Verão Ardente 2

I wished I had commented on this long ago but since Jeff Conaway was, apparently, on the oblivion express it remained beneath contempt. Since his stunning comeback in recent years I feel obliged to call the gentleman out ("gentleman" isn't the word I originally used). Ed Wood didn't know any better and people "trying" to make bad movies dwell in their own circle of hell but this movie always seemed to me to be an egregious example of Hollywood at its worst (nonsense, naked women and a benighted attempt to cash in on Jessica Hahn's fleeting moment in the spotlight) and so I present to you... Bikini Summer II (was there ever a I?) perhaps the least essential movie ever, even from an economic standpoint of providing jobs and presumably some employment for those involved.

Bikini "comedies" were a dime a dozen in the 80's & early 90's usually light on story, heavy on skin. Low budget ninety mins or less flicks producers could pop out and easily sell to a horny male audience. 'Bikini Summer 2' fits this description to a tee, but dials up the cheese factor. If you can stomach some laughable life lessons, many montages with the T&A this one isn't a total loss.

A rich man hits homeless Joshua (Robert Miano) with the limo and his young bikini prone daughters (Maureen Flaherty, Melinda Armstrong) decide to help him out. At first dad doesn't care because he's busy cheating on their tv home shopping addicted mom. It's when the girls reopen a restaurant as a means to help all the homeless peoples that he launches a plan to do something about the situation once and for all.

Did you read the plot description? Ok, good. There's mild surprises on route to a sappy feel good ending, but in between is a lot of bikinis. Many times the lovely thong variety at the beach, in water and topless. The intro is a montage of that complete with closeups. The daughters are nice to look at as are models Tracy Dali as the family's Spanish maid Anita (complete with french maid uniform, cheesy accent) and Avalon Anders as a busty blonde dominatrix.

I haven't seen other entries in the 'Bikini Summer' series and I probably don't need to unless someone tells me otherwise, but the tone here was pleasant, light hearted. That along with a healthy quota of boobs made it a harmless one time watch. A flashback to simpler times.

This movie is a godawful, terrible piece of trash that features long periods of absolutely unwatchable dreck. HOWEVER, buried in this movie are five or six killer scenes featuring one Avalon Anders, a hypnotically alluring blonde, playing a dominatrix who totally rules a man. Confession: Everybody has their own taste, and this is mine. If you don't like that kind of stuff, I recommend you skip this movie entirely. But this woman is just mind-blowing.

This movie is one of the stupidest things I've ever seen in my life!!!! All it was was tits and music. These women are some of the worst actresses I've ever seen or heard in my life! I swear, it was just plain stupid! There is no real plot, no real conflict-no real anything! It wasn't a comedy, it was a porn-no real plot, no real conflict, no real anything. Only the dumbest of males would ever watch this and like it.

This is really two movies for the price of one. First, there's the heart-touching story about the inherent humanity of everyone, including the homeless, ineptly done. Then, there's the basic direct-to-video soft porn sex farce, also poorly done. Splice the two together in an almost surreal fashion and you've got this movie. Other than getting to see some really attractive women naked, there's nothing here.