Vale da Morte

I was always curious about this film because it is so tough to find, so when I stumbled upon it on Ebay I forked over the $10 and bought it, now I understand why its so rare! This film is SO bad, so terribly written and hopelessly low budget that the ending credits, which show all of the cut scenes where they fumbled their lines, are literally the movie's highlight. The film is about a psychic (Pettyjohn) whom uses her powers with an experimental machine to pull objects from another dimension into this reality. When she pulls in some kind of box like object the military nonchalantly throws it into the open back of a truck with one soldier to guard it, and gee, what do you know? SURPRISE! A kid in a foam-rubber monster costume pops out, instantly kills the soldier with a scratch across his face, then escapes to a nearby city. But rather than deploy half the armed forces of the county to find it and protect the public those in charge just leave it up to Pettyjohn and Ray to find it on their own, but no matter, this movie blows all its credibility LONG before then. This barely escapes being voted a 1 by me only because of unintentional laughs, somebody needs to alert the producers of "Mystery Science Theater 3000" if they don't know about it already! 2 out 10, really, REALLY bad!

This one has some terrible dialogue and sub par special effects. It also has an alcoholic Aldo Ray as some kind of government employee. Angelique Pettyjohn shows off her "assets" in a few scenes but her wig is obvious and nearly falls off! The alien monster is the director's son. The plot revolves around Angelique's ability to channel psychic vibes and transfer creatures (and a tiny little statue!?!) from outer space to the Earth. Of course this is done with the help of a scientist and his laboratory deep in the southwest, probably where many westerns of the 50s and 60s were filmed. A lot of the scenes are shot at night. There's also a little gore and some creature makeup. Good late night viewing! Especially if you put your brain on idle for a while. 3 out of 10 .

My review was written in August 1985 after watching the movie on Continental video cassette.

Made in 1981 and just released on video cassette, "Biohazard" is a silly horror film that slavishly imitates (as have many other low-budgeters) the monster effects in the 1979 hit "Alien". Ironically, pic made for 21st Century release retained its moniker though 20 Century Fox reportedly tried to buy the name to affix to its recent "Warning Sign" film. Postscript is that 20th Fox is itself back in production with the Sigourney Weaver-starred sequel "Aliens".

Thin story has Dr. Williams (Arthur Payton) experimenting in his remote desert research lab on matter transfer, not the process used in the Fox classic "The Fly" but rather bringing objects here from another, unknown dimension. One such foot-long object has been materialized and is being shown to military observers led by Gen. Randolph (Aldo Ray). The object is stolen by a journalist who wishes to write about it, and it opens, releasing a series of monsters that go on the rampage.

Mitchell Carter (William Fair) of the Army tries to track down the monsters, using a geiger counter (they are radioactive). He is aided by Lisa (Angelique Pettyjohn), an ESP-sensitive who has been instrumental in Dr. Williams' experiments. Climax has a leading character revealed to be one of the monsters.

Spectacle of seeing the "Alien" monster imitated in each of its guises is a sad excuse for a film, loaded with gore and in-jokes (at one point a monster angrily tears up a poster displaying "E. T."). This short feature ends ludicrously with the director audibly yelling "Cut!" from off-screen, followed by nearly 10 minutes of outtakes as padding. Funniest bit is when mature bombshell Angelique Pettyjohn's platinum blonde wig slips off during a sex scene, duly recorded in the outtake section.

I saw this at the video store, and after passing it a few definite times, the oversized box and cheesy cover art finally got to me, and I knew I just had to rent this. I don't really know what compelled me, but I really do regret it.

I couldn't follow the plot, but here's the gist of it: Scientists use psychic Lisa (Angelique Pettyjohn) to do something that will entail contacting an alien or something stupid like that. All I know is that eventually, a transported case with some alien bursts open, and ET--after a kill or two--breaks free and runs around the middle of nowhere killing people. For some reason, Lisa and one of the scientists (who is also a love interest) are needed to help find this thing, as it kills randomly for the rest of the movie. Then again, there could be more, but I watched through fast-forward for the last twenty minutes, and was only interested by the "shock" ending.

The one thing that surprised me the most was the fact that this movie was only ONE HOUR long! I mean, with a running time like that, you would think it would be nonstop fun. Umm...no. It's dull as hell, with Ray's son in a rubber costume running around killing hobos, old people, young couples, etc, from time to time, and Lisa and Mr. Scientist Love Interest chasing it down with other stock characters. *sighs* I can't believe how bad this was.

The blooper reel during the closing credits was mildly entertaining, and filled another ten minutes into the movie, making it a whopping 70 minutes, but that didn't even save this bomb. I really can't say I recommend this the least bit. (And anyway, I had no idea what was going on, becuase I fast-forwarded so much. You may do the same, if you dare watch this.)

Well, movie fans, it is not a question of whether you like or don't like this movie - it is simply a question of wether you are into trash or not. Should you be one of the happy movie goers who have cultivated the watching of trash to an art form you definitely won't be disappointed with Fred Olen Ray's masterpiece of fun trash - BIOHAZARD! The first time you see this movie you may ask yourself why someone gets money to do such a film. On the other hand, if you really can't help stopping to laugh about what is happening on screen, you probably know how well the money was spent on this project. But I must warn all you trash lovers: BIOHAZARD will make you an addict to this film genre. Since having watched BIOHAZARD for the first time several years ago I probably must have watched it ten times or even more at least! And it still gets me laughing out loud! Be sure to invite some of your friends for a DVD session of this film - you all will have a really great time! Make sure to provide enough pop corn, though!