Hobgoblins

If movies like Ghoulies rip off Gremlins, then Hobgoblins sinks to the new low of ripping off garbage like Ghoulies. These barely-animated furbies have some kind of scheme to fulfill fantasies (which involve basically groteque characters' sex dreams - oh joy), but what that has to do with anything is anybody's guess, except to let the director indulge his kinky penchant for erotica. They show this down in the 8th circle of Hell, one suspects. There's no real plot - just "goblins - kill!" and feeble attempts at humor and a mild attempt to arouse the viewing audience.

Ever seen a movie that actually caused you pain to watch? This is movie is the poster child of that. The only reason I watched it at all was because it was on MST3K. HOBGOBLINS is without a doubt the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life.

The story is stupid, so I won't go into much detail. I don't really remember many of the characters anyway. A loser named Kevin (Tom Bartlett) is trying to make his annoying and non-supportive girlfriend proud of him, so he takes a job as a security guard and unleashes a band of stupid-looking puppets called Hobgoblins, who kill people by giving them what they really want. The way this leads to people getting killed is very idiotic. The hobgoblins go on a rampage which results in one guy getting hurt a little and a car getting destroyed. The ending is also stupid and not worth bringing up.

The acting is the worst I have ever seen. None of the actors went anywhere after this movie, nor did any of them deserve to. The special effects, if you can really call them that, were unforgivable. The hobgoblins themselves are the most fake looking puppets I have ever seen.

Unless in MST3K, this movie should be avoided at all costs. I am only praying that some day the government will burn every copy still around, or maybe use it as a weapon in the army someday.

Hobgoblins currently sits as the 30th worst movie ever made on IMDb and lets be clear it's terrible.........pee poor stuff that makes the average cheesy 80's movie look artistic.

In a cross between Critters, Gremlins & an ounce of Wishmaster this creature feature doesn't deserve its place on that list and I'm baffled why it's there. Movies on that list are usually there because of an actor/actress (Paris Hilton) because it's got a gimmick or an angle that upsets people or non-existent production values.

Hobgoblins isn't worth your time but one of the worst films ever made? Hardly.

So there's an old security guard and a guy who dies and then there's KEVIN, the world's biggest wuss. Kevin wants to impress his incredibly insensitive, bratty, and virginal girlfriend AMY. As he returns from work to... a random house... he finds his "friends," the sexually confusing red-shorted KYLE and the truly revolting sluttish DAPHNE. They are soon joined by Daphne's boyfriend, the trigger-happy sex-crazed macho lunkhead NICK. And there's the title creatures, horrid little dogeared puppets who kill people by giving them their heart's desire. Kyle's heart's desire is to mate with a creepy, yucky woman in spandex. Nick's heart's desire is to throw grenades in a grade school cafeteria-- I mean nightclub. Kevin's heart's desire is to beat up a skinny thug with nunchucks. Amy's heart's desire is to be a disgusting slut. Daphne's already a disgusting slut, so she doesn't have a heart's desire. Along the way a truly hideous band sings a truly odd song. The hobgoblins randomly go back to where they came from then blow up. "Citizen Kane" cannot hold a candle to this true masterpiece of American cinema.

After Gremlins hit box office gold it must have seemed like a really good idea to rip it off. Unfortunately Hobgoblins lacks some of the key ingredients of Gremlins, notably the likable characters, plot, credibility and effects, and Gremlins was quite funny in places whereas Hobgoblins just isn't.

In fiction good writers try hard to make you like the main character, that's how fiction has worked ever since some Greek guy put a mask on and pretended to be someone else. So what character have you got to bond with in Hobgoblins? How about a whiny henpecked little weasel in a dead end job with a totally frigid girlfriend and a bunch of friends that are more irritating than having Vanessa Feltz sewn into your face? His friends include a rake-fighting military tough guy, some weedy gay guy in red shorts and a girl so sexual that the mere sound of her boyfriends car horn causes her to lift her skirt up in anticipation.

The film has one good idea, basically these hobgoblins can bring your every fantasy to life. Sadly this good idea is squandered by the actors sheer inability to act as well as plenty of scenes where they hug plush toys to themselves and try to act scared. There's not much logic to it either, the hobgoblins are supposedly locked safely away in a vault with a cage around it. But when we see it neither are even shut. How much effort would it have taken to shout at a stage hand to close them? Too much for this movie unfortunately.

I couldn't escape the feeling that the people responsible for this film put in the very least effort they thought they could get away with. The poster (shown to your left) depicting a 50's pinup being bummed by a gremlin is pretty tacky too.