Hobgoblins

This is a very, very bad film but I can't bring myself to give it a 1 simply because the film never takes itself seriously. It realizes it's garbage and makes no apologies--a bad movie that never tries to be anything more! The film is about an old movie studio that's no longer functioning. When young guys are given jobs here as security guards, they have a habit of dying--and the old guy working with them doesn't do a whole lot to stop this until our hero (i.e., a big wuss) saves the old guy and the oldster tells him about the hobgoblins that live there. These creatures grant people whatever wish they want but end up killing them in the process. A not particularly good deal if you ask me. When these things get loose and attack the neighborhood, it's time to destroy these malevolent pests.

The film is an obvious knock-off of GREMLINS, though with practically no budget and actors who are ALL worse than Zack Galligan!!! But the most hilariously bad part of the film are the hobgoblins which are nothing more than cheap puppets--not much more realistic than ones kids might get from Toys R Us! They obviously are not animated in any way and flail about like stuffed animals--really, really crappy ones.

Overall, there's really not reason to watch this dumb film unless you are a masochist who likes bad films! Don't say I didn't warn you!

This movie is not just bad, not just corny, it is repulsive. Something about Daphne, about the creepy call-girl, about the whole damn (and I use the word literally) film radiates a grotesquery that would offend a brothel mistress. This film makes my skin crawl, makes me regret having reproductive organs, and makes me feel unclean.

One of the things that bothers me most about this movie is that they used such a good concept. A creature that makes fantasies with disastrous results, rather than the cliché Worst Nightmare and the overdone Twisted Wish, is a truly fascinating film idea.

Thought: The reason why hobgoblins need to be killed before day is that they are attracted to bright lights. During the day, bright lights don't show up well, so they could go anywhere.

Count the Hobgoblins: Four hobgoblins drive out of the film studio, and yet at least nine of the pernicious plush-toys are killed throughout the course of the movie.

Discussion Question: If you had a frigid, demanding, unappreciative girlfriend, would you enter garden-tool-combat with a military chunkhead? Explain.

So there's an old security guard and a guy who dies and then there's KEVIN, the world's biggest wuss. Kevin wants to impress his incredibly insensitive, bratty, and virginal girlfriend AMY. As he returns from work to... a random house... he finds his "friends," the sexually confusing red-shorted KYLE and the truly revolting sluttish DAPHNE. They are soon joined by Daphne's boyfriend, the trigger-happy sex-crazed macho lunkhead NICK. And there's the title creatures, horrid little dogeared puppets who kill people by giving them their heart's desire. Kyle's heart's desire is to mate with a creepy, yucky woman in spandex. Nick's heart's desire is to throw grenades in a grade school cafeteria-- I mean nightclub. Kevin's heart's desire is to beat up a skinny thug with nunchucks. Amy's heart's desire is to be a disgusting slut. Daphne's already a disgusting slut, so she doesn't have a heart's desire. Along the way a truly hideous band sings a truly odd song. The hobgoblins randomly go back to where they came from then blow up. "Citizen Kane" cannot hold a candle to this true masterpiece of American cinema.

No matter how you look at this movie, it is just awful.

If you view it as a horror, then it is an unscary movie with the monsters being hand puppets.

If you look at it as a comedy, then you will notice most of the humor falls flat and is just lame.

If it is a romance you will wonder why a guy would stay with such a B**ch!

If you look at it as an action you can't really pull for the whiny hero.

As you can see this movie just fails to deliver anything remotely entertaining. As mentioned the monsters are obvious puppets and this film was another attempt at a Gremlins type movie. This however has the worst looking monsters of that genre. Critters looked pretty good, so did the Ghoulies, heck even the puppets from the Munchies looked better than these. The characters in this film are thouroughly unlikable. The hero is a whiney security guard, his girlfriend is always complaining, they have a tramp friend who has a jerk military boyfriend, and another friend who is a spaz. At one point in the movie the hero and the military guy fight with rakes...this movie is just utterly stupid. I like the scene when they are in the dreaded club scum (which is obviously not a club, but more likely a diner) and the hero tells the waitress that none of them are 21. Give me a break, I am 25 and I look younger than any of them.

Ever seen a movie that actually caused you pain to watch? This is movie is the poster child of that. The only reason I watched it at all was because it was on MST3K. HOBGOBLINS is without a doubt the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life.

The story is stupid, so I won't go into much detail. I don't really remember many of the characters anyway. A loser named Kevin (Tom Bartlett) is trying to make his annoying and non-supportive girlfriend proud of him, so he takes a job as a security guard and unleashes a band of stupid-looking puppets called Hobgoblins, who kill people by giving them what they really want. The way this leads to people getting killed is very idiotic. The hobgoblins go on a rampage which results in one guy getting hurt a little and a car getting destroyed. The ending is also stupid and not worth bringing up.

The acting is the worst I have ever seen. None of the actors went anywhere after this movie, nor did any of them deserve to. The special effects, if you can really call them that, were unforgivable. The hobgoblins themselves are the most fake looking puppets I have ever seen.

Unless in MST3K, this movie should be avoided at all costs. I am only praying that some day the government will burn every copy still around, or maybe use it as a weapon in the army someday.