Perfeição

OK, I know this is a bad, bad movie. It's not like I have any "diamond in the rough" illusions about this actually being a good movie that's merely misunderstood. So why is it that I watch it every time it's on? I honestly love watching this film!

Maybe it's the dated 80s setting and the "studly" guys that look utterly homosexual now. Perhaps it's the great lines, like Anne De Salvo looking directly into the camera and saying, "C'mon, guys, make me suffer," or Matthew Reed (in his one and only screen role) saying, "It was love at first sight. I took one look at those tits and my whole body got hard!" It could be John Travolta going through his aerobics routine with a sock in his jock, or Larraine Newman straddling the leg-spreader, proving that not every woman looks sexy in a leotard.

Of course there's Jamie Lee Curtis calling Travolta a "sphincter muscle" three different times. There's also Jann Wenner gyrating his fat gut during the closing credits. How about the pointless scene where hundreds of Boy George fans storm the hotel, or Curtis "deleting" Travolta's article by merely backspacing (What kind of word processor is that)? There's even the premise that Rolling Stone is a serious news magazine - HAW HAW HAW!

I seriously can't recommend paying money for this, but it's worth a watch if it comes on a local channel just for the sheer badness of it all. This is the definitive nadir of Travolta's career (check that...it is better than Battlefield Earth, but what isn't?) After this, even Look Who's Talking Now looks brilliant.

I first saw this movie some years ago on TV having missed it at the cinema, and found it very entertaining. The story and 'visuals', though not fantastic, was I think good enough to hold the shortest of attention spans. Mine included. The film is set in a health club in Los Angeles, with John Travolta starring as an ace investigative reporter for real-life mag Rolling Stone. It also features a brilliant funked-up disco soundtrack, featuring long forgotten artists like Jermaine Jackson, Jermaine Stewart, and Carol Lynn Towns, and follows Travolta's charchter as he writes a piece about the health club scene, and courts one of the fitness instructors there, played by Jaimie Lee Curtis. Unbeknownst to her, he's using her and some of her patrons, in order to write a sleazy story for his voracious boss played by the real Rolling Stone editor. It's not hard to guess what happens next, as Travolta and Curtis fall for each other, Curtis finds a copy of his article on his computer which causes conflict between them, and we get to see some fine acting from Jaimie Lee during those scenes. Travolta decides to kill the story, but his angered boss enlists the help of photographer played by Anne DeSalvo, in order to rewrite it without Travolta's knowledge.

But the best parts of the film, has to be scenes set during Curtis' classes (the visuals I mentioned earlier). Along with the pumping disco soundtrack, these scenes are excillerating to watch - and not just for the sexy hard bodies. When this film appeared again on TV recently, I just had to record it, and watch it all over again. Not because I'm perverted you understand, but because it's so...kitsch, and seems to be indicative of the silly hedonistic LA scene of the early 1980s. It has some truly funny moments also. Watch for the scene where Travolta searches for Jaimie Lee in a hotel holding a convention, which features Boy George look-alikes. It's hilarious!!

A legendary flop and a legendarily bad movie, this mess is part three in a career-killing trilogy of Travolta's that also includes "Staying Alive" and "Two of a Kind". It took him a long time to bounce back. It also stalled Curtis's career for a while until "A Fish Called Wanda" rescued her. The story, such as it is, concerns Travolta, a Rolling Stone magazine reporter, looking for a story angle within a huge gymnasium at the height of the aerobics and fitness craze. He's already working on another more important story, but wants this as a back-up in case an all-important interview falls through. He zeroes in on high-profile aerobics instructor Curtis who has a huge following (which often kisses her on the mouth following one of her workouts!) Unfortunately, she's had a major disaster with a reporter in the past and resists being interviewed for his story. In order for there to be a movie, he must wear her down and get her assistance even though there are 90 other instructors at this mega-gym. The film is very unfocused and disjointed throughout. It tries to be too many things: a reflection of investigative journalism, an ethics drama, an examination of self-esteem issues, a music video crash-course in Jazzercise and, most obviously, a jiggle movie with emphasis on lycra-clad spread legs and tight behinds. The script is so crass and stupid with ludicrous lines like, "You're a sphincter muscle..." (this one is repeated often!) and unnecessary subplots which lead nowhere. Travolta is awful. He speaks his lines with his mouth almost open, stares blankly with no skill at conveying what's on his mind and, in the films most celebratedly horrendous scene, gyrates his bulging crotch at the camera ad nauseam while sweat trickles down his pale, clammy face and body. Curtis looks very fresh and attractive most of the film (if a bit sexually ambiguous) eschewing the huge hair and heavy make-up of the times. Her character is a little too self-righteous, but her acting is better than anyone else around. Wenner, a non-actor, provides a jarring presence whenever he appears because he (along with several other "real" people cast in the film) hasn't got the polish to really sell his role even though it reflects his position in real life (as the founder of Rolling Stone!) Most of the other actors in the film either overact horrendously or flat-line. More importantly, the audience does not care about anyone in the film and so does not care when various events and revelations come about. There is some inherent camp value in revisiting the hilarious workout clothes of the 80's and in hearing the bouncy, tacky music of the era, but the movie is way too long for it's subject matter and the music montages wear out their welcome very quickly. And for all the sweating and gyration, there are no sex scenes in the film. Look out for pansexual Burt Reynolds look-alike (and alleged Travolta bed partner) Barresi in the cast as a gym rat eager to show off his body.

If you're going to watch this movie you have to take it for what it is, eye candy. A cheesy love story about a gym trainer and a reporter. I enjoyed Jamie Lee's acting, she made the film worth watching as she always brings light to her films. As always John Travolta gives his usual performance, if you're a fan of Travolta then I recommend giving this one a try. I do like the deeper meaning/message of the movie, people go to the gym because they believe if they look perfect someone will love them. I don't like that it's stated in the film, "Nothing is wrong with wanting to be perfect, to be loved." But it's nice that the movie has a deeper message then just a shallow storyline.

My Goodness, what a bomb! We didn't drop anything this big on Iraq!

Perfect is the story of a Rolling Stone reporter (Travolta) who trips over his ethics, or lack there of while writing two big stories. His first story deals with a computer tycoon in hot water with the U.S. government for selling his products to an Eastern-Bloc country. This angle is played way up considering the lack of details we are told about the situation. No matter, the story you will remember deals with a swanky health club in L.A.. Travolta wishes to write a piece about how health clubs in the 1980s are replacing the singles bars of the 1970s as the #1 place for people to meet. Take that premise and see how long you can stretch it. Director Bridges apparently thought he could drag it out for nearly two hours and still keep our attention.

This film suffers from a severe lack of focus. There are too many location changes to count. There is also too much running around and too much time wasted on insignificant little things. For example, what was up with Travolta's sudden trip to Morocco near the end of the film. It had no purpose what so ever! Another problem this film has is its tendency to drag out every scene to last as long as whatever cheesy 80s dance song is playing in the background. That gets old pretty darn quick.

This film is also hopelessly dated in terms of fashion. If any guy came into my health club wearing tights or a fish-net tank top, he'd probably get beaten up. Bridges & CO also try to recycle a gag that worked in Urban Cowboy. In that film, there was a scene featuring numerous women dressed up for a Dolly Parton look-alike contest. In this film, we get about a hundred people dressed up as Boy George in a scene at a hotel. In Urban Cowboy it worked since there was a legitimate reason for all the people to dress that way. They were at least trying to win a contest. The scene in Perfect is useless and it only serves to date the film even further.

This film was by no means Travolta's worst. Has anyone seen The Experts or Shout? This film did, however, have his most embarrassing scene. In it, he's sweating away in Jamie Lee Curtis's aerobics class and doing a never-ending series of pelvic thrusts to the dance beat. His crotch has obviously been stuffed with a sock, or perhaps the thing Hammer used in his Pumps in a Bump video. Truly hilarious!

Travolta is a talented actor, but he has nothing to work with here. Jamie Lee Curtis is also a great talent, but she is wasted as well. She looks absolutely gorgeous, but her character is so moody and abrasive that we can hardly stand her. The supporting cast of mostly unknowns fills out their respective stereotypical roles as well as they can.

In all, this is a poor film on all levels. It tries to be an insightful look at journalistic ethics and falls flat on its face. It comes off as being little more than a two hour plug for Rolling Stone Magazine. Too Bad.

3 of 10 stars

So sayeth the Hound.