Cycle Vixens

Only gave it a 1 because there IS no zero on this scale.

I saw the movie on post at Fort Bliss in 1981, and I still can't get the horrible thing out of my head.

Pathetic acting, screen writing, directing, and continuity editing make this the quintessential icon for material that should never have been filmed.

Watch this movie once, and you'll never see another bad film again in your life.

For this reason and this reason alone, it is probably worth watching . . . ONCE.

Seeing it more often could be hazardous to your taste.

This movie is what you would get if you crossed Easy Rider with Thelma and Louise, and had a 14-year old write the script. The ending is so odd that I sat in my bean bag frozen in awe of it's sheer lunacy. I only wish enough of you would see this movie to actually make the Worst Movie List, but doing so would probably double the total viewers who have ever seen this film.

Cycle Vixens is, as another user comment has said, one of the worst films ever made - but that's only half the story. While it is truly an act of will to get through the entire movie, the wait is incredibly worth it. Cycle Vixens shrugs the usual Hollywood thinking by actually fulfilling your desires for the three "biker chicks" in the final scene. Of the five people that started watching it, I was the only one left in the room for the finale. Once I was able to stop my uncontrollable laughter (after the end credits) I rewound the tape to just before the final scene and found the other four friends who had meandered to other places. They all sat and watched the end and agreed: it was the best ending of any film.

This movie is so bad, it's embarrassing. I think it's intended as a sort of morality fable on the dangers of sex, drugs, and rock and roll. But the story is so muddled it's hard to tell. I hope they did not pay someone to write the screenplay.

This might make good subject material for Mystery Science Theatre, or as something to giggle at while stoned. Other than that, don't bother.

OK, there are those likely to pan this movie as intolerable and unwatchable. I'd like to point out that they've probably seen it on VHS released as "Cycle Vixens" (the original title was the more poignant "Young Cycle Girls".) In that case they are to be excused. The poor editing (I suspect the dub comes off of late night TV) ruins the true beauty of this film. No film demands the unedited, seen-at-a-drive-in experience quite like this one. Three young beauties living in suburban hell decide to throw caution to the wind and ride their cycles to California (beaches, boys and beer!). En route they encounter peeping toms - whom the girls at first happily grant a free look, then berate the dirty pervert (something they may regret later), corrupt cops, and junkie rapists. On the lighter side, they do have a blast at a 70's version of a water park, rock out to station 108 with groovy pot smoking teens, and have a laugh riot with Jerome and his morbidly obese girl. All the while the girls grow, both internally and externally. Although heartbreaking to watch them living in the cold, emotionally dead households they come from, you too shall be liberated with them as they open up like butterflies emerging from the cocoon while "cruisin down the road". The only reason to continue living for america's youth seems to be a glimpse of the pacific ocean, and these girls carry on their shoulders the hopes of America's 70's youth culture with great courage. Do they get to the promised land (or ocean)? Why do they regret mocking hulking semi-retarded perverts? Who is "cool Jinx" and is he really cool? I would tell you, but these are things you simply need to experience for yourself. If all you can find is the horrific, heavily edited VHS "Cycle Vixens", well you should watch it, but realize you're only catching the tip of the iceberg.