Vale da Morte

I couldn't believe some of the horrible dialog coming out of people's mouths, and the end reel of bloopers attached to body of the film was a real hoot. And we get titty shots of Angelique Pettyjohn (sort of) and Loren Crabtree to boot.

A teleportation device activated by psychic Angelique Pettyjohn brings an alien container to an underground lab out in the desert. According to director Fred Olen Ray, they were leftover sets from the Klaus Kinski film, ANDROID which gives the film an increased value beyond how cheap it looks.

Inside the container is a midget alien (played by Ray's son) who starts clawing people to death. It was pretty funny watching this little 'creature' in a black reptile suit with what looks like large beetle shells attached to it, running around in the dark. We even get to see the little thing stamp and tear at a poster of ET, which I thought was hilarious.

And then there's what looks like a snake that also comes out of the container that gets hammered to death by William Fair, after the mini creature chews into Frank McDonald's neck in the kitchen. A low budget take on ALIEN, I suppose...

The whole thing ends abruptly, looking like they ran out of film at the end before the blooper reel comes in with the end credits. Talk about a lack of funding...

Fred Olen Ray also mentions in the director's commentary that they also weren't sure if Aldo Ray would make through the shooting and remember his lines. He barely did.

Low budget cheese sneeze. It's fun to watch, I'll grant ya that.

4 out of 10

I saw this at the video store, and after passing it a few definite times, the oversized box and cheesy cover art finally got to me, and I knew I just had to rent this. I don't really know what compelled me, but I really do regret it.

I couldn't follow the plot, but here's the gist of it: Scientists use psychic Lisa (Angelique Pettyjohn) to do something that will entail contacting an alien or something stupid like that. All I know is that eventually, a transported case with some alien bursts open, and ET--after a kill or two--breaks free and runs around the middle of nowhere killing people. For some reason, Lisa and one of the scientists (who is also a love interest) are needed to help find this thing, as it kills randomly for the rest of the movie. Then again, there could be more, but I watched through fast-forward for the last twenty minutes, and was only interested by the "shock" ending.

The one thing that surprised me the most was the fact that this movie was only ONE HOUR long! I mean, with a running time like that, you would think it would be nonstop fun. Umm...no. It's dull as hell, with Ray's son in a rubber costume running around killing hobos, old people, young couples, etc, from time to time, and Lisa and Mr. Scientist Love Interest chasing it down with other stock characters. *sighs* I can't believe how bad this was.

The blooper reel during the closing credits was mildly entertaining, and filled another ten minutes into the movie, making it a whopping 70 minutes, but that didn't even save this bomb. I really can't say I recommend this the least bit. (And anyway, I had no idea what was going on, becuase I fast-forwarded so much. You may do the same, if you dare watch this.)

#194 Biohazard - 1985 (This Films Rates a C ) In a remote research lab, scientists are working on experiments involving the transferring of matter from other dimensions. It's so remote that even the army has a hard time locating it. The film involves an army officer named Mitchell who teams up with a psychic, Lisa, who is a part of the experiments. "Her mental energy will receive and transmit to this location anything her mind can attract". But, because of a lose cable outside of the area is unsecured it brings back a large "metal trunk". The government wants the trunk and are going to cart it out through the desert in a military vehicle. The alien creature escapes into the desert of course. It is short, dressed in a black rubber suit and likes to kill. There is also a snake like creature that doesn't last long but is fun to laugh at. Meanwhile a group bans together to hunt it down. "You go down on him and when I hear your moans, I'll come running". They ultimately split up into groups as predicted. The crazy twist ending seems to fit even if wacky and tacky. It has beautiful desert scenery, which is a highlight of the film, plus the gore effects are a bit bloody. This is as good as a $250,000 budget can bring you. The alien creature ripping down and stomping on the ET movie poster was priceless. To its discredit however, the script and acting are dumb, jumpy and disjointed. It is truly terrible. One character has his throat ripped out but "they stopped the bleeding, and he is going to be ok" also they are about to kill this alien creature and instead get into a fist fight right in front of it, and then instead of killing this thing, he walks away? There is brief sex and psychic boobage but not enough to elevate the film. There is just so much that doesn't work here. It's just a romp into something mediocre.

Biohazard (1985) is a movie that I recently watched on Tubi. The storyline follows a science experiment gone wrong that creates a monster with psychic abilities that can reproduce quickly. Can the scientists survive the creature and stop it before taking over the planet?

This movie is directed by Fred Olen Ray (The Phantom Empire) and stars Aldo Ray (We're No Angels), Angelique Pettyjohn (Repo Man), Bret Miller (Some Are Born), David O'Hara (Nightingale: A Melody of Life) and Art Payton (Never too Young to Die).

The costumes, sets and props are a lot of fun and classic 80s. The alien is a man in a costume and looks like it, but it's still fun to watch. As you would expect in this picture there's lots of flashes of topless scenes and the ladies are absolutely gorgeous. The cast delivers strong performances and the dialogue is well written with some fun comedy and zings. The horror special effects are limited and the kills are fairly mediocre, though the baby creatures were entertaining. There is a nice twist at the end.

Overall, this is an above average addition to the science fiction horror genre that I would score a 5.5/10 and strongly recommend.

My review was written in August 1985 after watching the movie on Continental video cassette.

Made in 1981 and just released on video cassette, "Biohazard" is a silly horror film that slavishly imitates (as have many other low-budgeters) the monster effects in the 1979 hit "Alien". Ironically, pic made for 21st Century release retained its moniker though 20 Century Fox reportedly tried to buy the name to affix to its recent "Warning Sign" film. Postscript is that 20th Fox is itself back in production with the Sigourney Weaver-starred sequel "Aliens".

Thin story has Dr. Williams (Arthur Payton) experimenting in his remote desert research lab on matter transfer, not the process used in the Fox classic "The Fly" but rather bringing objects here from another, unknown dimension. One such foot-long object has been materialized and is being shown to military observers led by Gen. Randolph (Aldo Ray). The object is stolen by a journalist who wishes to write about it, and it opens, releasing a series of monsters that go on the rampage.

Mitchell Carter (William Fair) of the Army tries to track down the monsters, using a geiger counter (they are radioactive). He is aided by Lisa (Angelique Pettyjohn), an ESP-sensitive who has been instrumental in Dr. Williams' experiments. Climax has a leading character revealed to be one of the monsters.

Spectacle of seeing the "Alien" monster imitated in each of its guises is a sad excuse for a film, loaded with gore and in-jokes (at one point a monster angrily tears up a poster displaying "E. T."). This short feature ends ludicrously with the director audibly yelling "Cut!" from off-screen, followed by nearly 10 minutes of outtakes as padding. Funniest bit is when mature bombshell Angelique Pettyjohn's platinum blonde wig slips off during a sex scene, duly recorded in the outtake section.