No Telling

"No Telling" will not appeal to the "jump out and scare you" crowd. It will be appreciated by those viewers who like some intelligence with their thrills. The story involves a researcher and his wife taking a farm property for the summer so the husband can do undisturbed animal research in a huge barn on the property. Soon their relationship begins to deteriorate, as his bizarre animal experiments escalate. The acting is mostly believable, character development is good, and some of the visuals are quite creative. The entire film is edgy and at times frightening. This is a mad scientist film that makes sense, with disturbing images that will linger for quite a long time. - MERK

This is a low-budget movie that certainly has the look and feel of a low-budget movie. Marketed APPARENTLY as a "horror" movie, there is NO horror and very little even "horrific" except for the pretend cruelty to animals depicted throughout the movie.

The movie, thankfully, stars the very talented Miriam Healy-Louie, in what, sadly, appears to be her only acting credit. Yet, it was her "journey" that prompted me to watch to the end.

The movie has an unsettling atmosphere throughout, though never enough to be suspenseful or thrilling - or even creepy.

We're left anxiously awaiting what the devious husband is doing in the barn-turned-laboratory THOUGH we're given something of a preview when the wife finds research photos, at which point we can surmise that the "big reveal" is unlikely to be that earth-shattering.

There is the hint of an affair that never happens.

All this being said, I cannot recommend this movie to anyone looking for an entertaining or intriguing horror movie.

I became interested in this movie after seeing Depraved, Larry Fessenden's latest effort, especially after seeing thematic comparisons being made between the two films.

No Telling's plot is based on an intriguing idea and it tries to make a point about science and playing God, but ultimately it ends up being a pointless story. Nothing of note happens for much of the runtime, except for one powerful scene, and the acting is quite weak.

If you've ever driven up the I-5 from L.A. to San Francisco, you know how long, boring and unentertaining it is. Well, the very same thrills and expectations can be achieved by viewing the film NO TELLING. One major difference: the I-5 takes you somewhere, while this film goes absolutely nowhere. It centers around a scientist and his girlfriend escaping the city life for the serenity of the country. In this peaceful setting, he carries out mysterious experiments in the barn while she befriends the locals, including Alex Vine, an ecologist trying to help farmers with the dangers of pesticides. Her and Vine strike up a friendly yet non-physical relationship. Meanwhile, the mad scientist boyfriend becomes impatient with his corporate sponsor's lack of providing live specimens for study, so he decides to capture his own. I was beginning to think this was a political movie aiming to please animal rights activists, but it just didn't add up. As the film goes along, you wonder if you are on the I-5 and if an exit is in sight to release you from the boredom this film has produced. There are also these surreal scenes filmed with an odd camera filter, giving it a grainy super-8 look. Unfortunately, these scenes leave that dry taste in your mouth: What was that all about? Well, if you would like to watch a film that has no idea what it's trying to say and have a few dollars to burn, I suggest renting KRIPPENDORF'S TRIBE. If someone beat you to that beauty, then this is the film for you. On the Stevo cheese scale of Yanni to Carrot Top, Carrot Top being best, this film barely ranks a Kenny G.

This is part of what is apparently Fessenden's "Trilogy of Horror," though the horror to be found in this one is minimal. It looks like it was created on zero budget compared to Wendigo, but it is much more watchable due to its original take on a classic concept. Basic plot: Geoffrey, a scientist trying to get a grant for some top-secret work, moves to the country for the summer with his artist wife, Lillian. They grow apart because he spends to much time in the lab. She meets an environmentalist who is the antithesis of Geoffrey, and she starts questioning what exactly it is her hubby is doing in the lab all day. She makes it her mission to find out. Overall, it is a pretty uneven film. The acting is great at times and really inexcusably bad at other times. This, combined with poorly written dialogue, nearly ruins the few sequences that are supposed to be scary. One scene, which presents the viewer with some horrific imagery, has our protagonists responding somewhat lethargically, making it difficult for the viewer to be properly creeped-out by it. Some of the camera work is really creative, but some of it seems pointless. One stellar aspect throughout was the effectively creepy soundtrack. I didn't find this movie to be preachy. The story is really Lillian's, and it is rare to see a healthy splash of feminism thrown into a movie like this. Not recommended for people who cannot watch depictions of animal cruelty. The DVD includes a "making of" doc that is worth seeing.