Ritual Macabro

Christian fell asleep...Hell, I was in it and *I* fell asleep. As Ms. Kelleghan states, most of the actors were not actors, we were writers who knew Somtow and were invited to play characters, some of which he named after us (Ray Ridenour's character is named "Dozois", because award-winning sf writer/editor Gardner Dozois was originally slated to play the part). Me, I channeled equal parts of Roddy McDowell and Thurston Howell III; but Ed Bryant (damn his eyes) stole the movie simply by being Ed. Nobody could top the delivery of "big IL' armadiller." The crew in general seemed to like us a lot, mainly I suspect, because we were all giddy idiots thrilled to be making a film in Hollyweird, unlike, say, actors, who are usually fighting over who has the biggest RV.

However...you watch this thing at your own peril. GF

The delights of this movie lie in the fact that so many of the characters are played by writers of science fiction, fantasy, and horror rather than by professional actors. Somtow's talents as a popular writer are hardly in evidence here, though he is clearly a gifted musician and composer; that really is him playing the piano. The scene in which he rips out the hearts of children one after another is hilarious rather than grotesque. Tim Sullivan brings as much soul-tortured emotion and dramatic range as he can to a silly script; his flailings and roars while being possessed are delightful. Gregory Frost, whose fiction is noted for comedic rage (much like the work of John Cleese and Carl Hiaasen), exudes a haughty if inexplicable fury at everyone around him, while real-life jokester Raymond Ridenour has a great time being himself (while named for science fiction editor Gardner Dozois). Larry Kagen, at the time a bookstore owner,is fervent and rather sweet as a doting husband who rises above his wife's attempts to henpeck him. Krista Keim, as his wife, is totally believable as a crystal-worshipper; according to Frost, she really did believe in the powers of crystals at the time the movie was shot. Premika Eaton delivers every line poorly and was cast because she is Somtow's sister, not for any innate talent; she is, however, pretty. Ed Bryant, a great favorite among horror fans, steals every scene he appears in; Sullivan reports that they had to shoot the 'great big armadillo' scene several times because the two of them couldn't stop laughing (and adds that Bryant was squicked by the scene of his own death). Tim Powers is barely visible as a zombie; look for his red flannel shirt in the zombie scene near the end.

Faith-losing Father O'Sullivan (Tim Sullivan) takes a bus of folks down to some visit some Aztec ruins. Also along for the ride are Tessie (Wendy Webb), his former nun love that he got pregnant, and her foul- mouthed son Ivan (Patrick Roskowick), who is O'Sullivan's illegitimate son. It all makes for perfect timing for some sort of sacrifice to the Blood Star for evil Dr. Um-tzec (writer-director-composer S.P. Somtow). This film gained some notoriety back in the day thanks to a gore-filled spread in (naturally) Gorezone. And while the film looks great in stills, it has many, many problems unspooling at regular speed. Somtow certainly doesn't lack creativity, but his staging and pacing leave a lot to be desired. He will have bits like the trapped characters seeing two people squashed to death by a bus, but they will act like nothing is wrong in the next scene. And there is some REALLY bad comedy going on here. The acting (most of the talent are Somtow's writer friends) leaves a lot to be desired too and the film offers quite possibly one of the worst child performances ever captured on film by Roskowick. When on, the film is pretty fun with some great make up work by John Buechler's MMI company. Interestingly, despite have a wealth of gore, this film is still unreleased in the United States.

Truly one of the worst movies I've ever seen but that doesn't mean it has no redeeming value. I love how Patrick Roskowick's character is a totally over the top out of control ADHD brat who swears like a drunken sailor all the time. In other words, a typical American teenage boy. The kid is feisty, obnoxious and self absorbed but you know that deep down he has a heart of gold. (Just kidding!) When "Ivan" (the terrible) dons his special Aztec (or is it Mayan?) ceremonial sacrifice costume he changes his attitude.

The gore and blood spatter are ridiculously over the top and the "special effects" are as good as in any 1960s 8mm home movie shot with Dad's Kodak by a nerdy teenage boy in the AudioVisual club at school. In other words: Bad! But who cares?

I read an online review that said: "The child actor in this movie gave the all time worst performance by any child actor in history." Clearly the person who wrote that knows nothing about really bad child acting! Patrick's "Ivan" was the Sir Laurence Olivier of child acting compared to some bad child actors I've seen (yes, I'm looking at you, Jake Lloyd!) All in all, The Laughing Dead is a movie I would have never even remotely considered watching but gave it a chance. This movie actually has a few laughs in it. It really does try to be a horror/comedy. Sometimes it's funny when it didn't mean to be but that's beside the point. So, it's bad, but not all bad. As predicted, this was Patrick Roskowick's one and only movie. Too bad. I wanted to see him in The Laughing Dead 2 - Ivan's Revenge.

Mayan horror movies don't exactly come in spades, so it's always interesting to dive into one. Even if it's such a ridiculous affair like "The Laughing Dead". Some priest - currently in conflict with his own faith because he impregnated a luscious nun once - organizes an excursion towards the Mexican boarder to introduce a varied bunch of travellers to some ancient Mayan festivities. The first half of the film mainly consists out of dull character drawings and some inexplicable nightmare sequences. Then, once arrived at the small Mexican village, things start to get amusing as the group encounters some evil Mayan doctor who loves to sacrifice kids to some ancient Death God in order to inherit the powers of The Bloodstar. Or something, 'cause it's all a heap of nonsense anyway. Now, the main reason to watch The Laughing Dead is for the special effects by Magical Media Industries (featuring one John Carl Buechler in their ranks). They manage to concoct several awesome effects & gory killings... There's a bit of demonic possession. A woman rips open her naked chest and tears her own heart out. A guy gets crushed by a bus. Another dude's head gets decapitated & used as a basket ball. The best kill is probably that of one guy who's arm gets ripped off and shoved down his own throat. During the movie's climax the undead come stumbling around and two people even magically transform into two giant, dinosaur-like monsters & proceed to duel each other. You won't hear me labeling this a 'good movie', by far not, but it sure is a fun, demented ride.