La dolce casa degli orrori

In my mind there's an eternal debate ongoing about who my favorite director of all times is. Mario Bava, ...or Lucio Fulci. Whenever I lean towards Fulci, I deliberately exclude some of the titles he directed in the final years of his career. "The Sweet House of Horror" is perhaps the worst, but it's still a genuine Lucio Fulci; - meaning there's extreme gore! And that is peculiar because it's made-for-television with a child-friendly plot.

The start is quite dramatic, with a happily married couple coming home from a night out and stumbling upon a violent burglar who murders them. Of course, in Fulci's world, this means that the husband repeatedly gets his head banged against a marble pillar until his brains are stuck to the wall, and the wife is bludgeoned with a kitchen object until her eyeballs pop out. Classy! The couple's children - Marco and Sarah - are supposedly heartbroken, but they blow bubblegum bubbles at the funeral and appear to be giggling the entire time. Auntie Marcia and Uncle Carlo take custody of the kids and move into their house, but the actual parents return as well, as ghosts and flickering flames, to punish their killer and to prevent their house from being sold.

The aforementioned kills, plus the nasty death of Guido under a truck and a bizarre melting moment during the finale, are the only highlights. The rest of the movie is almost painful to watch, with terrible acting (and even worse dubbing), especially the children. Fulci doesn't bother to keep the killer's identity secret for long, and he gets what he deserves after half a movie already. Why did he bother to wear a mask, anyway? The other half is stuffed with sentimental appearances of mum & dad, shenanigans with bulldozers and obese real-estate agents, and meaningless glowing stones.

A couple moves into a nice country mansion to care for their niece and nephew after the children's parents are brutally murdered one night returning from a cocktail party. Strange things begin happening so the couple decide to take the children away and sell the house. But it soon becomes apparent that the house is full of spirits that are out for revenge and have some sort of connection to the kids.

This Lucio Fulci made-for-Italian-TV horror isn't one of his best to be sure but it does seem to have a bit of its own charm. The overall story is a bit nutty (a murder thriller with a supernatural twist) but I thought decent enough. The English dubbing was God awful as most of these imports tend to be so the acting comes off as uneven and even hilarious. But Fulci fans should check it out just because and those with a fondness for little cheesy a la Italiano might be interested too. 2 of 5

A couple, Charles and Marcia, adopt two tragically orphaned children. The new family moves into the dead parents' beautiful old home and is haunted by strange sounds. Soon, the couple is forced to sell the place and take the kids away, but the house is dead against letting them leave. Learn the blood-curdling truth about the parents' deaths and the shocking secret behind the possessed "Sweet House of Horrors".

Direct by horror maestro Lucio Fulci, this one is really not good one, but you can check it out if you are a true Fulci's fun. About a two children which after they're parents are brutally murder have to go to fosters parents. Story is really not bad but somehow it doesn't work this time for Mr. Fulci.

A couple is killed in an extremely sadistic way, but their souls return to their two orphaned children to caress them, to take revenge on the killer and to mock the relatives who want to sell the house and the one who wants to buy it respectively. Sounds odd for a Fulci movie, doesn't it?

And it really is kind of odd. It starts like a typical Fulci-gorefest with the murder scene which has to be seen to be believed, especially when one considers this one was made for TV. But after this unbelievably violent prologue, the whole thing turns into a fairy tale. There are even scenes that could come right out of a typical Italian slapstick comedy! So, "La Dolce Casa degli Orrori" is an extremely strange mix of genres, and most of the special effects are very cheesy, although the murder scene is outrageously disgusting.

It's not bad, but by far inferior to Fulci's other film in the four part TV-series Houses of Doom, "La Casa nel Tempo", which is terrific (the other two are by Umberto Lenzi and called "La Casa delle Anime Erranti" and "La Casa dei Sortilegi").

Probably under-rated more so due to the lack of people having seen it than anything else TSHoH is still brutally under-rated by those that bothered to rate it at all. If you're a fan of haunted house movies there is plenty of entertainment to be found here.

The plot is a bit weird though, ghosts that run the house and are very interactive with their guests. They aren't subtle that's for sure but at least they get straight to the point and the mystery doesn't leave you wondering its just a bit shallow when the reveal happens.

The gore and blood was pretty good too especially for a daytime tv horror. Just ignore the ugly cover and don't go in expecting City of the Living Dead. Lucio did a good job trying to save a lack-luster script which I think was the worst aspect of the movie.