O Triângulo do Diabo

Cheese and ham, uniquely baked into a mess but somehow watchable. Completely overdubbed and bizarrely so. There are two young children in this. Their overdubbed voices sound like non-actors 10 years older with English as their second language, while dictating a script they are unfamiliar with. Crazy film making. The story is simple and linear but the acting and dialogue, OMG.

The characters are dumb in this. It's strikingly obvious to most characters what the problem is but no one takes the easy step to solve it. Geeez.

Bermuda Triangle, The (1978)

* (out of 4)

Incredibly bad film from Mexican director Rene Cardona, Jr. A family goes off to the Bermuda Triangle to see what the big deal is and guess what happens. This film tries to be mysterious and creepy but fails on both levels because the screenplay is all over the place and never really makes a bit of sense. Character enter and exit the film without any explanation and the "mystery" of the Bermuda Triangle is never resolved or even talked about much, although the film tries to play claim to a cursed doll, which causes all the problems. There's some wonderful underwater photography but this too get hampered by three real sharks being killed on the screen for no reason. John Huston, Andres Garcia, Gloria Guida and Claudine Auger star.

Edward (John Huston...yes, that John Huston) charters the Black Whale III to take his family out to some Caribbean waters to search for what he believes is a sunken city. Naturally, they pass into the Bermuda Triangle and strange stuff starts happening (can you guess which actor disappears first, paycheck clenched tightly in hand?). It is up to Capt. Briggs (Hugo Stiglitz) to get everyone to safety. René Cardona Jr. was certainly getting his water freak on during this time period (this, TINTORERA, CYCLONE). The film is slim on thrills but somehow watchable. Cardona throws about every horror cliché at the screen and the crux of the plot rests on a young girl fishing a possessed doll (that may or may not be an old Triangle victim...don't ask) out of the ocean in order for the mayhem to start an hour in. He then throws in some other Triangle incidents randomly like some planes that go missing. There is also some nice underwater footage but Cardona ruins it all with some unnecessary real footage of two sharks being killed. Ugh. On a side note, did something drastically go wrong in John Huston's personal life in 1977? Divorce? Health bills? Loan sharks? Something? Because I can't explain his starring roles that year in this, TENTACLES, and Umberto Lenzi's BATTLE FORCE. We're talking three years removed from CHINATOWN here folks.

This movie was poorly directed. For example, there's the scene with the pillars falling - instead of swimming away from them, or over the pillars that had already fallen, they swim in between those that haven't fallen yet, putting themselves in more danger as they fall.

Was the killing of the sharks and actual beheading the small birds necessary? I wasn't expecting to see the killing of sharks for no reason other than some kind of cruel entertainment.

Some of the acting was very bad too. Even John Huston did not perform well.

There was, however something I liked about this movie, namely Gloria Guida, who was as beautiful as any actress in the world at that time.

Rene Cardona, Jnr was arguably the most recognisable Latin exploitation film maker in the late seventies through mid eighties, and his brand was easily identifiable through his use of fading American character actors and gory special effects. Disappointingly, that brand is conspicuously absent here, with John Huston in a relatively brief supporting role, the only 'marquee' import, and little to none of the gory special effects usually synonymous with a Cardona picture.

The plot concerns the usual spate of mysterious disappearances converging on the Bermuda Triangle, while research vessel inadvertently sails into a maelstrom of intrigue and bizarre occult activity that seems to centre on a creepy-looking doll that is found floating in the ocean. It soon possesses the youngest child and in turn manages to wreak havoc amongst the rest of the crew, until, mysteriously, just a handful of weary survivors remain.

Perennial Cardona leading-men Stiglitz and Garcia make an amiable cinema coupling, and they continue their reliable presence here, with the once-sultry Marina Vlady and former bombshell Claudine Auger largely wasted in shallow supporting roles. Miguel Fuentes as a chiselled, Neanderthal looking mechanic is unintentionally hilarious at times, as he randomly emerges from the small engine room door to taunt the spooked passengers with doomsday prophecies, before returning to the ship's bowels to inhale more petrol fumes and envisage even more facile tales of terror for his next appearance.

While not totally inept - some unsettling suspense, good sets, colour and sound in particular - the special effects are profoundly amateurish and the dialogue is at times, painfully puerile. The possessed doll on which the story centres however does convey a certain Argento 'esque feel which is plainly scary (watch for those unnerving close-ups of the doll's face - creepy). Not your typical Cardona-style picture, and probably more accessible as a result. Average, but worth a look.