- Josh: The candy belongs to... Seymour Butts.
- Tony Perkis: Seymour Butts? Seymour Butts? Who's Seymour Butts, hmm? Who's Seymour Butts?
- Josh: Nobody's seen more butts than you, Uncle Tony!
- [Josh is posing for a "Before" picture, and by doing so, he put his finger in his nose]
- Lars: Please put your fat finger down!
- [Josh does so, and turns to the wall and stretches the "Before" sign across his bottom, causing Lars to get so aggravated that he snaps the camera valve in his hand too many times, causing it to not work anymore]
- Lars: [He pushes the valve seeing if it still works, and it doesn't] You've broken my camera!
- Tony Perkis: Did you ever hear the story of Icarus, who continually rolled the ball up the hill? But when he got too close, the ball melted in the heat of the Sun. You're all like Icarus.
- Lars: Now, I must inform you; I have a severely deviated septum. When I sleep I make a very disturbing sound... Don't be alarmed, I am fine. Now! Go to sleep...
- [Tony chases Josh down a hill and Josh gets a leg cramp]
- Tony Perkis: Congratulations, you've just joined the 76% of Americans who forget to stretch before doing any physical activity.
- Tony Perkis: [first time seen] Can you smell it? There's a life force in here tonight. Do you feel it? Hmm? I look around this room, and I see potential.
- [to Gerry]
- Tony Perkis: I see the future chairman of a Fortune 500 company.
- [to Roy]
- Tony Perkis: I see a famous rap artist.
- [to Nicholas]
- Tony Perkis: I see the president of the United States of America.
- Gerry: He's from England!
- Gerry: [writing a letter] Dear Grandma... someone once said, "War is hell." They've never been to fat camp. I knew the food would be bad...
- [shows a revolting-looking lunch being passed out]
- Gerry: ... but even worse...
- [shows Lars stabbing the Blob with a spear]
- Gerry: ... today he killed the Blob.
- Gerry: [goes to the go-kart track, closed and with people putting the karts in a pile] As for the go-karts, well... may they rest in pieces. I'm writing you because nobody else seemed to care.
- Maury Garner: [on the phone] I did not send you to 'go-kart' camp!
- Tony Perkis: [on the PA] Attention campers, lunch has been cancelled today, due to lack of hustle. Deal with it...
- Gerry: Tony Perkis tries to lead by example...
- Tony Perkis: [shows Tony on a bed of nails, and two guys placing an ice block on his stomach] This is the 18th level of the PerkiSystem. You'll all be doing this by Labor Day! All right, do it to it, Lars!
- Lars: [standing by with a large hammer at the block] It's my honor, Tony.
- [Lars breaks the ice block while the campers freak out. Tony is unharmed]
- Gerry: ...but we're afraid to follow.
- Tony Perkis: [nighttime, the campers are around a large fire along with Tony] I know each and every one of you - because I WAS you!
- Gerry: Once a day, the kids from Camp MVP, drive by and make fun of us.
- MVP camper: [shows the MVP counselor and two campers driving by in a motor boat]
- [Into a megaphone]
- MVP camper: You STINK! You STINK! You STINK! You STINK! HA ha ha ha ha ha ha!
- [Gerry and Roy are ducked down in the water]
- Gerry: At night...
- [shows some more MVP campers at the dock carrying cans of paint]
- Gerry: ... they vandalize our camp.
- [Pat is scrubbing it all off]
- Gerry: [looks at Josh's empty bed and continues] At least Josh got out... where there's food. We have to resort... to more desperate measures.
- [Shows the campers chasing cows and shouting]
- Gerry: Tony's arranged a dance with the girls' camp... so he can humiliate us into losing weight. Pray for me, Grandma. Love, Gerry.
- Alice Bushkin: Harvey and I are saddened and dismayed to announce that we are no longer the owners of Camp Hope.
- [the whole crowd gets shocked in disbelief]
- Harvey Bushkin: Sometimes, in life, things don't work out the way you planned, and in those situations, sometimes you file chapter 9 bankruptcy.
- [shreiks in agitation]
- Harvey Bushkin: [struggling to get his voice] We worked our whole life, and what do we have to show? Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!
- [sobs]
- Alice Bushkin: Harvey, please stop.
- [to the crowd]
- Alice Bushkin: Okay, kids, out with the old, and in with the new.
- [you hear some sobbing and shocks]
- Alice Bushkin: Now, your new owner is gonna introduce himself in a minute. But, you know what I would like? Please, could you give us just one more Camp Hope "Hi, hi, hiya"?
- Crowd: Hiya.
- Alice Bushkin: God bless all of you.
- Harvey Bushkin: One word of advice, NEVER LET ANYONE SIGN YOUR CHECKS!
- Tony Perkis: Oh yes that was wonderful. So entertaining. The cinematography, the editing techniques. Though I must say, the villain, was a bit... over the top.
- Camp Magnolia Girl: Why don't those guys just lose weight?
- Camp Magnolia Girl: Why don't you show them how to throw up after meals like you do?
- Camp Magnolia Girl: Shut up!
- Camp Magnolia Girl: You shut up!
- Camp Magnolia Girl: [breaking it up] You guys!
- Cody: Sam, did you hear about Josh?
- Chef: Sorry to hear about your little friend, Josh.
- Phillip Grubenov: Did you hear? I found out the truth about Josh.
- Sam: I heard that they kicked him out and his parents were so mad that they wouldn't let him come home.
- Cody: They left him at a bus stop all alone at midnight.
- Chef: He's uh... well, he's dead.
- Phillip Grubenov: He pulled a knife on Tony, and now they have him locked up in a juvenile delinquent center.
- Sam: Now he's living in a park in New York with a guy who has no legs.
- Gerry: No way!
- Sam: I'm just telling you what I heard.
- Lars: [over speakers] Now, its time to meet your new owner and operator. Tony Perkis is a man who believes in you. His life is dedicated to saying things like "YES!" and "You better believe it!" Entrepenuer, a motivator, and a new friend! May I introduce, TONY PERKIS!
- Tony Perkis: Kids, at age 12, I weighed 319 pounds. I had bad skin, low self-esteem, and no self-respect. Now, I eat success for breakfast, with skim milk.
- Nicholas: [gets a sour look on his face] Ugh.
- Roy: Headed to fat camp?
- Gerry: No... why do you say that?
- Roy: 'Cause you're fat. That your dad?
- Gerry: No... w-why do you say that?
- Roy: 'Cause he's fat too!
- Gerry: Well, so are you.
- Roy: I know, that's why I'm going to fat camp. I'm Roy.
- Gerry: I'm Gerry. Yeah, I guess I am going.
- Roy: I knew it! And that's your dad too, right?
- Gerry: Hell no!
- Roy: Well you're gonna love camp, man. Camp is awesome. Plus, nobody picks on you because YOU'RE not the fat kid. EVERYBODY'S the fat kid. Just stick with me, Gerry, because I'm the man!
- MVP camper: Here take it... take it!
- Lars: [over the PA] Pat Finley, please report to the men's toilet. Bring a mop and a plunger... now!
- Pat Finley: Did you talk to child services?
- Julie: Yeah, they said they'd like to come out and investigate but they can't come for two weeks.
- Pat Finley: That's too long. Tim, what did your lawyer say?
- Tim: He said it's dicey, we don't have any hard evidence.
- Pat Finley: Hard evidence? Tony's hard evidence, just look at the guy!
- Tim: It's what the lawyer said.
- Tony Perkis: You've been a good guard, Nicholas. Fair and strong. I want to reward you with this chocolate kiss.
- [holds out the fake candy to Nicholas]
- Nicholas: Throw it over!
- Tony Perkis: Then it would smoosh... we wouldn't want that.
- Tony Perkis: [Nicholas goes to grab the candy and Tony puts him in a headlock] Looks like London Bridge is falling down!
- Gerry: It's a fat camp! Are you crazy? No way! I'm not going to camp with a bunch of fat loads!
- Mrs. Garner: Gerry!
- Roger Johnson: Now that's not kind, Gerry.
- Maury Garner: We're doing this for your own good. We gotta nip this thing in the bud.
- Gerry: I'm fine. This is a joke right?
- [to his dad]
- Gerry: You're fatter than I am, why don't you go to the camp?
- Mrs. Garner: You show your father some respect.
- Maury Garner: First I think we should have a little pow-wow, and then we will call you with our decision.
- Gerry: I'll give you my decision right now. I'm not going.
- [Cut to a jetliner taking off]
- Tony Perkis: First we're going to take an hour meditation break. Then we're going to climb that 1000-foot rock face over there with our bare hands and feet. I know you can do it, I have faith in you. But for now, observe the silence of the chi.
- Tony Perkis: You picked the wrong man to mess with.
- Josh: [sarcastically] Oh, I didn't know I was messing with a man!
- Tony Perkis: Kiss the ground, joker-boy!
- Josh: Hey, would you get your foot off my back?
- Tony Perkis: Shut up!
- Josh: [on the "Camp Hope", aka "Camp Hell" movie which everyone at the camp and all the kid's parents are there watching]
- Josh: Forty push-ups?
- Tony Perkis: No! Sixty! Down! Now! Eighty! One hundred!
- Maury Garner: He's strict.
- Tony Perkis: Let me make something very clear: The PerkiSystem does not work with cheaters like Gerald Garner. OK? How can I sell an infomercial about fat kids who can't keep their piggy little snouts shut? Hmm? Who's gonna buy that, huh?
- Tony Perkis: Attention campers the topic for tonight's discussion is, "Liposuction: Option or Obsession."
- Pat Finley: [to Gerry] Are you ready for the best damn summer of your life?
- [cut to everybody in the bus driving to camp]
- Boys: YEAH!
- Pat Finley: Yeah and is everybody going to behave themselves this summer?
- Boys: NOOOOOO!
- Pat Finley: Good, that's what I expect!
- Pat Finley: [driving to camp] Hey Sam don't lean your head out the window. We lost a couple kids like that last summer. I'm not going to go back and pick it up again.
- Sam: Who wants my head? I don't need it anyway.
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By what name was Pesos Pesados (1995) officially released in India in English?
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