Blazing Stewardesses

Never before have I contemplated suicide until I saw this movie. It seemed like a skin flick that never got started. This film wasted 95 minutes of my life that I will NEVER get back.

I rented out this DVD set with both Blazing Stewardesses and Naughty Stewardesses because I expected some cheap fun exploitation flick with a cast of recognizable names. Something like 1979's 'Gas Pump Girls' made in the 70s that included Huntz Hall from the old Bowery Boys movies, or 1976's Won Ton Ton - The Dog That Saved Hollywood, which brought out a lot of stars from the 30s to 50s.

There are tons of rotten films that seem made for drive-in theater dates during the 1950s through the 1980s. There's absolutely no reason to actually watch these movies because of lack of plot and continuity. There might be a flash of flesh but overall they were disappointing, so you might as well focus on your date in the back seat. But to see actors with 30+ years of film and stage credit to their names take on roles for this crap is flat-out sad. Either the money had to be good or Don Barry, Robert Livingston, Yvonne DeCarlo, and the Ritz Brothers were blackmailed or coerced. These films were so bad that if you have the chance at a convention or wherever to meet the idiots responsible for this mess - seems as though writers John D'Amato and Samuel Sherman are still alive, while director Al Adamson is dead - punch them in the nose.

Me and my friends rented this movie hoping for a mindless fun movie with maybe some cute women to look at. We were horribly horribly wrong. It wasn't until maybe half way through it that we realized what the problem was exactly. Clues : One of the women had the body of a 20 year old but the face of an 80 year old. Boring incredibly long masked horse rider scenes that seem unrelated to the actual movie (maybe we weren't paying enough attention to the plot but you shouldn't HAVE to in a movie like this!) The biggest clue of all was the appearance of the Ritz Brothers. I have not seen any of the Ritz Brother's early work. I had never heard of them before this movie. The Ritz Brothers make several cameo appearances in some of the most disgusting, painful, grotesque "comedy" routines ever put on film. Frankly I'm shocked the other reviewers here thought they were funny. The Ritz Brothers are two very old (VERY) men who just want to entertain the nice people! In the first scene we get to see one of the Ritz brothers bony wrinkly legs, thighs and all. We get to watch them eat a giant sandwich for a long time. The pinnacle of their grotesqueness is when the old Ritz Brother gets scrambled eggs all over his face. PICTURE IT. Eggs dripping down a whimpering old man's face. Does this make you laugh, or vomit? Rent Blazing Stewardess to find out.

Also rent Blazing Stewardesses if you want to see a big fat drunk guy have sex with a blow up doll in a scene that goes on for way too long.

BLAZING STEWARDESSES suggests a T & A movie, but it's a low-budget western which tries awfully hard to imitate horse operas of the '40s. Masked killers on horseback terrorize a western town, where girls mingle with guests at a dude ranch. Former cowboy stars Don "Red" Barry and Robert Livingston have character roles, and Yvonne DeCarlo has a featured role. Best scenes involve The Ritz Brothers (Harry and Jimmy), who offer comedy relief as ranch hands.

If you're looking for something sexy, this will disappoint you, but old-movie buffs and Ritz Brothers fans may give it points for good intentions.

I first saw this film during a Saturday matinee at the Pequa Theatre in Massapequa Park, NY. It was on a double bill with "Girls for Rent". Since it was R rated, my friends and I had to sneak in to see it, which made it even tastier. OK....this is a VERY bad film. It will never make any ten best lists, and it probably wouldn't interest 9/10ths of the current population, BUT for lovers of low budget fun this is the proverbial jackpot. Firstly, it features a cast of old timers: Yvonne DeCarlo, Donald "Red" Barry, Bob Livingston, and best of all, the two surviving Ritz Brothers (their brother, Al, had passed away in 1965). It also features musical numbers (Miss DeCarlo sings a HORRIBLE song at a barbecue, and the Ritz's follow her with one of their patented dance numbers.). It also has a western plot right out of Gower Gulch. Cowboys, Arabs, goggle eyed comics, oldtime movie stars, busty broads, and all on a budget 0f less that 70 grand! Brother, this is living!