Homework

I remember seeing trailers for "Homework" when it was released in 1982, hyping it as an older woman-younger man sex comedy à la "My Tutor," "Private Lessons" or "Class." I didn't want to see it in 1982 but sought it out recently thinking that, if nothing else, it would be fun to watch Joan Collins go into full-on vixen mode and make teen-age boys squirm. And that would be fun were "Homework" made as a Joan Collins vehicle designed to capitalize on/poke fun at her "Dynasty" fame. But it turns out "Homework" was made in 1979, when Collins' career was in a free-fall and she was appearing in movies like "The Stud" and "Empire of the Ants." She may be one of the biggest names in the cast, but not big enough to ensure this turd got distributed… until 1982, when Collins was the queen of prime time.

The actual star of "Homework" is the late Michael Morgan. Morgan, who brings to mind a very young (and less interesting) Owen Wilson, is Tommy, a whiny teen so preoccupied by his virginity that he's failing his classes and needing to see a therapist (Carrie Snodgress, another slumming actress in the cast). Not helping is Sheila (Erin Donovan), the girl to whom Tommy wants to lose his virginity, if he could just get her to stop her obsessive quest to make the swim team. While Sheila swims Tommy and his friend Ralph (Lanny Horn) decide to form a band, The Flies ("The kind on your pants!"). It's the forming of the band, not Tommy getting laid, that is the main driver of "Homework"'s shambling story. Sprinkled throughout the movie are fantasy sequences (the only parts of the movie that appear to be shot in the 1980s) that seem to exist solely to pad the runtime with some extra T&A, using an obvious stand-in for Morgan. Joan Collins plays Sheila's mom, by the way. She spends most of her 15 minutes of screen time reminiscing about her teen years (flashback to the 1950s for more bare breasts!) while her husband takes a shower off camera. A stand-in takes over when Collins' character finally gives in to her awakened desires, a sex scene that would have been anticlimactic, so to speak, even if Collins had done her own nudity. (Though she was not averse to doing nude scenes in other movies, Collins refused to take anything off for "Homework," a choice made because of money rather than modesty, I imagine.)

Despite being totally inept, "Homework" is intermittently entertaining, like a scene in which a class is shown a poorly animated, 1960s-era V.D. scare film. There are also some surprising dark moments, such as when it's revealed that The Flies' drummer is abused by his father. Dan Safran and Maurice Peterson's mess of a screenplay doesn't seem to know which direction to go — teen sex comedy? coming of age dramedy? let's put on a show-style semi-musical? — and director James Beshears only makes things worse. Were this movie a little more tasteless and a lot more memorable it could easily be the "Myra Breckinridge" of teen comedies. Instead, it's a reminder of just how dire things had become for Joan Collins before she joined the cast of "Dynasty."

Within 5 minutes of this teenage romp we see a shaggy hair blonde kid scribbling in his notebook under the bedroom lamp, dream sequences about Porn-actresses being photographed by sleazy men and the same young man and his friend smoking a joint at their lockers while subsequently ogling half naked girls through a door vent. When a movie starts out this cheesy you are immediately forewarned of what you are getting into or what one might think they hope to donate their precious time to, a guilty pleasure. Unfortunately, Homework doesn't get any better. Joan Collins, as the tigress who allures young Michael, ends up looking shoddy and lascivious instead of the wise seductress she is meant to be. This movie is filled with 3rd rate acting and the directing is what one would expect from a novice High School student directing his first movie. The film looks so bad that you could easily mistake this for 16mm or even 8mm. Usually I can laugh and enjoy these old teen movies for the freak value and nostalgic curios they offer. But not this one. Oddly enough, the movie ends on a strangely sad note with the two male friends walking down Hollywood Boulevard whereupon they strike up a conversation about the possibility of making it in motion pictures. The credits roll and this moody ballad about trying to be a star ends this horrible picture. Are we supposed to feel morose? Happy? Inspired? More like ripped off.

I had never heard about this 1982 movie titled "Homework", from director James Beshears, prior to stumbling upon it by random chance here in 2025. And with it being a movie that I had never seen before, of course I opted to check it out and give it a fair chance.

The storyline in the movie, as written by Maurice Peterson and Don Safran, failed to entertain me. The movie felt insanely random and erratic, as the narrative was all over the place, yet nowhere all at once.

But I suppose that fans of Joan Collins might enjoy this movie, in some odd and bizarre way, as you get to see her without a top.

Of the entire cast ensemble, I was only familiar with Joan Collins and Wings Hauser. The acting performances in the movie were fair. The acting performances in the movie were fair, despite the fact that the storyline was rubbish.

The music in the movie was insanely annoying to listen to.

This is definitely not a movie that I would recommend you to waste 89 minutes on watching.

My rating of director James Beshears's 1982 movie "Homework" lands on a generous two out of ten stars.

I suppose you could call it a feature length after school special. Homework touches on some strange subjects though (I wish after school specials had been this interesting) including having sex with your girlfriends mom and how to cope with getting vd from a rock star. It's somewhat likeable, but I recommend watching it for the camp value alone.

It wasn't perfect, and that's why it's so cool. Lots of emotion, and you can tell it's from a true story. And catch Betty Thomas! I saw it on Showtime a long time ago but I just rented it and it really brought back memories. Joan Collins' role is short but bitchin.