Black comedy payoff, and yet it is a good film. Bongwater, although it does not rely on the same devices, is a good film for the same reasons.

The writing seems to be perfectly good. But there is no accounting for taste. It was not sublime, but neither was it conspicuously bad. I think the characters are rendered well too. Even the smaller parts played by Andy Dick and Jeremy Sisto have a proper amount of complexity to them.

I'll sum up by saying that I think the disappointment I have read here is a reflection of expectations of the movie and the movie not aligning to some viewers' satisfaction. So if you have not read the book, or you have not seen the trailers, and you don't have unrealistically high expectations hot chicks in daisy dukes, prepare to be amused. Excepting most of the scenes Brittany Murphy is in.

I give it a solid B+