Valete de Ouros

This movie is so limp.

The heists are dull. The female cameos are insipid.

The acting is TV level. And the soundtrack belongs in an elevator.

Watching George Hamilton IV gabbing with lisping (or drunk) Joseph Cotton isn't remotely interesting. Cotton's makeup is so ghastly he looks like a marrionette.

Some of the locations are OK, but whoever director Don Taylor had behind the lens didn't take proper advantage, most of the time.

There's no way this movie would ever have seen the light of day after initial release if not for TCM.

Modern-day Canadian cat burglar, young, handsome and rich, steals precious gems from wealthy women all over the world; he's mentored by a veteran thief, both of whom become begrudging partners with a female cat burglar and her stepfather, who has concocted his own Mission: Impossible--stealing royal blood red diamonds from an impenetrable vault. Disposable caper, written by four screenwriters (Jack DeWitt, co-producer Sandy Howard, Howard Joseph and Robert L. Joseph), has tongue in cheek and brain in neutral. The tinkling background score from Peter Thomas and Bob Harris lends the proceedings some groovy charm, but lead George Hamilton (while agile) fails to lighten the load with his nondescript personality. Star cameos by robbery victims Lilli Palmer, Carroll Baker and Zsa Zsa Gabor (playing themselves) are incidental, though Gabor makes the most of her screen time with a cheeky turn. ** from ****

Daring cat burglar Jeff Hill (George Hamilton) steals from Zsa Zsa Gabor a second time. He often steals from movie stars. During a heist on a cruise ship, he is surprised by a female thief. His mentor Ace of Diamonds (Joseph Cotten) advices him to join him in retirement. While they are on a ski vacation, Jeff is chased down by Olga who introduces them to her mentor Nicolai. It turns out that Olga is the female thief. The foursome decides to do a big heist together.

I like the cat burglaring the most. Zsa Zsa tries to have some self-deprecating fun to start. I can do without the cops or at least, they should get a more charismatic actor to lead the cops. The rest is fine for the most part. George Hamilton is not the most well known for his acting. The heists have some light thrills especially when they are moving among the fake roof tops. This is fine.

"The Jack of Diamonds" is a most enjoyable film, for fans of Mr. Hamilton. The story is that of a retired jewel thief (Joseph Cotton) who is known as "The Ace of Diamonds." Although he has long since retired, his new protégé George Hamilton has earned the reputation of a world class Cat Bugler and is so proficient he has come to the attention of international Insurance investigator Von Schenk (Wolfgang Presiss.) The insurance organization and the police are very interested in capturing him and the other two re-known jewel thieves like the King and Queen of Diamonds, (Murice Evans and Maire Laforte) and their aid Helmut (Karl Lieffen). They plan on going after the World Series of Jewels called the Hazerhoff Collection and will need all their collective skills to obtain it as it is not only well guarded, but the insurance company is waiting for them to try. Fun is an understatement, as the combined star power makes the film as interesting as the caper itself. A good film in any sense of the word. ****

One great line in the film. After Gabor's jewels were stolen the second time the Press showed up at the scene of the crime to interview her. One Reporter asked if she had seen the Cat Burglar. She said: "No, but that he must have seen me". Feigning surprise after looking her body up & down he said: "Why would the burglar have left?". Gabor retorted: "There isn't a straight man left in America"! They all laughed and left. Now given that this film was released in 1967 the expression 'straight' seems ahead of it's time and yet there seems no doubt as to what was implied. Was this some in-joke as surely Gabor had done much 'research' in her personal life. I'm sure the audience laughed with the Reporters yet only a few would have known what the joke really was.