Killers

An embarrassing piece of cinematic incompetence. I've heard more compelling dialogue in laundry detergent commercials and seen better acting in Mentos ads. At no time during this reel of tripe was there even the most vague hint of suspense, character development or unpredictable sequence of events. This was a completely sophomoric attempt at film making and the result was a film with absolutely no redeeming qualities.

Ishtar beware! ! ! !

Killers aka Killer Instinct presently stands with the rating of 1.9. 1.9! Do you know how few movies have a rating that low? It's insane, it's universally hated!

This was actually a movie I've wanted to watch since it's release so over 20yrs later I perhaps had higher expectations than I should have. Rest assured they weren't met, as the rating suggests it is bad but certainly not THAT bad.

Interesting fact, Killers was the very first movie by a certain infamous movie studio. I'm referring of course to The Asylum, the company made famous by consistently bad "Mockbuster" movies.

Killers is original to it's credit but demonstrates that it doesn't matter what the Asylum does, it's going to be pretty terrible.

Killers tells the story of a group of street kids along with the rich blonde girlfriend of one who meet in an abandoned warehouse to participate in a drug deal. Suddenly a limo turns up with 5 suit wearing gangsters who proceed to lock the place down and kill everyone they see.

The concept is fine until you realise the film suffers from that zero protagonist issue. I'm supposed to be cheering for drug dealers now? Screw that. Sadly that is a common issue with movies, especially lately. If I can't care about a protagonist then what's the point?

It's not a 1.9, it's simply not that bad but make no mistake it's what you'd expect from an Asylum film.

The Good:

The concept is okay

Paul Logan is on form

The Bad:

No protagonist

Awful sound balancing

Looks really quite naff

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Bullets don't go in?!

Paul Logan is one seriously scary dude

...but you can see it from here.

I definitely don't understand why anyone would recommend this movie. Not a bit of plot, not suspenseful, not well-made. No point to having made it, really.

Completely forgettable in ever way.

A friend of mine gave this piece of shet, which he got for free at the recycle center, and after reading the description of the cover "In the tradition of Reservoir Dogs" (whatever the hell that was supposed to mean) we decided to watch it... man, was that a big mistake!

The plot is basically as follow: Some long-haired biker-types and their bimbo girlfriends go to an abandoned warehouse to meet with their pal, fittingly called "Speed" (which also seems like his drug of choice), and they split some drugs and money there - they're all criminals, no doubt. But suddenly a bunch of suit-clad gangsters appear, also wanting the drugs and the money, so the gang decides to flee... or rather, they stay in the building and hide, until the gangsters are closing in on them...and THEN (try to) flee! And they also decide to split up a couple of times (which makes it easier for the bad guys to catch/kill them one at the time). Aaand... that's basically the plot right there.

I've seen some pretty damn worthless movies, but most of them have either been free online stuff and/or amateur school-productions. But this movie is truly scraping the bottom of the barrel. Stupid plot, terrible acting, horrible lighting (if any at all), inept direction and super-dull filming. Throw some shet-poor editing and generic background muzak on top of that, and you've got this film.

It reminded me of other terrible films, like Albert Pyun's "Urban Menace" or Karim Hussain's "Ascension", but it's actually much, much worse, because those movies had some redeeming features, like unintentional comedy (the former) or artistic vision (the latter). This movie has NO REDEEMING FEATURES WHATSOEVER. Unless you like watching a bunch of scruffy-looking dudes running around filthy buildings for 90 minutes, of course.

The one thing that puzzles me the most about this movie, is that they actually went and made a SEQUEL to it! WTF, that's gotta be the least called-for sequel of all-time! It's going straight back to the recycle center, I can tell you that much... or maybe even the city dump would be a better ending for it, as I don't want to put anyone else through the torture of sitting through this truly passion-less turkey.

1/10.

After seeing this film, I am convinced that the people who added positive feedback about this movie are either:

a) grateful to come out of their cave and see daylight, much less ever see an actual good movie...

b) a storeowner who bought several copies of this video and are trying to rid themselves of them or...

c) actual members of the production crew on this movie.

The movie was so bad, I had to check the box to make sure this wasn't still in production. The only redeeming quality was the 3 second intro. The dialogue was horrible. Maybe it just seemed bad coming from the either whiny or monotone voices coming from the actors. This is to cinema what SAVED BY THE BELL is to intelligent comedy. Garbage.