O Rato Humano

I just gotta wonder how the filmmakers pitched this one to Nelson De La Rosa (at 2' 4" he is considered "world's smallest actor" and the lead in the film). I can just picture it now..."OK Nelson - we've got this REALLY great role for you. I know you've been trying to break into serious acting for a while now, so we're gonna give you the role of a life-time...are you ready for this?...you're gonna play a rat/monkey hybrid freak!!! Isn't that just perfect???". Well, however that meeting went, it obviously worked cuz De La Rosa DOES in fact play the ill-named RAT MAN (which I STILL don't understand, being that he is supposed to be portraying a rat/monkey hybrid - I guess RAT MONKEY just doesn't have the same "ring" as a film title...) and does so pretty competently for such a goofy film.

As you've probably gathered by now...the film revolves around a rat/monkey (or RAT MAN if you prefer...). The thing was created by this strange doctor for...well...for no real purpose at all. This doctor seems to be delusional as he said he was planning on winning the Nobel Prize for his "achievement" - but last I heard, they don't typically give out Nobel Prizes for the creation of murderous hybrid freak creatures, although I could be wrong. Anyway, the rat/monkey gets loose and starts killing people all over the Caribbean island that they're on - and let me tell you - this little bastard really get's around. From the beach to the jungle to a deserted village - you just can't stop the rat/monkey. When a model turns up dead, her sister is called in to ID the body - but it turns out to be the wrong girl (OOPS...). The woman stays around to look for her sister who is supposed to be doing a photo shoot in the jungle. The woman is accompanied by a writer who she just met in a cab(?)and decides to tag along with her for absolutely no reason at all (?!?!?). Their investigations eventually lead them back to the good doctor's home, and that's where the real "terror" begins...I guess...

RAT MAN is actually pretty enjoyable. The plot is completely retarded, the acting is so-so, the ending is hilarious in it's ineptitude, and there's not nearly enough gore or nudity for my taste (although there is a little bit of both). But for some reason, this one is still fun, and De La Rosa as the RAT MAN is probably one of the most perfect casting choices I've ever seen. This creepy little bastard should be in EVERY horror film. Recommended to fans of sleaze n' cheese films - most others will probably find it far too stupid to enjoy. 7/10

Inspired by a song written by the Fall on their Totales Turns album, Ratman is a late era Italian horror thankfully devoid of haunted houses, but unthankfully full of boring stalk and slash sequences.

A scientist on some tropical island has successfully managed to get a rat to breed with a monkey, somehow, and produced a rat monkey capable of poisoning anything it scratches within seconds. This creature of course has escaped and is now chowing down on anything it can get it's teeth into.

This includes the bunch of fashion models led by Werner Pochtath (Days of Hell, Cat o Nine Tails), and his main model, Eva Grimaldi (Demons 5). After another model is stalked and killed and mistaken for Eva, her sister Janet Agren (Eaten Alive) goes looking for her, helped by legend David Warbreck (The Last Hunter, The Black Cat). And basically the film turns into Warbreck and Agren doing the old research on what's happening, and Eva trying to avoid being killed for the remainder of the film. Kind of like Tonino Ricci's Panic, also starring Warbreck and Agren.

Directed by Guilliamno Carnimeo (director of the great Case of the Bloody Iris and numerous Westerns I've never got round to watching) Ratman is full of cheese, but it's also full of boobs and gore, so really, where do your priorities lie? This one doesn't go down the old haunted house road as a lot films do from this era, but on the other hand it becomes quite slasher-tastic in the old 'folks trying to hide from a killer' routine. I have the hiccups. It's really annoying. Really annoying. My wife has a remedy for it but she's in bed.

Forget this film/ Do you have the hiccups? I hate the hiccups. Makes my stomach hurt from##jpepw;/ O cast/muppets

Nelson De La Rosa is absolutely horrifying in his portrayal of a half human / half rat beast that preys on showering women with nice Italian boobs. This movie is a must-have for any true cultivist.

Imagine your flesh ripped by sharp claws on the end of little crazy straw arms, teeth gnawing at your face, blood pouring while your unsuspecting girlfriend showers in the adjacent room, unknowingly flashing bits of flesh... just enough to be torn to shreds.

Any fan of Nelson's should see this movie! You may know Nelson from some of his other popular characters such as The Little Dancing Man, Mahow Mahow, his role in The Island of Dr. Moreau, and various Dominican television shows... and more recently as the Red Sox good luck charm that broke the Bambino's Curse... for real.

See this movie.

Escaped rat-monkey hybrid experiment surfaces in a Dominican beach resort where a fashion photographer (Pochath) and his models have gathered for an extended photo shoot, and the body count soon begins. Kiwi ex-pat of Italo horror Warbeck then shows up with Swedish bombshell Agren to uncover the truth of the model's grotesque murder.

Strictly by-the-numbers slasher movie with the usual villain replaced by a small, rabid science experiment with a taste for human flesh. Underdeveloped and repetitive, it's clear that the plot is little more than a promising outline in need of elaboration. The actions of the characters is at times baffling, with no apparent motivation other than to contrive a situation in which they can encounter the eponymous creature whom despite its size, makes light work of its much larger prey.

For its part, the creature is played with gleeful menace by short-statured Dominican actor de la Rosa although it's obvious he can't move as fluidly as the role demands, henceforth his appearances are often shadowy and photographed either in tight closeup or from a safe distance to try and conceal these limitations.

Gratuitous nudity allied with an extremely bloody, high body count will appeal to some audiences, whilst there's ample suspense, the logic has sadly been neglected and the result is disappointingly half-baked. Pochath, Agren and Warbeck are wasted in empty, largely incidental roles well beneath their talents, whilst Guerra is gifted the more interesting part as the English Dr Moreau imitation, a role in which Richard Johnson would've excelled had it been made ten years earlier.

Predictable and cliched, it's mildly entertaining with a few genuine thrills but also frustrating in its lack of effort, lazily constructed, poorly scripted and should've been a minor cult film instead of the underwhelming obscurity to which it's now relegated.

David Warbeck was a likable, energetic screen personality, but he deserves the John Carradine Lifetime Achievement Award for his sanguine eagerness to appear in ANY project thrown at him with a promise of fifty bucks. Case in point would be THE RATMAN, a vagrant little Eurochiller which inexpertly illustrates the bloody rampage of death and destruction brought forth by a two-foot tall poisonous were-rodent.

The midget actor in the titular role is actually quite frightening looking. He's EXTREMELY small, and costumed with claws and razor-sharp incisor teeth. Regrettably, he's the only point of substantial interest this film offers(besides the presence of David Warbeck, of course).

THE RATMAN is scantly agreeable fodder, and does manage to bring on the creeps once or twice...still, it's ultimately just another bump-and-grind monster mash scored with lousy synth music.

4/10