Os Tomates Assassinos Atacam a França

John DeBello provides us one final Killer Tomato movie and honestly that's probably a good thing.

Professor Gangreen and his incompetent lacky Igor have one more shot at world domination, this time involving an ancient prophecy and the king of France.

Much like the 3rd film there are laughs to be had but most is purile filler and the charm of the first film is thoroughly gone.

John Astin is great once again but the novelty is beyond being worn thin and as much as I think the franchise accomplished something it's definitely best that this film be it's death rattle.

Essential viewing for fans of the series, but as a standalone film this has very little to offer.

The Good:

Brilliant opening credits jokes

The Bad:

Generally very stale

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Singing tomatoes are still better than 90% of the UK top 40

Bra's make great parachutes for fluffy talking tomatoes....wait, what?

The french armies ammunition of choice are baguettes

The Hunchback of Notre Dame isn't 100% certain but he has a hunch

To all of you whom are calling this a horrible movie, get a clue. It wasn't made to compete in the Oscar run. It is pure schlock and silly, corny fun. A good laugh and just funny in a ridiculous way. Take it for what it's worth and don't over think it. Lots of fun. This is such a great franchise. I have seen interviews with many of the regular cast members and they don't take it seriously at all. Just good clean fun and silliness. I guess it doesn't take much to turn me on but I find them hysterical. L A U G H!!! If you can't laugh at them you need to relax and not take it so seriously. I love the stereotypes and the allusions to other age old stories. It must have been a lot of fun to work on.

Professor Gangreen (the immortal John Astin) has escaped from prison after stealing a prophetic book from the prison library. Now, with the help of his henchman Igor (Steve Lundquist), Gangreen seeks to use the prophesies to fulfill his nefarious dream of world conquest.

This time, Gangreen develops some even stranger tomato mutants, including a two-ton whopper with a mouth big enough to swallow a Volkswagen!

Enter Michael J. Fox (Marc "Skippy" Price), a hapless tourist thrust into the middle of this scenario of ultimate doom.

Assisted by the lovely Marie (Angela Visser), Michael must ascend the dreaded "Tower of 900 Steps" to face off against the putrid professor in his castle lair. That is, if the daily castle tour groups don't get in the way!

KILLER TOMATOES EAT FRANCE! Is every bit as fun as the rest of the films in this silly series. Yes, FT (Fuzzy Tomato) does indeed return...

I felt this movie, though strongly supported by the uber talented Skippy, who, contrary to the credits, has no real name, he's only Skippy, was just poorly thought out. For instance, how would a tomato put on an eye patch? It's oversights like that that make this movie suffer.

On the other hand, we have John Astin, father of Sean Astin, star of Rudy. Just the name makes me laugh. Rudy. It's about a 20 lb boy who wants to play lacrosse for a community college. Or something very close to that but equally unimportant. However, if memory serves, no tomatoes present themselves, so I couldn't care less.

Back to Skippy. Since I only watched about 10 minutes of this movie and then got distracted by a shiny object on the opposite of the room, there's obviously much that I can say. The plot revolves around a young Skippy who is employed in a desert town as a slave, when Liam Neeson comes to rescue him from Chinese aliens and androids. Oh, it's good times.

In closing, I give Rudy a 5 out of 7 for heart, moxy and stick-to-itivness.

I'm one of those people who enjoy bad movies. I rent them on a weekend and give in to the insanity of terrible cinema. At this point, I have respect for every single bad movie I have seen in the past because I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! EVERY MOVIE I SEE KEEPS GETTING WORSE AND WORSE! I've have done reviews of films like A Crack in the Floor and Campfire Stories but I am 100% confident that they will seem like Tolstoy compared to this.

The plot is jaw dropping. A young man and his girlfriend try to unravel a mystery and a daring rescue of TJ, (or something like that, who cares) a rock star tomato who is kidnapped by an evil professor and his vegetable minions who desire the rise of the new king of France and complete world domination. The plot is clearly crafted by Shakespeare himself!

While some might argue that this film is trying to be intensionally funny, the film makers obviously diddn't care if the film was of any kind of real quality. And by extension, neither was the director when the camera man CLEARLY TRIPS OVER THE STAIRS WHILE FILMING. The plot is clearly a kind of parody from the previous tomato films but the level of absurdity still forced me to take 5 minute breaks every 15 minutes.

I've sacrificed 2 hours of my life that I will never ever get back. I have never seen tomatoes this ugly, a plot this terrible, or jokes this awful. God speed.

Grade: 1/10