Turnê Assassina

For anyone who makes the mistake of sitting though this movie: I had just decided to become an actor and I knew very little about it. I was majoring in journalism in Junior college and took a theatre class to get a date with a girl I liked and got interested in acting. I drove a friend to the audition of Terror on Tour (originally called "Clowns") and the director (Don Edmunds) asked me to read. I told him I wasn't ready as an actor to do a film and didn't know anything about acting much less film acting. He cast me and talked me into doing it. I was patently awful. I over acted every word and indicated like crazy. Above that a year after initial filming when I knew a little more about acting they called me back to shoot two pick up scenes (easy to spot as my hair was much shorter--it went from '79 to '80 nuff said). I was told to yell my dialog as there would be loud rock music playing in the background. The other guy in the scene was producer Sandy Cobe who wasn't an actor and couldn't really handle yelling while imagining loud music. In the end they forgot to add the music so it seemed like I was over acting even more than in the rest of the film. When I saw the film I came very close to quitting trying to be an actor altogether. The only reason I didn't quit is that I figured if I could spot how awful I was maybe I had a chance to learn to do it right. The band members were a real band and had never acting before so you could forgive them their acting. Of the rest of the cast there was (in my opinion) one good actor. Jeff Morgan. In filming he actually seemed to be in the moment and connecting on an honest level when you were talking to him. When I saw the film I felt I could see it in his performance. I never heard from him again and don't know what he's doing now but I do think he escaped the horror of the acting in this horror film. Again I hope whoever has to see me in this film will understand my horror that it still exists.

Larry Thomas

The Clowns are a shock rock group who look like a cross between The Sensational Alex Harvey Band, Sgt Kabukiman and your average Goth and like to pretend to stab, mutilate and kill groupies on stage. It becomes problematic when someone starts to actually kill groupies who have come to see the band in real life.

Terror on Tape was made in 1980 and so the shock rock aspect seems a bit passe. It would have been cooler if it was made in the early/mid 70's when Alice Cooper was becoming famous. But, nonetheless, it's still a solid and entertaining yarn. The make-up the band members wear makes it easy for someone to imitate them or to make it harder to ascertain which band member is bumping off the pretty young women who surround the band. The backstage area is also eerily deserted when the band is onstage, and so this also makes the murders easier.

The movie also captures something that you don't see in modern movies that try to portray the early 80's, and that is the amount of wood panelling that was used for interiors. Youngsters nowadays think the era was all pastel colours and neon. It wasn't. It was wood panelling.

Terror on Tour isn't bad, but it's far from being some forgotten masterpiece, either.

Fun fact 1- Alex Rebar, who was the lead in The Incredible Melting Man, is one of the executive producers on this movie.

Fun fact 2- The guy (Larry Thomas) who plays the notorious 'Soup Nazi' character from Seinfeld is one of the band members.

There is absolutely nothing redeeming or interesting about this film. There are no moments even worth mentioning and there were no characters that were the least bit intriguing. It was all shot in the dark and everything was shadowed. Every scene is dark and most of the time you can't even tell who is talking because it's so shadowed you can't see their mouth. The premise of the movie is idiotic. Like that idea hasn't been done a million times before.

Question: why is it that movies that wish to involve attractive women always resort to killing them because of their "morals." Every movie you see with "hot chicks" that are murdered always ends up being because they were thought to be loose women that didn't deserve to live. There's some white guy who thinks these women should die - kind of like that real life case that we just learned about of the guy who killed prostitutes after he had sex with them. This guy murdered over 50 women in real life. Horror movies caught on to this idea way before this guy was busted. Why is this? Is it because we really think this in society? I'm serious, this is not the only movie that does this, there are TONS. I just don't get it. Or is that the only excuse the writers can some up with that enables the viewer to see the ladies topless. After all, any woman that takes off her shirt has got to be immoral and a whore, right? Any woman that is pretty deserves to die, right?

Anyway, despite my obvious disapproval from this rant, the movie sucked even more than that. The music was generic and horrible, the Clowns' outfits weren't the least bit sexy, the characters didn't have anything unique about them, the movie moved really slowly and I found it hard to believe any word that came out of any character's mouth because either I couldn't see which character was even saying it, or because no one talks like that. The writing was bad and the acting was bad. Bad bad bad bad.

1/10. If I could have given it a 0, I would have.

The producers of this crap owe the horror fans a BIG apology.

There's no way they could have been serious. This was a sorry excuse for a comedy. They tried gore for no reason other than they knew the joke was flat.

This gets one star for the idea, and another for the concert scenes. Even though the music was worse than anything I could think of.

Deaths follow a metal band on tour.

Did they do it?

Will you care?

No!!!

Put it back and rent something else.

My review was written after watching a Media Home Entertainment video cassette.

Made in 1980, "Terror on Tour" is a theatrically unreleased stab and slash feature film currently available to home video users. Uninvolving programmer has little to offer horror addicts.

Premise has a hard-rock group the Clowns (wearing makeup reminiscent of Kiss) doing a Grand Guignol-style live act (similar to such trendsetters as Alice Cooper), caught up in a murder investigation when someone wearing their makeups starts stabbing girls for real. The victims are prostitutes, and script rather tediously keeps hammering away at the relationship between drugs, rock music and violence. Filmmakers even have the temerity to end on a note imploring the audience to stop displaying its enthusiasm for violent, "sick" entertainment.

Belying its ile, low-budget feature has no tour, with barely any exterior scenes and the group rooted in one spot. Only a handful of extras appear in the concert footage. Performing is dull, though lovely Lisa Rodriquez has a nice little role as a prostie working undercover for the police. Identity of the killer is obvious early on by the process of elimination.

Biggest surprise is absence of extreme gore, since "Tour" was directed by Don Edmonds, whose two "Ilsa" gore spectaculars of a decade ago have become cult favorites. He may have cleaned up his act, but the result is a failure to meet the minimum requirements of the exploitation genre.