Open House

Rare-Slashers-Rated-2 described this one pretty well. The early scenes, even though they weren't especially effective, of someone killing themself in a phone both while on line to a radio program, and of the discovery of a very bloody bathroom might lead one to believe the rest of the movie will carry on in that way, but not so. There are a lot of tedious scenes and the soundtrack at times sounds like a very poor TV movie.

The revelation of the killer is disappointing. The killer also gives a rather lengthy speech, yawn.

Still, Adrienne Barbeau fans might like to check it out.

My review was written in October 1987 after watching the movie on Prism video cassette.

"Open House", previously titled "Multiple Listings", is a well-made horror film in the slasher mode, lacking the monsters and fantasy that's back in favor among fans of genre pics. Movie has debuted domestically in video stores.

Joseph Bottoms, returning to a genre he previously starred in via Nico Mastorakis' "Blind Date" (made and released prior to the Blake Edwards film of that title) portrays a psychologist who has a radio show in L. A. called "Survival Line", in which he tries to help loonies a la Dr. Ruth. Pre-credits, pic opens gloomily as a girl, victim of incest forthe past two years by her father, commits suicide on the air during a convesation with Bottoms.

Film proper concerns a serial killer who preys on beautiful women realtors, with Bottoms' girlfriend, Adrienne Barbeau, looking like a key target, especially when the main suspect is a nasty chauvinist pig who is actively sabotaging her work. After several gory killings, pic climaxes with Barbeau taken hostage by the real killer (who's been calling in to Bottoms' programs regularly, monitored unsuccessfully by the police). Motive pushes film ino black humor territory: he blames the realtors for the high price of housing in L. A., and displacing him when he lived as a squatter in an empty Beverly Hills mansion after its owner died. Except for the chauvinist pig (who gets his head lopped off) the film adheres to the old-fashioned format of pretty girls getting sliced, not likely to please feminists.

Biggest surprise hee, and helpful for word-of-mouth in the rental area, is that star Barbeau delivers a brief topless scene after seemingly having graduated from same. She and the rest of the cast are likable, with additional pulchritude provided by such lookers as Mary Stavin (also featured in New World's "House"), Roxanne Baird and Christina Gallegos. Pic's weakest point is its corny finale and utterly pointless final scene, which looks tacked-on as an afterthought.

Written and directed by Indian exploitation film-maker Jag Mundhra, Open House stars Joseph Bottoms as radio psychologist Dr. David Kelley, who suspects that one of his crazier callers might be the serial killer currently targeting Los Angeles' female real estate agents. Adrienne Barbeau co-stars as Kelley's girlfriend, a successful realtor destined to come face-to-face with the sniggering, dog-food eating lunatic before the closing credits roll.

In keeping with its real estate theme, one viewing of this silly late-'80s slasher is definitely more than enough: it's extremely dated, lacks original features, and is missing the 'wow factor' so sorely needed in such an overcrowded market. The direction is flat, the storyline drags, there is very little in the way of genuine suspense, and the gore is limited to a couple of unconvincing severed fingers (which are chopped off with a makeshift weapon constructed from a sink plunger and some razor blades!) and a decapitated head.

4.5 out of 10, generously rounded up to 5 for the obligatory female nudity (which comes from a busty dominatrix who takes a nude swim, and Barbeau, who gives fans a brief glimpse of her ample rack), the hilariously camp radio station employee (just in case you're in any doubt about his sexuality, he wears a pink shirt), the bizarre kitten stroking scene, and sexy Christina Gallegos as doomed realtor Pilar Hernandez, who gets the shock of her life when she bumps into the killer.

Like too often the case with 80's slasher flicks, sadly, is the VHS cover of "Open House" a lot cooler than the film itself. The cover image shows the front of a house of which the open door is replaced with a sinister tombstone. If only Jed Mundhra's screenplay was equally sinister and creative! But oh well, my standards for late 80's slashers are generally quite low, and this flick could still be a lot worse. Many of my fellow reviewers around here pretend that "Open House" is the worst bottom-of-the-barrel slasher of the entire 1980's, but then I guess they haven't seen the decade's much bigger turds like "Blood Lake", "Appointment with Fear", "Deadly Games", "Dreamaniac", "Cardiac Arrest", "Sledgehammer", "Hollow Gate" or "The Stay Awake". There you go, all this just to say that "Open House" is bad but not hopeless and actually quite endurable. There are a number of redeeming elements in this flick, like good-looking babes (if you dig typically 80's scream-queens that is), a handful of cheesy gore highlights (chopped off head in the pool) and a pretty amusing (albeit not at all petrifying) psycho-killer. The killer remains off-screen for most of the running time, but you can quickly derive that he is an obese pervert with a couple of awkward fetishes. He inappropriately giggles the entire time and eats cans of dog food! Not the relatively tasty-looking kind of dog food, mind you, but the sort of disgusting industrial junk that I personally wouldn't even feed to sewer rats. For ridiculous reasons that are neatly revealed during the climax, our sick killer targets real estate agents in the wealthier neighborhoods of Los Angeles. He primarily goes for pretty and vulnerable female agents, but if they happen to be accompanied by male customers or lovers, he doesn't hesitate to waste them as well. The killer also regularly calls radio psychologist David Kelley to rant on the air, and then learns that Dr. Kelley's girlfriend is also a real estate agent… "Open House" completely lacks suspense and coherence, and too many plot aspects already featured in other movies. The interaction between a maniac and a radio DJ, for instance, is something that I've seen in other movies before. And yet, horror flicks with Adrienne Barbeau are somehow always worthwhile – those who have seen "The Fog" will definitely agree with me – and all the death sequences are rather nasty. Also, some of the houses that these poor real estate agents are trying to sale are really terrific! There's one a house with the most impressive and astounding pool/swimming pond that I ever saw.

Horrible, horrible, horrible. The only redeeming quality I could salvage from this achingly slow and sloppily made excuse for a bad horror movie was telling people how awful it is and summing up the plot for them: "It's about a guy who goes around killing people with razorblades glued to a stick because he's angry about the price of real estate." As an aspiring filmmaker, I'm not sure whether I should cry over the film and time that was wasted making this atrocity, or rejoice over the fact that someone, somewhere, has a money tree and is willing to lend it to anyone with a 50¢ script and the desire to film it.

(to find out the only abomination of a film that could beat this one as the worst film I've ever seen, check out my review for "Hundstage" [Dog Days])