O Massacre dos Barbys

Jess Franco's "Killer Barbys" is to the band The Killer Barbies what Aki Kaurismäki's "Leningrad Cowboys go to America" was to the Leningrad Cowboys. Both are movies starring an existing band and both are typical products of the directors. Kaurismäki is known for his deadpan black humor presented in films totally weirding you out and "Leningrad Cowboys go to America" is a weird and funny tale of the Leningrad Cowboys going to America. Franco is known for erotic horror movies and "Killer Barbys" is a mix of horny rockers and cannibalists.

But there's more. Kaurismäki made a sequel, "Leningrad Cowboys Meet Moses", an attempt to make the worst movie ever. To a certain degree he succeeds in doing so. Franco's "Killer Barbys" doesn't try to do so, but it's difficult not to see how many horror cliches you can see in this film: at night you hear the sound of wearwolves, it's often twelve o'clock, there's cannibalism, there are some dwarves, most of the rockers constantly want sex, a semi-naked girl is being chased in the woods, there's lot of blood and someone even ends up being crushed. How much gore can you get into one movie?

But movies like "Killer Barbys" and "Leningrad Cowboys" never meant to be original. They are mainly there to let you know the band exists. And if anything they are much more enjoyable than your average rockumentary. And even though Franco made lots of no-budget movies where anyone can see through the special effects, I suspect him here of making the effects as bad as possible (if you can't see that the dead bodies are dummies, you desperately need to get your eyes checked.)

It is true that Franco could have tried harder and that the movie could have been better, but it's common knowledge that Franco's best movies can't be found in the nineties. Most of those movies are even badly acted, so it's very ironic to realise that two rockers act better than Franco's cast of regulars (Lina Romay, Linnea Quigley, ...). "Killer Barbys" is the only decent movie Franco recently made, so if you want to see some of his later work, this is the best choice you can make. As long as you remember it's a Frankenstein experiment of combining gore and rockumentaries.

By the way "Love Killer" is a nice song.

The rock band Killer Barbies is on tour across Spain when their van breaks down. They are invited by a dark stranger into a dark castle with a dark secret: the countess reached the age of Methusalem by drinking blood of young people. Such as... yes, rock band members. "Killer Barbys" suffers from the problems you could easily predict for a movie that is basically a mere promotion support for a band: poor acting (Aldo Sanbrell is the only exception), low budget, same old story. But it is clearly better than its sequel "Killer Barbies vs Dracula" in the whole atmosphere. The foggy castle is full of strange props like dolls without eyes, clocks, bones, barred windows... spooky! So, if you don't mind the silliness, gore and nudity, it's a "good bad flick". I dare say it even was the beginning of Jess Franco's return in the 90s when he seemed to fade away into oblivion.

In KILLER BARBYS, the rock band of the same name -led by Flavia (Sylvia Superstar)- happen upon a remote castle after their vehicle breaks down.

Said castle is the home of an ancient Countess (Mariangela Giordano) who happens to be a vampire, and she's very thirsty! It's not long before our heroes are being killed off by The Countess' henchman and his eeevil dwarfs!

KILLER BARBYS is another wonky, erotic spook-fest from Director Jess Franco. It contains the requisite gore, nudity, and a semi-cohesive story line.

EXTRA POINTS FOR: The Countess! She's hot, ruthless, and downright animalistic!

Gorehounds will want to stick around for the death-by-steamroller denouement...

This is not a completely horrible movie but it still is one that is about nothing really and all of its events lead to nowhere, making this one pointless and extremely forgettable movie to watch.

I really think that Jesus Franco is one of the worst directors of all time. But fair is fair, this movie is not half as bad as most of the other stuff he has done over the decades. Oneliners like 'worst movie ever!', 'completely unwatchable' or 'uttertrash' really don't apply to this movie.

But obviously this movie is not a great one either. It's not just a problem that the movie it's story is about nothing but it's more so a problem that the the storytelling is lacking focus. There is not really one clear main character and everything seems to happen at random. So the one moment we are having a killing, the other a sex scene and then there is a midget popping up as well every now and then. Why? Just because they could! It's not like any of it is really serving a purpose for its story. Focus Jesus Franco, focus!

Like you could expect from a trashy Jesus Franco movie, there is plenty of nudity in it, as well as sex sequences. Problem I always have with these moments in basically every Jesus Franco movie is that they serve absolutely no purpose and all and it always makes me think that they are only put in the movie to please Jesus Franco himself and to live his own fantasies. Even now, while he is in his 80's, he's still doing this sort of stuff.

The gimmick of this movie is that it stars a Spanish punk rock band in it, called "Killer Barbies" who are basically playing themselves but they were forced to change the title for this movie for the obvious reason. Don't really know the reasons for the band members to appear in this particular movie, since it doesn't seem like the most logical thing to boost your career with, especially not when Jesus Franco is at the helm of it all. But apparently they all had a good time, since they actually made a sequel to this movie, 6 years later, called "Killer Barbys vs. Dracula".

But besides this gimmick, it's a real run of the mill movie from Jesus Franco, that got made in 1996 but actually feels like the sort of stuff he used to make in the '70's and '80's already. Even seems to me they are still using the same sound effects as well, as well as all of the same gore effects and tricks. And they still believe they can shoot night sequences during the day time and think they can get away with it. This is seriously often one of the most distracting things about any low-budget horror production.

Perhaps not as bad as its current reputation and also far from the worst thing Jesus Franco has ever done but it clearly isn't a very good movie either.

4/10

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A Spanish punk rock band named ¨Killer Barbys¨-actual name of the punk rock band- has a car accident while on tour. Excited about their next big gig, instead, The Killer Barbies Spanish punk rock band, have to endure a crucial setback when their rusty old van breaks down in the backwoods. Formed by five young people, two couples, Billy (Billy King) and Sharon (Angie Barea), and Rafa (Carlos Subterfuge) and Flavia (Silvia Superstar), as well as Mario (Charlie S. Chaplin). After a performance, they take a deserted road to the next concert venue, but the car falls into a hole and breaks down. With no way to fix it and lost in the middle of nowhere, they are surprised by a sinister man, the butler Arkan (Aldo Sambrell), who invites the group to spend the night in a nearby castle, owned by the mysterious Countess Von Fledermaus. Forced to spend the night at the eerie castle of Countess Von Fledermaus, the musicians soon realize that the mysterious lady's kindness hides macabre, blood-curdling schemes. As the unsuspecting musicians meander through the gloomy wilderness. Now, a centuries-old secret is about to unfold. Once staying in the old castle and while trying to get used to the gloomy atmosphere of the place, the young people are chased by a crazy killer, Baltasar (Santiago Segura), whose goal is to take the blood of the victims and use it to maintain the beauty and youth of the centenarian Countess. Then the unprotected visitors must survive the hours of darkness and the macabre threats of a mysterious contessa (Mariangela Giordano of The Night of Terror, 1981) and his underlings.

A below average film by prolific Jesús Franco, including chills, nudism, sex scenes and lots of blood and gore. This is another low-budget "exploitation" film by director Jesús Franco, with the same messy characteristics already known from his long filmography, with a script, also of his authorship, superficial and full of holes like a cheese and the same old clichés. The scenes with the band playing are very pathetic, as well as the actions of the brainless young people, who deserve to die painfully. In Killer Barbys Franco uses his artisanal trademarks, such as: zooms, nudity, close-ups on objects, making the film in the 'do it yourself' (DIY) style and managing to work extraordinarily quickly with a very low budget. This is a slightly entertaining European horror movie by packing absurd situations and cheesy frames. It's a 1996 movie, but it looks like the same thing Franco did in the 70s. So, what arouses the interest of lovers of crude horror films are the always welcome elements of gothic atmosphere, with the scary castle shrouded in thick fog, the threatening butler, the chases in a ghostly forest, the bloody deaths with mutilated bodies hanging inverted to bleed like pigs slaughtered in slaughterhouses, and the countess who keeps a diabolical secret about her eternal youth. And it is worth highlighting, among the amusing clums, the scene of death by crushing by a steamroller, produced with practical effects and far from the artificiality of computer graphics. Stars the ferocious Silvia Superstar , leader of the punk rock that had a fleeting and passing success in the nineties . The Spanish band "Killer Barbies" exists in reality and was created by vocalist and guitarist Silvia Superstar and drummer Billy King, being invited to participate in Franco's two films. But, to avoid problems with the rights to the Barbie doll brand, the band had the name slightly changed in the films to "Killer Barbys". And accompanied by two B-stars: Aldo Sambrell and Mariangela Giordano who at her 59 provides some erotic scenes, as well as Franco regulars such as: Charlie S. Chaplin, composer Daniel White and Rosa Maria Almirall or Lina Romay as film editor.

The film feature was poorly directed by prolific Spanish filmmaker Jesús Franco or Jess Frank or Uncle Jess. Jess Franco himself directed another lousy sequel in 2002 called Killer Barbys vs Dracula. This was one of director Jess Franco's final productions shot on film stock before he switched to shooting on video in the late '90s to reduce costs. Most people agreed that some of Frank's work was passable, but most were botched films. Jess was a Stakhanovite and restless writer, producer and director who made more than 200 films. His career spanned more than 50 years with some successes and many failures, making all kinds of genres: thrillers, adventures, action and with a penchant for horror and erotica. Jesús used to sign under a pseudonym, among the aliases he used besides Jess Frank or Franco Manera, were the following: Frank Hollman, David Khune, James P. Johnson, David Though, Clifford Brown, among others. He was a prolific filmmaker, directing many terrible films, as well as frequently releasing several titles at the same time. In his early days he soon applied all his knowledge and experience as an assistant director, musician, editor to his debut as a feature film director: We Are 18 Years Old (1959). His Succubus (1968) was nominated for the Berlin Film Festival, and this event gave him international reputation. His career became increasingly consolidated in the following years, and his inexhaustible creativity allowed him to tackle films of all genres, from B-series horror films to pure hardcore sex. However, he made some passable films, such as: ¨The Terrible Dr. Orloff, The Bloody Judge, Count Dracula, 99 Women, The Blood of Fumanchu, Faceless¨ and a few more. And many of them with very strong cuts and double versions. Rating 3.5/10. Inferior and below average exploitation film. Only for Jess Frank completists.