A Volta do Homem de Seis Milhões de Dólares e da Mulher Biônica

My friends and I were on the hunt for a bad action B-movie for some popcorn fun, and Laser Force (that's the title in Sweden... yeah, those are English words. Your point?) seemed to fit the bill. Boy, were we wrong. The plot moves at the pace of frozen molasses, so do the action sequences, and the acting is consistently wooden. I never saw any lasers, nor any kind of force, and certainly no laser force... then again, the Six-Million-Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman appeared often enough. I wish they hadn't. Unless you're into soft, slow-motion shots of people running across summer meadows (fully clothed, sorry!), skip this one.

Did you ever notice that nearly EVERYONE who becomes buddies with Steve Austin ends up having the same sort of devestating triple-amputee accident that nearly finished him off in the first place? Jaime Sommers - Pro tennis player and extremely hot babe. Becomes enganged to Steve Austin... Splatto!! - loses three limbs and an ear in a sky-diving accident.

Michael Austin - Test pilot, estranged son of Steve Austin. Re-united and reconciled with his estranged dad, Steve Austin... Whammo!! - loses three limbs and an eye in a crash nearly identical to Dad's mishap.

Maximillion - Jaime's dog. Yes, that's right - even DOGS who get mixed up with Steve or Jaime end up on the operating room/chop shop table.

First thing I noticed from this is that the eighties really haven't aged any better than the seventies did really. Some of the music and the fashions and the hairstyles now look hideously dated- but somehow oddly nostalgic as well if you are someone who lived through those times. Did we really wear that? Did we really talk like that ? Yes. Yes we did. The film itself is solid enough and does a very good job of picking up where the TV shows ended. This is exactly where you imagined the two main characters would be ten years later. Jaime in particular is doing exactly the sort of work that you thought she would now be doing. It's not the most in-depth of plots and the main focus of the film is catching up with two of our most loved TV characters from our childhoods. Not a classic but if you are part of the generation that grew up with Steve and Jaime you'll probably like this.

I had the opportunity to sit down and watch the 1987 TV movie "Return of the Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman" here in 2022, after having just watched the 1973 movie "The Six Million Dollar Man". So despite of never having heard about this 1987 TV movie, then I had a fair idea of what I was in for here.

The storyline in "Return of the Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman", as written by Michael Sloan and Bruce Lansbury, was fairly straight forward. It wasn't the most exciting or thrilling of storylines, I will say that much, but the movie was watchable enough for the cheesy concept that it was. And I am sure that fans of "The Six Million Dollar Man" or the "Bionic Woman" would find this movie much more enjoyable than I did.

The acting in the movie was adequate, with Lindsay Wagner and Lee Majors in the leading roles. I was pleasantly surprised to see the likes of Martin Landau and Bryan Cranston in a movie such as this.

The special effects in the movie were nothing outstanding or noteworthy, especially since there was essentially no special effects in use at all. Well, there was that strange 'bionic' sound going on whenever Jaime, Steve or Michael sprung into action.

"Return of the Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman" was watchable enough for what it was, though I was only mildly entertained by this movie. I highly doubt, however, that I will ever return to watch the movie a second time.

My rating of director Ray Austin's 1987 TV movie "Return of the Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman" lands on a bland five out of ten stars.

If you can get your head into '80s mode' and accept the effects aren't going to be good this movie holds up surprisingly well.

The original cast as always work well, Martin Landau chews the scenery better than anybody ever has, and Tom Schanley fits the bill for a new Six Million Dollar Man. It's a pity that this attempted pilot never got the green light, a series based around Michael could have been a lot of fun and also given Schanley the limelight he has deserved throughout his career.

The mention in another review of the plot moving slowly is true but again it's a case of getting your head into '80s mode' (or before) and enjoying the journey through the set up, character creation, etc.

It won't be for everybody, but if 70s and 80s shows are your thing then I think you'll enjoy it. It is still a lot of fun.