Night Train to Murder

In 1977, Morecambe and Wise were at the top of their game. Their Christmas Show of that year was watched by a staggering 28 million people. They had become a national institution.

So what made them quit the B.B.C.? Money? No, there was more to it than that. Thames Television had a feature film division - Euston Films - and Eric and Ernie, unhappy with their earlier big screen offerings, wanted a second bite of the celluloid cherry.

The result was 'Night Train To Murder' which, astonishingly, was made on videotape. Set in 1946, it stars our heroes as two down on their luck entertainers. Catherine, Eric's niece, turns up at the theatre where they are performing. Hiding in the wings is a masked assassin...

Sensing a chance to make some money, the lads appoint themselves her 'guardians'. Sinister lawyer Mackay goes with them to Scotland and here we get one of the film's few funny scenes as Eric and Ernie's Poker hands change each time their train enters a tunnel.

At Austin Hall, they encounter a cast of likely victims/suspects, amongst them battle axe Lady Flora, Velda the vamp, a Lurch-style butler and Kenneth Haigh in a variety of roles. Before you can say 'Cluedo', bodies fall out of closets, windows fly open, lightning flashes across the sky, and rats scurry in the basement.

On paper this all must have looked good. Alas, instead of being another 'The Cat And The Canary', it has more in common with Gene Wilder's 1986 turkey 'Haunted Honeymoon'. Eric and Ernie ( who co-wrote the script with director Joe McGrath ) made a mistake in trying a parody a genre exhausted through over parody. Everyone from The Two Ronnies to Frankie Howerd and Michael Palin has had a go at this subject matter at one time or another. With mostly greater success. Besides, Eric and Ernie were getting a bit long in the tooth by 1983; Eric in particular looks tired, which isn't surprising as he had recently undergone a heart operation.

But what really sinks the film is Joe McGrath's inept direction. His misjudges the mood of every scene; the scary bits don't scare, the funny bits...well, work it out for yourself. Despite the odd amusing moment, this misfires on all levels. Eric thought so too; it wasn't screened until well after his death. It was only sympathy for the loss of a great comedian that stopped this from being torn to pieces by the critics and public.

There are those who say the comedy of Morecambe & Wise did not translate well to the big screen. People who know about this sort of thing tend to disagree. The 1983 romp "Night Train To Murder" was actually made for TV; it stars the guys as themselves, and is set in the aftermath of the Second World World. Eric's niece turns up out of the blue followed by a dodgy solicitor who tells her she is one of the heirs to a £10 million estate. That was when £10 million was worth £10 million! So off they all go to Scotland where someone doesn't want her or any of the other heirs to get their hands on the money.

Forget about the silly plot, the gags come fast and furious, and not only from Eric. You may not understand the in-jokes, like the lawyer Mackay played by Fulton Mackay, but quite a few of Eric's jokes are near the knuckle.

Does it have a happy ending? Sadly, Eric died the following year too young at just 58; Mackay three years later at 64. Ernie Wise lived to a reasonable age of 73, but their legacy will live forever.

As Morecambe and Wise films go as a comedy this isn't there best but still a good film all the same, as a thriller it's a tad lacking and I believe the comedy suffers to try and give it a thrillers edge. The acting isn't totally up-to scratch, by all the cast, the few gags that are in it are liberally spread, and there but if you blink you will miss them. You can tell parts were dubbed, and only true Morecambe and Wise fans will appreciate this film. Seeing that I am not heavily in to thrillers and haven't read any books of which this "send-up of some of the great thriller writers, including Edgar Wallace, Raymond Chandler and Agatha Christie" is based on, so I may have missed some of the gags. Even though it's not the best of the films they made together but worth a watch!

I remember seeing this TV film when it was first broadcast. I can't believe Morecambe and Wise finished up making this nonsense. They were lumbered with average material, as were the supporting cast. The story is about as clichéd as it gets: the gathering of a family for the reading of a will at a large country house. There's murder afoot, along with secret passages, a master of disguise, foggy nights and family skeletons. It's clearly a pastiche of traditional crime fiction. Authors like Agatha Christie and Edgar Wallace spring to mind - except they made the above clichés entertaining and thrilling. Eric Morecambe does not look well but he's a real trooper.

0/10 for the film, the pacing and everything else to do with it. 10/10 for Eric and Ernie and Fulton. Eric and Ernie can do no wrong (though they tried hard with this one.) Their other films, especially That Riviera Touch and The Magnificent Two are leagues better, both in plot and production values.

Having grown up with them (and having seen them on stage in Bristol and meeting Ernie at the stage door - "Eric's sent me for the car") I will forever hold them close in my heart but, like watching Muhammed Ali fight too long, this film is way below their best and a sad way to bow out. Still, giants in their day.