Black Cobra

The ever watchable Fred 'The Hammer' Williamson headlines in this action outing that owes more than just a little to the Sylvester Stallone hit Cobra.

The plot for instance is directly stolen - erm, I mean borrowed from the aforementioned Hollywood flick and involves a group of disillusioned social misfits led by Karl Landgren (Apocalypse Mercenaries/Demons 2) who are terrorising the city with their decidedly antisocial behaviour. During one attack however, a sexy female photographer (the lovely Eva Grimaldi) manages to snap a few shots of our naughty boy in the act as it were. She manages to escape with her life but subsequently finds herself on the receiving end of the gangs unwanted attention as they desperately hunt her down in order to reclaim the evidence she has of them (oh and to kill her of course!)

Where is our main man the Hammer during all this? Well, as it turns out he is given the assignment to protect our damsel in distress. Needless to say - any film with Fred Williamson in it always features a fair quota of ass kicking and this is no exception, although it has to be said that the action isn't handled with nearly as much enthusiasm by the director as it could and indeed should have which is a real shame.

Nonetheless, the film remains at least enjoyable throughout and doesn't outstay it's welcome with it's relatively short running time.

Followed by three sequels (although the final one barely features Williamson in it!)

When I popped "The Black Cobra" into the DVD player, I was in the mood for some undemanding, mindless entertainment, nothing more. Unfortunately, this film cannot even fulfill those expectations. It is overwhelmingly cheap - much of it appears to be set in and around abandoned warehouses - and almost completely uninspired. I bought the entire "Black Cobra Collection" online for 3 English pounds, which means a pound a film, but if the other two entries are of the same quality, and if the other two transfers are of the same quality (well-below-VHS-level picture, often inaudible audio), then maybe the buyers should be getting payed instead! Fred Williamson is always cool, even when he's sleepwalking (which he largely is here) and dubbed (which I also think he is here), and Eva Grimaldi is as beautiful as ever, but this is not the finest hour for either of them. (*)

Okay, this is a VERY low budget thriller. It makes Williamson's 1970s B-films look like "Ben Hur," but if you're a fan of the Hammer, you might find some enjoyment in this Italian import. I picked up the entire Black Cobra series at Big Lots for three bucks, and this first installment is bad, but tolerable. Williamson is a tough cop who rubs nearly everyone the wrong way...except for his cat, Pervis. A gang of not-so-tough looking bikers terrorize the city, and a key witness to one of their murders has the good luck of being in Williamson's custody. Of course, anyone can figure out the rest. The movie looks like it was filmed on the cheapest film stock that was ever produced, and the synth soundtrack is right out of the John Carpenter book of film scores. Still, Hammer is the Hammer. Williamson is not the best actor but he manages to breathe life into this pile of cheese.

This is one of the films on the super-cheapo Brentwood 4 movie DVD set called Dealin Dirty.

Fred Williamson vs. a poofy bunch of 5'3" twerps on dirtbikes. I can't think of one good thing to say about this movie. An incoherent steaming pile. Fred is obviously bored by the film, to his credit he doesn't even try to act (...I dont show up 'till the check clears...got it??). Some of the nameless Italian actors do try to act a bit. Not really much point though, because it seems like someone lost the only copy of the script about half way through shooting.

The highlight of the film is the chief bad-guy. He looks like Pete Sampras' little brother after illegal estrogen therapy. He tries to menace, but no one can convincingly menace in bluejeans that are so well ironed.

There are a few unintentionally hilarious lines, like the almost-verbatim rip-off of the "do you feel lucky punk" dialog from one of my favorite Clint Eastwood flicks. It would have been genius if the lines were exactly the

same, but one of the sub-genius writers must have thought that no one would notice that he ripped the lines off if he changed a few words. Good thinking - that was close.

Overall Black Cobra is, poorly filmed, terribly scripted, terribly acted, and generally idiotic. Worst of all it is boaring.

I just thought of something good to say...Black Cobra is a lot better than the film Dealin Dirty (shot on video) that the DVD set is named for. Just the title sequence was enough to make me flip to the Anna Nicole Smith Show.

AVOID THE WHOLE SET!

Stelvio Massi, the Roger Corman of Italy, cranked out an average of 4 films per year from 1954 to his death in 1994. Considering the haste, budgetary constraints and saturation problems this kind of schedule creates, Massi's films are much much better than they have any right to be.

Black Cobra stars a slightly bloated Fred "The Hammer" Williamson as an African American version of Dirty Harry - Detective Malone. Malone disobeys orders, doesn't compromise with people who he judges to be "scumbags" and is more than happy to contribute a little lead to anybody who asks for it. A female photographer has run afoul of a group of sociopathic, but nicely groomed, bikers and Malone is to be her protector.

Though not original, the story is decently told, and the script, although poorly dubbed, is OK. The acting is about what you would expect from a film of this nature, but some of the Italians are actually good. Nevertheless, the film did manage to cure my insomnia three nights in a row before I finally finished it last night and staggered off to bed in a daze.

For Completists Only.